YoungLondoner Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 Hi all, I have been friends with someone for just over a year now. About three months ago we started seeing each other as more than just friends. However, I felt incredibly guilty and so did he because he was already with someone else. So, he did the right thing and broke-up with his boyfriend early last month. After he broke up with his boyfriend he said he needed some time and space, totally understandably. We've still seen each other every week or so but just for drinks, lunches, dinners, etc. It's really lovely when we are together and he's sent texts saying how much he misses me. However, he also said he needs a bit more space now just to clear his head but that he does definitely want a relationship with me. He doesn't want to enter into the relationship with baggage and wants to enter into it without any distractions. So, I've not text or had contact with him for a week now - just like he asked. I respect that and I do understand but I suppose I just wondered if you think that's a normal reaction and a good sign for the future for us?...
DramaInPajamas Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 (edited) What have you done with your life over the last more than a year? Met new people, gone out, etc. or just hung around waiting for him? He's broken up with his BF now but still isnt with you. And you're still waiting. You're wasting time waiting for him to decide if he wants you or not. He'll always be in control. It is not a good sign that you are sitting waiting for him. Move on and find someone else. Edited August 14, 2016 by DramaInPajamas 1
Author YoungLondoner Posted August 14, 2016 Author Posted August 14, 2016 What have you done with your life over the last more than a year? Met new people, gone out, etc. or just hung around waiting for him? He's broken up with his BF now but still isnt with you. And you're still waiting. You're wasting time waiting for him to decide if he wants you or not. He'll always be in control. Move on and find someone else. Sorry, just to clarify (which is mentioned in my original post) - we started as friends. We've only been seeing each other for about three months now. It's not like I've been waiting around for him for a year - I was dating someone else up until about March of this year too. I'm not so worried about him not wanting me - I'm confident he's a genuine guy and really does care and want a relationship with me. I actually just wanted people's thoughts on the whole "giving people space" part of it and whether you think that in itself is normal and a good sign for us? :-)
leogirl876 Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 No, I don't think this sounds promising. It really sucks, and I'm sorry, but it doesn't sound like he's either ready for a relationship or not that into you. Whatever you do, don't wait around for him. If he comes around, welcome him back with caution, but be careful. 2
DramaInPajamas Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 (edited) Ive seen cheaters who then left their partner and got straight into a new relationship with no break. No gap and no space at all. One relationship wasn't finished yet and they got in another and stayed with it. He left his bf but didnt come for you. He wouldnt risk losing you if he really wanted you. Edited August 14, 2016 by DramaInPajamas
aileD Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 How long was his with his bf? Sometimes, even though you have feelings for someone else....it's still hard to mourn the previous relationship. Or, now that he's out of it, he might be having second thoughts. Give it another week then check in.
seeingthisguy Posted August 15, 2016 Posted August 15, 2016 Ive seen cheaters who then left their partner and got straight into a new relationship with no break. No gap and no space at all. One relationship wasn't finished yet and they got in another and stayed with it. He left his bf but didnt come for you. He wouldnt risk losing you if he really wanted you. 100% agree with this. Him "needing space" sounds like he's trying to find a way out.
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