Is he still interested?

[millybell]

So I met this guy online we went out on our first date yesterday.

He was holding my hand, wrapping his arm around me, touching my arm, pretty affectionate the whole time. But no further than that no kiss or make out.

after I came home I sent him a thank you text and he replied back.

 

then today i haven't heard from him (he always sent morning text and texted me through out the day before our first date) so I texted him saying where's my morning text.

he then replied saying he wants to be honest, he thinks I'm gorgeous very attractive, we got along great, he liked me a lot, he thought I was a lot of fun. but I was complaining about every little thing which was a turn off for him and that he was disappointed. He said he really liked me and he didn't fake at all when he was being affectionate, he wants me to have fun with him. Then he said 'I'd like to see you again babe'.

The problem is, he hasn't set up our second date yet, and he hasn't sent me any text asking me how my day been and stuff (which he always did before)

 

He's a nice, genuine guy I know he meant all that, but im worried if he was just saying he wants to see me again just to be nice. Should I just move on guys because I really think that if a guy is truly interested and excited about you he will set up next date right away.

[DramaInPajamas]

If you like this guy so much why were you complaining about every little thing? What were you complaining about? What kind of things?

 

You probably came across as hard work and unappreciative and if you are like that on a first date when it is supposed to be fun, imagine what you will be like in a years time.

 

he actually said the moaning was a turn off and it disappointed him.

 

Now he isnt talking to you. I think he has told you he doesnt want to see you again in so many words. The I'd like to see you again, he may just be saying that to be nice. Who knows.

 

It is also common for there to be lots of talk before the first date and if you dont hear from them after, you know they arent interested. Not only did you complain all the time on the date, you were then aggressive in asking him where your morning text was and he told you that he was disappointed by your behavior.

 

I think if a man tells you they were turned off and disappointed by you, then I wouldnt contemplate them coming back.

 

Now you know exactly how not to behave on your next first date.

 

leave him be. Dont contact him. If he asks you out again, you know what to do. Dont complain just be nice and enjoy his company.

Edited August 14, 2016 by DramaInPajamas

[ExpatInItaly]

What were you complaining about?

[millybell]

Thanks for your input.

 

I was actually shocked when he said I complained about every little thing, because I'm not really a complainer I never been told one.

 

He took me to his favorite Greek restaurant, and after he asked me if I liked the place/ so I was just being honest saying food was good but not really my taste.

It was so hot and muggy out and he tried to take me to the park, so I told him I rather stay somewhere inside because I can't stand on the weather.

I guess he planned this greek restaurant and little picnic at the park for me, then he saw me not really following any his plan, so was disappointed?, I don't know.

 

But you are right I should have known it better and not even bother texting him this morning. Thank you!

[DramaInPajamas]

Thanks for your input.

 

I was actually shocked when he said I complained about every little thing, because I'm not really a complainer I never been told one.

 

He took me to his favorite Greek restaurant, and after he asked me if I liked the place/ so I was just being honest saying food was good but not really my taste.

It was so hot and muggy out and he tried to take me to the park, so I told him I rather stay somewhere inside because I can't stand on the weather.

I guess he planned this greek restaurant and little picnic at the park for me, then he saw me not really following any his plan, so was disappointed?, I don't know.

 

But you are right I should have known it better and not even bother texting him this morning. Thank you!

 

Did he check in advance what you liked to eat? If the Greek food was good, why didnt you just say that instead of adding it wasnt your taste? If you liked it, you liked it.

 

Maybe it came across like you didnt like anything he did and it sounds like he made some effort.

 

You could always offer to take him out seeing as he said he wanted to see you again. Take him to somewhere you like eating etc. If he says no, what have you lost?

Edited August 14, 2016 by DramaInPajamas

[Versacehottie]

I agree with the others. What you did would most likely come off as complaining or unappreciative. Also, that you are not a fun person. It's one thing to "tell the truth" (food was just ok) and another to enjoy the atmosphere and company of the guy you are with. Are any of us really on a date to critique the food??? Come on!! Or the weather? Surely when he asked if you like the restaurant--it's a good trick of getting along with people and being likable--tell him what you did like!!! Such as your time with him, use it as a chance to flirt. He's just making conversation and of course wants you to be happy. If you are happy with the food that's good (after all, he said it's his FAVORITE restaurant)--if you are happy with him, even better. I'm not saying lie--but surely you can find something appealing about the place for a guy you like and who went to some trouble for you.

 

On the date you gave him signals that you were going to be the bad kind of high maintenance and no fun. Same with the picnic outside. Would it have killed you to go out there? You needed to recognize that he put in quite a bit of effort with that and instead you killed his enthusiasm about you.

 

On another hand, it's possible that he may have been a touch controlling or over-the-top. Such as it would have been better if he checked with you about what type of food you liked--and if you dislike Greek food, he should have switched up the restaurant. Even in places where the food wasn't good, service wasn't good or was weird--those all can be bonding moments. A chance to show that you are lighthearted and fun. He may have just decided that you don't have much in common or that you two wouldn't be a match. That's why a date is an opportunity to show who you are in a good way and don't take every question so literally.

 

Most of the time, I don't like that people would equate a date with a job interview but in your case, OP, I think it might do you some good to remember you are there to make a good impression. If there are good sides to you (which I'm sure there are), use them as an opportunity to showcase them. Don't take those questions so literally or flip your response so that it does showcase your good side. You could have complimented the atmosphere of the place (thus complimenting his good taste), you could have said the waitress was lovely (showing that you are kind and thoughtful), you could have boldly stated that the company, wink, wink, "him" was your favorite part (showing that you are flirty and into him). Hoping this makes sense.