Reachingforhappiness Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 I don't want to keep repeating myself. But I lived 2 hours away from my ex, we saw each other every other weekend, as with my work/his work it made it impossible to see each other more. He broke up with me because I was receiving messages from his ex saying they were sexting, he denies it, but with the distance, i didn't fully trust him. Anyway, we've seen each other every month, maybe twice a month for the last 6 months since splitting. Spending nights together etc. When we're together it's like nothing has changed, we fall back into being a couple, he flipped out massively when he found out I'd been on a date. We'd made arrangements to see each other on 22nd-25th of this month (I left him last week after 3 days together.) But something clicked in my head when I left him. He clicks back to boyfriend mode a week before we're due to see each other, back to nicknames etc. When we are together, it's perfect, nothing has ever been that easy. He asks me to go away with him, all 'I know you too well to pretend anything else'. A guy spoke to me at the bar, just to ask what my cocktail was, and he was immediately by my side asking if everything was OK. Then I leave him, the night I leave him I get 'missing you baby', 'safe drive beautiful' etc. The next day, I get 'I'm ok thx. Have a good day' when I asked how he was. Anyway, we have plans the end of next week. I know he'll contact me, I don't want 3 days once a month, then being ignored for 2 weeks! That's what clicked, we're together or we're not. I know he'll pick not, but want to carry on in this situation, because he's got the best of both worlds. He's single, can message/sext as many women as he wants, but still has me for the times he's lonely/horny! (But freaks out when I even talk to another man, he cried when he found out id been on a date!) now my question is, do I keep what's app deleted, knowing he's going to get in touch, or do I redownload it, reply, say look this isn't working for me, you don't want a relationship so you don't get me at all?! I'm just stuck!!
NopeNah Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 At this point you've became a placeholder for him until he finds whatever it is he's looking for. I find it funny that he got upset about your date. Sounds like an insecure kinda guy.
anika99 Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 Why on earth do you need to communicate with him through an app? Why can't you just call him on the phone and tell him it's over? If you don't have his phone number then you don't mean enough to him for him to need an explanation. 2
Author Reachingforhappiness Posted August 14, 2016 Author Posted August 14, 2016 Why on earth do you need to communicate with him through an app? Why can't you just call him on the phone and tell him it's over? If you don't have his phone number then you don't mean enough to him for him to need an explanation. Through What's App! I'm just after a bit of advice as to whether to continue NC, and ignore him completely, or tell him that unless he's prepared to offer me something proper again that's it.
Devoted Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 If you still want him, I suppose re-downloading the app is a good option. But don't even bother talking to him if you just want to leave it all behind. It's not worth the time or energy to have a long drawn out chat.
DramaInPajamas Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 I wouldnt even waste my breath on a break up. Just ghost. 1
ChickiePops Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 So he gets all the benefits of being your boyfriend without any responsibilities, AND he's free to bang other people?? What an awesome situation for him! Sucks for you of course, but ideal for him! What are you doing?? 1
Blanco Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 You may be reaching for happiness, but all he's reaching for is a booty call.
JewelD Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 So he gets all the benefits of being your boyfriend without any responsibilities, AND he's free to bang other people?? What an awesome situation for him! Sucks for you of course, but ideal for him! What are you doing?? Yeah, there's no point in giving him an ultimatum at this point. Why would he agree to the title when you have already shown you are willing to give him the goods without it? Sounds like you want some confrontation but best case scenario is that he will lie and say yes to being your bf just so he can continue with the sex. He'll still mess around with other women though. A guy who sincerely wants to date you does not have to be talked into dating you. 1
whatnot Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 Why is his ex even in the picture or mentioned? How long has this guy been divorced? I was in your exact same situation. (Only I was her booty call). Yes...it's great when you are together. There is no everyday reality to deal with. If he cannot negotiate a time and place more to your liking, then you can't negotiate a time and place more to your liking. It is what it is. With no trust you got nothing. Throw long distance into the mix and you can continue as you are or you can cut bait. Two options. Your call. Good luck to you. I know the burn.
whatnot Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 (edited) I was her booty for 4 years. She just took more and more. When I began stiffening up she began pulling away even more. In the end, she was telling me of her new love interest and expecting me to be "friends". I sent her a NC text. Pissed her off. Such is the power of self-centeredness and fear. The pain eventually outweighed my fear. I was left with no alternative. I couldn't live with myself any longer the way we were living. good luck Edited August 14, 2016 by whatnot
Recommended Posts