tcc7762 Posted August 16, 2016 Posted August 16, 2016 Divorce him, find someone better, live happily ever after. 1
Author betacharlie Posted August 16, 2016 Author Posted August 16, 2016 I tried Dr. fone but it asks for the Icloud password. I don't have that.
Zahara Posted August 16, 2016 Posted August 16, 2016 I tried Dr. fone but it asks for the Icloud password. I don't have that. So you mentioned that it is confirmed that he was with this woman. What else do you need? 1. Physically abusive 2. Emotionally abusive. 3. Cheater 4. Liar Time to get out. No more sitting around. And you can't hurt someone like him.
Author betacharlie Posted August 16, 2016 Author Posted August 16, 2016 So you mentioned that it is confirmed that he was with this woman. What else do you need? 1. Physically abusive 2. Emotionally abusive. 3. Cheater 4. Liar Time to get out. No more sitting around. And you can't hurt someone like him. OK. But so he will be out enjoying going scot free and I am the one who is supposed to hurt ?
heartwhole Posted August 16, 2016 Posted August 16, 2016 OK. But so he will be out enjoying going scot free and I am the one who is supposed to hurt ? You will move on to bigger and better things. He never will.
ChickiePops Posted August 17, 2016 Posted August 17, 2016 Who cares what happens to him??? Why are you SO unconcerned with your own safety?? This man is abusive. He will never change. His punishment is that he has to live with himself. You think he will care if you catch him cheating? He won't. He'll probably just laugh in your face and try to convince you that you deserve it..and at this point you'll probably believe him. What are you waiting for? Leave! 1
mrs rubble Posted August 17, 2016 Posted August 17, 2016 Do you have children? I hope not, because this is a very toxic environment. Please leave because he is abusive, the emotional damage is evident in you already, you fear leaving him, you think you will 'suffer' if you do leave him and you seem to be minimalising the physical abuse, you're completely controlled/manipulated by him. Don't punish yourself further by looking for evidence of his cheating, we all know it's there, and it's not going to make anything better. Get yourself some counselling and get yourself a plan to leave for good. Don't wait!
Zahara Posted August 17, 2016 Posted August 17, 2016 OK. But so he will be out enjoying going scot free and I am the one who is supposed to hurt ? YOU need to take accountability for allowing yourself to get hurt and to get this far in a toxic relationship. I'm sure you saw red flags even before you married him. So, take responsibility for putting yourself in this disastrous relationship. The sooner you do that, the sooner you let this go. He's going to be enjoying with or without you. You've already made bad decisions in your life, now is the time to make a smart one -- move on and don't attempt to go against someone that can be a danger to you. I know you're angry but what did you expect from someone like him? I mean he's physically hurt you and you've sat there taking it. At some point it's nobody else's fault but yours. Time to leave. Get therapy. Try to rebuild your self-esteem. Put this man behind you. 1
BuddyX Posted August 17, 2016 Posted August 17, 2016 Living well is your best revenge. Once you drop the Divorce papers and expose him for the Abusive coward he is, it will hit him hard. Trust me. That stigma does not go away easily. 1
oldshirt Posted August 17, 2016 Posted August 17, 2016 Last night he came home drunk and I figured from his phone while he was sleeping that he has been with that woman and had returned from her place. So it is confirmed then that he has been with her all this while. Guys the reason I want to find out the truth is because I want him to be hurt, I want some sort of action. This is because last year we were in a legal case and I supported him completely when I could have screwed him over and now I feel like a complete idiot. I really want to see him hurt for the betrayal, hurt and damage he has caused me and my family. Maybe the evidence helps with that. Hes currently on probation for battery assault and DV. I was the victim and I foolishly supported him and look where I am today. so in other words, you are wanting to cause him grief and hurt and pain too. Isn't the definition of abuse, the intentional inflicting of pain and/or emotional distress? This is a very toxic relationship at best and a potentially dangerous powderkeg waiting to blow up and hurt everyone at worst. I understand your hurt and anger, but as was mentioned above, you went into this knowing it was going to be volatile and dysfunctional and you knew he was not a good person and now you are scheming on how you can hurt him more. Y'know, I think the way to extricate yourself from this explosive toxic wastedump and the way to hurt him the most are one and the same. What will cause pain and angst to an abusive, controlling jackhole is to simply walk away and live a good, rich and full life without him. What an abuser wants most is to completely control and dominate his/her subject. Nothing will hurt and infuriate them more than to just walk away from under their yoke of oppression. Get a good lawyer on the downlow and start planning your exit and get your ducks in a row and get your wagons all circled. When the trigger is pulled, there are going to be fireworks and there is going to be some potentially dangerous anger and volatility so you need a hideout plan to keep safe while he comes looking for you. Other than that the best thing you can do for your well being as well as the best way to hurt and infuriate him is to simply get away from him and carry on a good life without him. You'll be killing two birds with one stone.
oldshirt Posted August 17, 2016 Posted August 17, 2016 ....and if you need 100% undeniable proof of him banging some other woman before you can bring yourself to pull the trigger so be it. But I agree with the others, all it is really doing is giving you an excuse to remain in this toxic, dysfunctional relationship longer. IMHO you are looking for justification to hurt him more than he has hurt you. All that pursuit is going to do is poison your soul more than it already is and will make the drama and chaos of Dday that much more volatile and destructive. If leaving scorched earth in your wake is that important to you, I guess there isn't anything we can do to stop it. 1
NTV Posted August 17, 2016 Posted August 17, 2016 Hurting him back won't make your pain any less. If the dog poops in the house, you only rub his nose in it if you plan on keeping the dog.
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