Sudden and Strange Break Up?

[eentropy14]

This is going to be a little long!

 

My ex and I have dated for a year and a half, and we were long distance. He is an extremely sensitive guy, and we've had some issues where he has voiced that he wanted an open relationship/threesomes so that he can sleep with men (bisexual). As a monogamous person, I told him that I'm not okay with that and if he wants that, he'd have to leave the relationship. He voiced that he loves me too much to lose me over that, and said I'm the only one for him. He stopped bringing it up.

 

I last saw him two weeks ago, when he invited me to celebrate his birthday with his family. We had a great time, a kiss and hug goodbye. His mother invited me to another gathering which is two weeks from now, we had no issues.

 

But on Friday afternoon, I noticed that he read my last text message and did not say good morning (a usual thing we do, except I'm usually the one to do it). Here's our conversation via text:

 

Me: "hey, no good morning? "

Him: "oh sorry, I fell back asleep"

Me: "okay, this time was different, but I would like to hear a good morning from you first more often "

Him: "I say good morning all the time" (no he doesn't)

Me: "I don't remember that"

 

After that, he began to send me short messages implying attitude.

 

Me: "what's with the attitude?"

Him: "I'm offended"

Me: "over what?"

Him: "You didn't remember"

 

I don't remember him doing that because he never really has lately. I've voiced that to him. Then I started to talk about our communication.

 

Me: "But lately I just feel like I can't say much to you because I feel like I'll offend you or piss you off. It doesn't take much to piss you off lately, is everything alright?"

 

He then replied with a two paragraph response explaining how I make his life a living hell. This ripped my heart out of my chest, I've done nothing but treat him as well as I can. I'll give a shortened version of the text, but you'll get the gist.

 

Him: "all you do is stress my f****** life with bull**** and I'm sick of it. I'm always mad with you because you don't get the sh*t you do, wake up!! You're the f****** reason I'm always mad, I don't wake up happy anymore!!"

Me: "If I do this to you, do you still want me in your life?"

Him: "I'm not answering that"

Me: "I deserve an answer"

 

At this point, I kept asking him to let me know if he wants to stay with me or not. He kept saying that he's not going to answer and things like "you're not going to like the answer", "It's like you want us to break up". I started to call him, because if you're going to break up with me, you at least can do it over the phone. It's not fair to break up with me over text, that's a coward move. He didn't answer my call, but he sent me a text:

 

Him: "I'm not going to answer your call right now because I'm with my family. But you basically held up the mirror for me to see and I can't even recognize myself. It hurts and I want you to be happy. Being with me, you won't be happy."

Me: "if you need to work on yourself or any other issues in your life, I'll help you. But you don't need to leave to fix this."

Him: "This is it, we're not together anymore."

 

A mistake on my part, I started to plead with him to stay. He kept saying things like, "I'm so sorry.", "this hurts", "maybe we can keep talking", "I will always love you.", "maybe this isn't the end", "but I've made up my mind.", "you have to move on".

 

At that point, I stopped answering him. I began to block him on social media. He then replied:

 

Him: "how dare you block me!"

Me: "Well I'm sorry that you feel this way, I will be moving on to other people and other things. Was nice knowing you. I wish you the best."

Him: "I wish you the best too"

 

That was the last that we said, 11pm on Friday. Now he still views my snapchat and makes tweets saying, "I know you still want me."

 

Right now I'm very confused by his behavior. Was this a genuine reason to break up with me? Or a cover up to sleep with other people? I don't know if I want to date him again if he comes back, but I at least want the option.

 

How can I get him to get in contact with me? Will no contact work in this case? Please help, I'm in love with him. I at least want to know that he still cares.

[Redhead14]

This is going to be a little long!

 

My ex and I have dated for a year and a half, and we were long distance. He is an extremely sensitive guy, and we've had some issues where he has voiced that he wanted an open relationship/threesomes so that he can sleep with men (bisexual). As a monogamous person, I told him that I'm not okay with that and if he wants that, he'd have to leave the relationship. He voiced that he loves me too much to lose me over that, and said I'm the only one for him. He stopped bringing it up.

 

I last saw him two weeks ago, when he invited me to celebrate his birthday with his family. We had a great time, a kiss and hug goodbye. His mother invited me to another gathering which is two weeks from now, we had no issues.

 

But on Friday afternoon, I noticed that he read my last text message and did not say good morning (a usual thing we do, except I'm usually the one to do it). Here's our conversation via text:

 

Me: "hey, no good morning? "

Him: "oh sorry, I fell back asleep"

Me: "okay, this time was different, but I would like to hear a good morning from you first more often "

Him: "I say good morning all the time" (no he doesn't)

Me: "I don't remember that"

 

After that, he began to send me short messages implying attitude.

 

Me: "what's with the attitude?"

Him: "I'm offended"

Me: "over what?"

Him: "You didn't remember"

 

I don't remember him doing that because he never really has lately. I've voiced that to him. Then I started to talk about our communication.

 

Me: "But lately I just feel like I can't say much to you because I feel like I'll offend you or piss you off. It doesn't take much to piss you off lately, is everything alright?"

 

He then replied with a two paragraph response explaining how I make his life a living hell. This ripped my heart out of my chest, I've done nothing but treat him as well as I can. I'll give a shortened version of the text, but you'll get the gist.

 

Him: "all you do is stress my f****** life with bull**** and I'm sick of it. I'm always mad with you because you don't get the sh*t you do, wake up!! You're the f****** reason I'm always mad, I don't wake up happy anymore!!"

Me: "If I do this to you, do you still want me in your life?"

Him: "I'm not answering that"

Me: "I deserve an answer"

 

At this point, I kept asking him to let me know if he wants to stay with me or not. He kept saying that he's not going to answer and things like "you're not going to like the answer", "It's like you want us to break up". I started to call him, because if you're going to break up with me, you at least can do it over the phone. It's not fair to break up with me over text, that's a coward move. He didn't answer my call, but he sent me a text:

 

Him: "I'm not going to answer your call right now because I'm with my family. But you basically held up the mirror for me to see and I can't even recognize myself. It hurts and I want you to be happy. Being with me, you won't be happy."

Me: "if you need to work on yourself or any other issues in your life, I'll help you. But you don't need to leave to fix this."

Him: "This is it, we're not together anymore."

 

A mistake on my part, I started to plead with him to stay. He kept saying things like, "I'm so sorry.", "this hurts", "maybe we can keep talking", "I will always love you.", "maybe this isn't the end", "but I've made up my mind.", "you have to move on".

 

At that point, I stopped answering him. I began to block him on social media. He then replied:

 

Him: "how dare you block me!"

Me: "Well I'm sorry that you feel this way, I will be moving on to other people and other things. Was nice knowing you. I wish you the best."

Him: "I wish you the best too"

 

That was the last that we said, 11pm on Friday. Now he still views my snapchat and makes tweets saying, "I know you still want me."

 

Right now I'm very confused by his behavior. Was this a genuine reason to break up with me? Or a cover up to sleep with other people? I don't know if I want to date him again if he comes back, but I at least want the option.

 

How can I get him to get in contact with me? Will no contact work in this case? Please help, I'm in love with him. I at least want to know that he still cares.

 

He is the King of Gaslighting And it's working.

 

No contact is not a tool for "getting someone to come back". No contact is for YOU to move on without being influenced or pulled back into a situation that has been causing you pain or likely to cause you pain. This guy is going to be a pain in your ass and will tear you down bit by bit. It will be death by a 1000 cuts.

 

This is not about a little argument. His behavior is a total and complete overreaction and an attempt to manipulate you. How do I know this . . . he texted "I know you still want me". He's a narcissist.

 

Being in a long distance relationship means it takes longer to really see the real person behind the phone calls and texts.

Edited August 15, 2016 by Redhead14

[h0000]

Statistic shows most bi-women are more into men and most bi-men are also more into men. I suspect this is the case.

 

 

He is pretty nasty to you but you didn't explain why. He said you makes him mad but you didn't tell us what you did.

 

 

Based on the limited info, I don't think you should hope to get back with him at all. And I bet his next partner will be a man

[ExpatInItaly]

He was looking for a way out of the relationship, I believe. That is why he's offended over seemingly minor things (unless there is more you haven't included in your post) He was searching for something to use an excuse to leave, so he chose a fairly minor issues and amplified it to make it look like you wanted to end things. But make no mistake, he doesn't want to be your boyfriend anymore.

 

My guess? He realized he doesn't want a monogamous relationship after all and simply wasn't man enough to tell you that. He sounds like a complete jerk, to be honest. Why would you want to date a guy like this?