He's Amazing, but I'm not physically attracted?

[seeingthisguy]

Everyone, I'm in a pickle.

 

I recently started hanging out with a guy friend (we've been friends for about 3 months), and over the last couple of weeks, he's started dropping hints that he likes me and wants more. We went to dinner a couple of nights ago, and he confirmed my suspicions.

 

Here's the kicker: he's amazing. He opens my car door for me every time I get in, he refuses to let me pay for anything when we go out (I sneak around this sometimes and steal the bill before it arrives), he's constantly telling me I'm gorgeous, and that he feels lucky to be around me, and he's always asking if he can help me with random day to day tasks. No games, no "not texting back" - dude is flawless. But the PROBLEM is... I'm not physically attracted to him. Usually I'd say that, and move on, but this time around the notion seems to be giving me serious anxiety.

 

What do I do?!! I feel like a bad person

[normal person]

 

What do I do?!! I feel like a bad person

 

Not being attracted to someone doesn't make you a bad person -- it's not something you can control. If we could control who we're attracted to, life would be a whole lot easier, but we can't.

 

In the realm of dating, all the guy's good traits are irrelevant if you're not attracted to him. Who cares? There are plenty of amazing, well meaning, accomplished people out there that, for whatever reason, don't get your biological motor running.

 

You don't have to "do" anything. Being a great person doesn't mean you're under some sort of obligation to him. Just tell him that he's a great guy but you don't really see him in the same way he sees you, and if he's as great as you think he is, he'll understand.

[longjohn]

Everyone, I'm in a pickle.

 

I recently started hanging out with a guy friend (we've been friends for about 3 months), and over the last couple of weeks, he's started dropping hints that he likes me and wants more. We went to dinner a couple of nights ago, and he confirmed my suspicions.

 

Here's the kicker: he's amazing. He opens my car door for me every time I get in, he refuses to let me pay for anything when we go out (I sneak around this sometimes and steal the bill before it arrives), he's constantly telling me I'm gorgeous, and that he feels lucky to be around me, and he's always asking if he can help me with random day to day tasks. No games, no "not texting back" - dude is flawless. But the PROBLEM is... I'm not physically attracted to him. Usually I'd say that, and move on, but this time around the notion seems to be giving me serious anxiety.

 

What do I do?!! I feel like a bad person

 

There's nothing wrong with not being attracted. Just stick him into the friend zone and move along. Never feel bad for being honest and going after what you want.

[Versacehottie]

Guilt is a terrible reason to date someone.

 

I do know a handful of stories where a girl's physical attraction to a guy grew because of all the other reasons she could imagine a relationship with him. But it didn't sound like you are "there". It sounds like you are decisively "not attracted". Be a friend and let him go.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Despite still being single, I have never regretted rejecting guys I wasn't physically attracted to. Regardless of how great they are. Literally, not one single moment of regret.

 

In fact, as soon as I made the decison to end it, I felt like a huge burden has been lifted.