Shannon.tay Posted August 16, 2016 Posted August 16, 2016 hey guys, I'm still very new to this and I just want some advice. not totally sure this fits in the category, but it's worth a shot. I recently broke up with my boyfriend, a man I was and still am certain he's the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. but the situation is less than ideal, and the reason I broke up with him is complicated. but an easy way to put it is I suffer from an anxiety disorder and well, it got the best of me. regardless of the reason, I also suffer from bouts of depression and I guess you can say that I'm having a really hard time dealing with normal daily tasks. I just feel like I need to get away. I recently moved to New York City (my uncle offered a free room to me and I couldn't say no). I've always wanted to live in the city, and don't get me wrong, I LOVE IT! but at the same time, I feel lonelier than ever. Basically, what I really wanted to get at is, I think I need to get away. not necessarily run from my problems. but give myself a little quality ME-TIME. is it weird that I want to go on a weeks vacation by myself? for instance, to Mexico at a nice resort so I can listen to music and read a few great books on the beach. get all dressed up and go to dinner and watch the waves. I know I just said I feel lonelier than ever, and I feel like it's strange that I want to do this. HELP!
Bialy Posted August 16, 2016 Posted August 16, 2016 DEEP BREATH! A lot of changes recently -- a breakup, a move, and now you are considering a random trip to Mexico. You just moved recently and are in large, vibrant metropolitan area. Is this your first time living in the NYC area? If it is, explore the city more! Volunteer at a theater/music venue to meet new people. Join a hiking club and go hiking on the weekends -- there are a ton of groups. GET OUT and ENJOY! You're letting your anxiety get the best of you. Why not wait until Oxtober or November to go on holiday to Mexico? The weather will be Autumn in NY and you'll be able to enjoy sun and sand then.
Author Shannon.tay Posted August 16, 2016 Author Posted August 16, 2016 Bialy- I meant to say sometime around my birthday in January. sorry about that, I can't think straight lately.....I went to school in the city, so being in the city isn't a culture shock. I think my issue is, it's just, I have this whole new life and I can't seem to get adjusted. I don't even want to interact with people and I hate feeling that way 1
Bialy Posted August 16, 2016 Posted August 16, 2016 Ahhhh. That explains it. In that case, YES, take a vacation in January to Mexico. I wish I knew what else to say! One suggestion that has worked for me, maybe it will work for you. Consider a gym membership and taking a fitness class once or twice a week. When I'm not feeling social, but still want to get out of my apartment, I'll take a class. 40 minutes, gets you out of the house, in a social environment that doesn't involve any socializing... lol... Sounds silly, but it works for me. Spin class for the win No talking or socializing necessary. It's such a big part of my routine, I now do it for the fun of it to burn some energy.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 16, 2016 Posted August 16, 2016 It's not strange at all! In fact, I highly recommend it. After my 7.5-year relationship ended, I took myself to Italy for 2 weeks. Alone. I loved it so much I moved there the following year. Almost 4 years later, I'm still living in Rome. Sometimes one door closes so another one can open. Take the vacation. Explore both your surroundings and yourself. You never know what's waiting for you. 3
Author Shannon.tay Posted August 16, 2016 Author Posted August 16, 2016 ExpatinItaly- that is so amazing! I'm truly happy for you! but I don't really want to do exploring. I just want to go to a resort, lay out and read. go to the spa and just enjoy myself. I don't want to go exploring really. but I'm scared I'll feel even more alone and stuck. I'm just really lost right now. maybe this is a pipe dream, just hoping I was elsewhere.
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