benpom Posted August 15, 2016 Posted August 15, 2016 My SO told me he had the most memorable kiss with his first date. I am the second best. I feel very hurt by this statement. Am I being unreasonable? 1
Redhead14 Posted August 15, 2016 Posted August 15, 2016 My SO told me he had the most memorable kiss with his first date. I am the second best. I feel very hurt by this statement. Am I being unreasonable? Well, he's a dummy at best, but big deal He's with you, right? And, first kisses are often awkward, it just so happens that that time it was really nice. Don't get your panties in a wad over it or you will sabotage things with him. 1
Satu Posted August 15, 2016 Posted August 15, 2016 It was a stupid and pointless comment to make. If you're generally happy with him and your relationship, let it go. If not, you might not be with the right man. Take care. 2
smackie9 Posted August 15, 2016 Posted August 15, 2016 Why was he even on the subject....did you ask him? 3
Author benpom Posted August 15, 2016 Author Posted August 15, 2016 Yeah, I asked. Now I wish I didn't. Why should I ask for something I was not prepared to hear? 1
smackie9 Posted August 15, 2016 Posted August 15, 2016 asking such questions is a sign of insecurity. The reality is, you or I or anyone else is not going to be the best experience of everything our partner has had, just because they are with us now. That expectation is just dumb and unrealistic. Hope you learned a valuable lesson....now just let it go. 2
Redhead14 Posted August 15, 2016 Posted August 15, 2016 And, don't ask him if those jeans make you look fat 4
Author benpom Posted August 15, 2016 Author Posted August 15, 2016 Yeah, I am letting it go with no choice anyway. We are in the middle of divorce now, not over this, but much bigger issues. Last time I asked, he did not want to reconcile. No choice but to move on now. At the time same, I am just trying to sort out what went wrong in our relationship. Hopefully I won't repeat the same mistakes again in the next relationship.
Author benpom Posted August 15, 2016 Author Posted August 15, 2016 Thank you guys for giving insight. Letting go is so hard, not just this issue, but the whole relationship. I go backwards some days. For a while, I was picking up life and moving forward. But last two days, I seem stuck again. Perhaps it's a mistake to not go to the gym today:bunny:
lolablue17 Posted August 15, 2016 Posted August 15, 2016 My wife asks me "do I look fat in that dress?" Even if she looked like a hippo, i will always say "no dear. not at all". Because the punishment for giving the wrong answer is severe!
Gr8fuln2020 Posted August 15, 2016 Posted August 15, 2016 My wife asks me "do I look fat in that dress?" Even if she looked like a hippo, i will always say "no dear. not at all". Because the punishment for giving the wrong answer is severe! There is tact. There is lying. There is being truthful...it is so frustrating that in certain situations, men are encouraged "not to be truthful." I have held a philosophy that has yet to fail me, but it also has everything to do with the ladies I have been with and expectations that I have laid out before dating them...I don't lie. If I am asked about weight, kisses, etc. I either smirk or tactfully phrase things to indicate the truth to which I wish to convey w/o soundling like a jerk. I really believe that sometimes, sometimes, an honest answer is desired....that way, in the future, after many lies, YOU don't feel unfulfilled and the person asking doesn't become shocked that it has "suddenly" become an issue....
Redhead14 Posted August 15, 2016 Posted August 15, 2016 There is tact. There is lying. There is being truthful...it is so frustrating that in certain situations, men are encouraged "not to be truthful." I have held a philosophy that has yet to fail me, but it also has everything to do with the ladies I have been with and expectations that I have laid out before dating them...I don't lie. If I am asked about weight, kisses, etc. I either smirk or tactfully phrase things to indicate the truth to which I wish to convey w/o soundling like a jerk. I really believe that sometimes, sometimes, an honest answer is desired....that way, in the future, after many lies, YOU don't feel unfulfilled and the person asking doesn't become shocked that it has "suddenly" become an issue.... The better way of answering this question would be "That's a nice dress, but I prefer the blue one with the . . . it's very becoming on you". That's diplomacy. The message is basically the same but with a nicer spin.
Author benpom Posted August 16, 2016 Author Posted August 16, 2016 My wife asks me "do I look fat in that dress?" Even if she looked like a hippo, i will always say "no dear. not at all". Because the punishment for giving the wrong answer is severe! There is a still big different between the questions 'do I look fat in that dress?' and questions like 'Who do you like the most?'
Author benpom Posted August 16, 2016 Author Posted August 16, 2016 My SO told me he had the most memorable kiss with his first date. I am the second best. I feel very hurt by this statement. Am I being unreasonable? This is the conversation between my soon-to-be ex SO and me. In return, I revealed the fact that I had more connection and was more attracted to my ex. This became part of the reasons he refuses to reconcile. I was perfectly content about not mentioning past relationships. But he brought up his ex one week into our relationship, and since then this has become a topic of fight over and over again.
Jersey born raised Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 The comment was meant to wound. The person who made it small and petty. (sometimes I do regret this forums rules on laugange although it is a good one,) I am confused and angery he as fond memories of an ex. Yet you told your husband you had a stronger connection with your ex then with him (your husband) ?
road Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 My wife asks me "do I look fat in that dress?" Even if she looked like a hippo, i will always say "no dear. not at all". Because the punishment for giving the wrong answer is severe! Husband do these jeans, skirt, shorts, dress, swim suit, make my butt look big? No wife, your butt makes them look small.
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