Nick Lawson Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 (edited) I've started a new relationship recently. (M forties, female thirties) We've met up several times and it's been good however it tends to be me who initiates any contact except on one occasion. She isn't in to text 'conversations' so the last text is usually from me followed by another (from me) a couple of days later suggesting we do something. I accept that so have reduced the texts and phoned her recently instead. When I do invite her to do something, she's always enthusiastic and seems to enjoy it. It's niggling me a bit that she isn't the one to initiate things. I've made a couple of meals but haven't been invited to hers yet. ( I live alone and she shares a house with a family member, who I already know). I've mentioned equal effort in a lighthearted way but it hasn't had any effect.I don't want to be sarcastic or mention it to her directly. Maybe she just wants to be chased and courted which is okay I suppose in the early stages but not in the long term, if it was to develop in to a relationship. Can anyone offer any advice/suggestions? Edited August 14, 2016 by Nick Lawson
CarrieT Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 Can anyone offer any advice/suggestions? The best relationships are based on being able to have open and honest communication. You need to find the words to be able to explain to her exactly how you feel and what your personal needs are in this regard. 2
Ami1uwant Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 Some women choose not yo initiate conversation early on snd wait for the man yo contact first.
Author Nick Lawson Posted August 16, 2016 Author Posted August 16, 2016 (edited) I phoned her again last night and the conversation was good as usual. I'm not that bothered about equal initiative but would prefer if it wasn't just me. I don't want to just let it fizzle out yet don't want to mention it just yet either - I wouldn't like if her level of contact changed as a result of having to have a chat Edited August 16, 2016 by Nick Lawson
Toodaloo Posted August 16, 2016 Posted August 16, 2016 Nick we all get told loads of stuff about how we should and shouldn't date. Thing is different people like different things. She may well be thinking that you are loving that you have to chase her all the time (women are told that a lot)... Talk to her. Just talk to her. Let her know what your expectations are and go from there. If she doesn't have the same then she isn't for you. Its that simple.
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