joeylad1234 Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 I have being speaking to this girl for over 2 years. We live in different countries but we have managed to make it work fine. She became my gf after a year of speaking and we have met up with each other 5 times. I have met her family, she has met mine. And when were together we just have the best time always. We message each other every day whenever we have time. BUT recently she told me that she doesn't love me anymore, but she still wants to stay in contact as friends. This was very unexpected and I was shocked when she said this after all we had been through. I really don't know what to do now. I love this girl so much and she is the only girl I ever want to be with. I cant even imagine my life without her. The bad thing about us messaging every day for over a year is that my mood has dependently relied on her messages and what she says. It has been for the past year. for example If she doesn't message me saying good morning (she is 2 hours ahead of me) then I get annoyed and cant help but ask why she didn't do it. I'm basically obsessed with her. So what should I do? I don't think I can just be friends with her. not after all we have been through. So do I try and forget about her? or keep talking in hope that she falls in love with me again? or maybe ignore her messages and give her some space, then message her back in 1 months time? 1
Imajerk17 Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 (edited) Welcome to the forum joey. I am sorry, but it is over between you and her. I'd also say it is quite likely that she has met somebody else in the meanwhile--even if she tells you that isn't what happened. The best thing you can do is move on from her--no need to stay friends. Long-distance relationships are quite hard, and this thread illustrates why. All this messaging back and forth tends to get people to idealize their partner, and yet the only way you can really bond with someone is by spending time in person (hard to do with even 5 visits in 2 years). Any reason why you weren't dating someone closer? Edited August 14, 2016 by Imajerk17 2
Author joeylad1234 Posted August 14, 2016 Author Posted August 14, 2016 I met this girl when I was 18 (now im 20). Within the first month of speaking with her I just knew I needed to meet her. And I just haven't even thought about getting with another girl. So that why I haven't been dating anyone close You're telling me I should just forget about her. But having speaking with her everyday for so long, I just know its going to be almost impossible to just have no communication with her ever again. Im also worried that If I ever do meet another girl, that It will just bring back memories of what me and this girl used to have. She is my first love 1
Satu Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 Nobody told you to forget her. Thats not even possible. But the sooner you accept that your relationship has come to an end, the better for you. Now you'll have to adapt to a new life, as a single person. Hanging on will only make that harder. Life isn't about just one person. Life isn't meant to be about just one person. Spend some time investing in yourself. Accept the new reality. Take care. 2
Shanex Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 Welcome, young man. I'm sorry to add the same as written above, seeing each other 5 times over such a long time frame couldn't work. I was in your shoes once. Though not in different countries but hundred miles apart. IME, Long distance relationship can only work if one of the two decide to move in with the other, implying a great compatibility. And having met a number of times before. It's a decision, and not an easy one to take. Moving out to a different country or even a different region or state and abandoning some people and family in the process. You're 20. Your heart will move on. You too will find someone else someday. 1
thefooloftheyear Posted August 15, 2016 Posted August 15, 2016 I know its hard, but for your own sanity and dignity politely decline her offer as a "friend" ..In fact, just ignore her at this point.. It sucks, just try and think of your life before you met her...She was nothing more than a face in the crowd at that point... You will be fine....Just heed my initial advice...It never works and all its going to do is make her feel less guilty and you like crap... Be well.. TFY 1
madjac74 Posted August 15, 2016 Posted August 15, 2016 This was very unexpected and I was shocked when she said this after all we had been through. What exactly have you been through? NOTHING! There are people who have been married 10 + years whose spouse decided to leave them. They have been through something. You are 20...get over it and find a local girl. It's not the last time your heart will be broken
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