Nevadaguy Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 About a month ago I wrote my gf had posted a picture of her ex on Instagram and would sometimes go in and like his pictures. They have a son together. The picture is of him and the son on Father's Day. She will like pictures of him and the son on his Instagram, but they don't follow each other. I realized today she hid her relationship status on Facebook. She has also never posted a picture of us on Instagram. Does that seem odd? We have been together about 4 months. I am 40 she is 25.
mortensorchid Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 They have a son together, that will never go away. Don't show her you are concerned about this. She's with you now, not him. If she's a good woman she'll be with you despite this factor. If she's not, then she's not. But, you won't know that until more time has passed. Unfortunately I can't tell you that based on what you have written about her, only time can tell you that. Don't be angry or show that you are angry about it, it's wasted energy.
Bialy Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 Four months a short time, unless you two are head over heels in love with each other. How old is her son? Is her ex dating someone? She has a child with him, so he will always be in the picture, for better or worse.
NopeNah Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 . I am 40 she is 25. That, in itself, could be the reason she doesn't post your pics together. Have you met any of her family or friends? 2
Author Nevadaguy Posted August 14, 2016 Author Posted August 14, 2016 The ex is not dating anyone. It's not just her posting pictures of him, it's now hiding her Facebook status of in a relationship. Yes I have met her friends. Her son is 5
kendahke Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 About a month ago I wrote my gf had posted a picture of her ex on Instagram and would sometimes go in and like his pictures. They have a son together. The picture is of him and the son on Father's Day. She will like pictures of him and the son on his Instagram, but they don't follow each other. I realized today she hid her relationship status on Facebook. She has also never posted a picture of us on Instagram. Does that seem odd? We have been together about 4 months. I am 40 she is 25. Does she like pictures of her ex when her son isn't in the picture? Does she like any of your pictures on Instagram? Does she like any of her female friends' pictures? You and she are in completely different head spaces... she's still in her 20's doing stuff 20 year olds do. You're in your 40's--instagram silliness should be off your radar by now. 1
Author Nevadaguy Posted August 14, 2016 Author Posted August 14, 2016 (edited) Yes. She likes all my pictures. She likes her friends pictures. But to post a picture of him? That's very public. I know it's Father's Day but I have never seen that done. I have friends who are divorced with kids but they don't post pics of their exes. And they don't follow each other so why is she going into his oh? Plus why would she hide her Facebook relationship status. It was public but now it is private? And have a picture of your ex but not your boyfriend on Instagram? Edited August 14, 2016 by Nevadaguy
NopeNah Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 Yes. She likes all my pictures. She likes her friends pictures. But to post a picture of him? That's very public. I know it's Father's Day but I have never seen that done. I have friends who are divorced with kids but they don't post pics of their exes. And they don't follow each other so why is she going into his oh? Plus why would she hide her Facebook relationship status. It was public but now it is private? And have a picture of your ex but not your boyfriend on Instagram? No offense,but because a 40yr old man and a 25yr old female might cause a stir in her 'inner circle'. I'm 40 also and would never date a 25yr old. I'm not judging,just stating my opinion. 4
Author Nevadaguy Posted August 14, 2016 Author Posted August 14, 2016 Ok. But she posted it first. Then hid it after a month. So why do it at all
NopeNah Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 Ok. But she posted it first. Then hid it after a month. So why do it at all Ask her. 1
Grisho Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 Why do you care what is done on social media? How does she treat you and behave generally in real life? You have only been together 4 months, and she is a mother. Her and her ex will be in each other's lives forever, because of their kid. You must have realised it was never going to be just about you and her and her kid. When you have a kid, and are split up from the dad, I'd say it's wise to be mindful of which boyfriends you make public knowledge, how (inclusive of social media) and after what amount of time. Her kid will see all of this stuff in future, and she may be trying to make sure she only makes public a relationship that has legs. It is too early at 4 months to know if the relationship is going somewhere long-term. As the kid grows up, they'll see the history of online discussion and photo comments and so on between their mother and father. If she's trying to foster a healthy friendship with her ex, inclusive of publically recognising he is a great dad, I think that's wonderful. I'm sure she'd also love to see him praising her on Mother's Day privately and publically. If she's praising him on social media, but they don't get along, and you think it's all phony to get Facebook likes and so on, then make that clearer in your posts.
Author Nevadaguy Posted August 14, 2016 Author Posted August 14, 2016 Ok. I'm not saying it's not good to praise her ex. I'm saying I've never seen this in any couple I know, being in a relationship and posting pictures of their ex. As far as Facebook, she posted the relationship status first ...so why all of a sudden hide it. It's bizarre
Grisho Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 Ok. I'm not saying it's not good to praise her ex. I'm saying I've never seen this in any couple I know, being in a relationship and posting pictures of their ex. As far as Facebook, she posted the relationship status first ...so why all of a sudden hide it. It's bizarre Facebook is completely incidental what bearing does that have on anything real? She praised her ex on Father's Day, not because it was Wednesday, not because it was a full moon, and so on and so on. He will always be the father of her kid. Do you think he's a good dad to his kid?
aileD Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 (edited) I hope this isn't offensive and I'm sorry that it will sound that way. But I can see why you are with a 25 year old. You seem very immature to be worrying and getting upset over something as innocent as this...especially after 4 mos Do you have children? Have you ever been married? How did you two get together? She is within her right and it is normal for her to post a pic of her son and his dad on Father's Day and even praise him and it seems like they have a good parental relationship which is very mature on her part. If he's posting pics of himself with HER son, it is normal for her to like them. This is what YOUNG kids do. It's normal. You didn't answer if HER PARENTS know about you. I bet they don't. That's why she's hiding her status. I don't think you'll last with her. You seem like you're going to be a little jealous and controlling in this relationship, and I think her being younger and having an ex that will be in the picture always is not going to be something you seem you're going to be able to handle. And you don't seem to care about her son. If you really did you'd be happy they have a good parental relationship Eh. Sorry. Edited August 14, 2016 by aileD Autocorrect hates me 5
ChatroomHero Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 Exact same thing happened with me and my ex fiancee. After almost 6 months, I looked and she had pictures of everyone but me...she had pictures of her sons father, took multiple pictures at every event of her with friends, just not me. After that I made it a point to get a picture of us on my birthday, she tried to avoid it completely in such away my parents made a comment. She was hiding her status with me and still talking to her ex. I figured if she was that embarrassed of me, she could go be comfortable and take all the pictures with her ex that she wanted and he could fund it. I bet if you ask her to take a picture of you and her, she'll reject it with a lame excuse and if you get one and post it, she'll make you take it down. If so, curb her.
ChatroomHero Posted August 15, 2016 Posted August 15, 2016 I hope this isn't offensive and I'm sorry that it will sound that way. But I can see why you are with a 25 year old. You seem very immature to be worrying and getting upset over something as innocent as this...especially after 4 mos Do you have children? Have you ever been married? How did you two get together? She is within her right and it is normal for her to post a pic of her son and his dad on Father's Day and even praise him I bet they don't. That's why she's hiding her status. I don't think you'll last with her. You seem like you're going to be a little jealous and controlling in this relationship, and I think her being younger and having an ex that will be in the picture always is not going to be something you seem you're going to be able to handle. And you don't seem to care about her son. If you really did you'd be happy they have a good parental relationship Eh. Sorry. I disagree here. Hiding a relationship publicly, what kind of message does that send to the son? It's one thing to like a picture because it's her son, it's another thing to do that and not have any pictures of him. I cannot think of one serious couple I know that does not share pictures of each other. I would be willing to bet she has pictures with her and her friends, her and random people she met at events...but not him. If they are in a legit relationship with him exposed to her son but she hides it, that's kind of messed up. I think I know what this guy is feeling, she could meet some random guy a party, or a guy with face paint at a football game and "just have to get a picture with him", but I have a feeling it's not that she doesn't post any pictures of him, it's that she won't take any with him. My guess she is hiding it from her ex. If they are in a true relationship that is a really bad sign and he is right to feel slighted. 1
Totallyconfusedfla Posted August 15, 2016 Posted August 15, 2016 I beg to differ If she is going in and liking pictures and they are not friends that's odd. She can ask him for pictures or just look, but liking, as innocent as it may be is her way of getting his attention. It just is. These small things end up being very telling in my experience. I also do not know of a single parent posting pictures of an ex, especially if they are in a relationship with someone new. That doesn't mean they aren't coparenting well. It means they respect the relationship as well as the ex.I know that friends have sent pictures via text saying "happy Father's Day". Here is a pic of you and the kiddo, have a great one. But never posted, especially if you say they don't follow each other. That's essentially saying come look at my Instagram Of course you should support a relationship with the father, but no matter what posting a picture of him, even with the son is odd. As fast as the Facebook status, she had it up and then hid it. In my opinion she changed her mind about wanting everyone to know. What else would it be? I never post relationship status, it just never occurred to me. I don't post city or work either, that's just me. I do post pictures. And everyone knows about who I am with. It's no secret. If I did post though on status, I sure as heck would not then go hide it.
longjohn Posted August 15, 2016 Posted August 15, 2016 About a month ago I wrote my gf had posted a picture of her ex on Instagram and would sometimes go in and like his pictures. They have a son together. The picture is of him and the son on Father's Day. She will like pictures of him and the son on his Instagram, but they don't follow each other. I realized today she hid her relationship status on Facebook. She has also never posted a picture of us on Instagram. Does that seem odd? We have been together about 4 months. I am 40 she is 25. Actions undeniably speak louder than words. From what your saying I'd be thinking because of the age gap.. is she embarrassed of me. Are you sure her ex isn't a bit on the side for her? I'd definitely ask her about the hidden relationship status. I'm always highly cautious of younger women vs older men. All too often they want a sugar daddy for a few months/years then on to the next thing.
kendahke Posted August 16, 2016 Posted August 16, 2016 (edited) Yes. She likes all my pictures. She likes her friends pictures. But to post a picture of him? That's very public. I know it's Father's Day but I have never seen that done. I have friends who are divorced with kids but they don't post pics of their exes. And they don't follow each other so why is she going into his oh? Plus why would she hide her Facebook relationship status. It was public but now it is private? And have a picture of your ex but not your boyfriend on Instagram? These are all questions you need to be putting to her, not us. You need to step back and take a long, hard look at all of this and quit ignoring what is falling out in experience at your feet. She's not emotionally done with her ex. No one who puts their ex's pictures on their instagram is emotionally done with there ex. That's just the plain truth of the matter. She is not publicly acknowledging you... not that she's obligated to--it's her choice who/what she wants to put on her social media. However, there is something about either you or your relationship that she doesn't want her circle of friends to know about. Could be your age, could be she's not serious about you. Whatever it is, you need to either have a talk with her or ghost. Perhaps you'd do better finding a woman who is closer in age to you who is emotionally free of ex's and not interested in playing these stupid attention games. And you need to quit lying to yourself--this chick really isn't as into you as you want to believe. Forget what she's saying--she can say anything and it still not be the truth--what is she DOING? What she's DOING is acting like a girl who is still hung up on her ex--and she may still be holding out for them to reconcile and be a "family" again. Don't underestimate the lure of her wanting that family vibe with her son's father. Edited August 16, 2016 by kendahke
Author Nevadaguy Posted August 16, 2016 Author Posted August 16, 2016 I will have to ask her. I have met her friends. She did have the relationship public, but suddenly went and hid it. She put it up before I did. I think she is hiding it from her ex. What else could it be. But she seems so into the relationship. However, I've seen stranger things. In my experience these little things are actually huge red flags
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