Great first date - now what?

[mrsdarcy09]

Hi everyone!

 

I'm relatively new to Loveshack but wanted some input on a first date.

 

The context is I went out on a very random first date on Friday evening, in all honesty seeking just a casual drink or at best, something fun. Instead I ended up meeting an absolutely amazing guy. As soon as we met, the flow of conversation was incredibly natural, and we were laughing and conversing with ease. He noted to me several times during our date that he found me both physically and mentally attractive and there was some kissing and making out about 5 hours into the date.

 

He paid for the entire night and even said he wished he could move his plans the following night to see me again. He dropped me home in a taxi and paid for that too and messages after the date to tell me it was lovely to meet me and again that he found me attractive (physically and mentally) and talk the following day. I did tell him during our first date I was not looking for a casual relationship (with him that is) and I did not want to sleep with him on the first date, which he respected, though he couldn't keep his hands off me.

 

I first waited for him to message all day as he had said talk tomorrow, but then finally decided to text him the next evening to say thank you for all the drinks and dropping me home and to say I had a great time. He messaged back an hour or so after to say he had a great time too and no problems and asked how my evening was going. I responded however I am yet to hear from him.

 

He noted he was 5-6 months single and this was his first date in that time.

 

I don't know whether his lack of intensity in following up post the date is a negative sign? Is it normal for a cool off period in between?

 

Not trying to obsess but been it of the dating game a while and looking nice for some direction!

Edited August 14, 2016 by mrsdarcy09

[Larryville]

I often wonder when people talk about how they had a great first date what factors determine to you that a particular date was great?

How many first dates have you been on in your life?

[mrsdarcy09]

Enough to recognise a good one from a bad one. For me a great first date constitutes if someone is attentive, if they're not on their phone, if we talk about H one another and get to know each other, if there's physical chemistry. If the person vocalises how they felt on the date and if they talk about seeing you again. All those things were fulfilled on this date. As did the post date messages indicate he had a great time too as he explicitly said it.

 

Unless this is not a great first date and lip service?

[Bialy]

If he couldn't keep his hands off you and there was making out on the date, he was probably disappointed that he had to put you in a taxi alone.

 

I'm not a guy, but if I was, I'd be confused if someone was letting me make out and grope them, only to be told that she's not interested in a "casual relationship."

 

It sounds like he was polite, at least, when he sent you home in the cab.

[Bialy]

IMO, the mark of a good date is that it doesn't involve alcohol.

[mrsdarcy09]

Yes there was making out but not groping and I didn't allow it to escalate beyond a certain point. In fact many times, I said no I don't do that. He actually dropped me home in the cab and was with me to my doorstep. He also messaged afterwards.

 

Could he be playing it cool and keeping his options open as he'd only just jumped back into the dating scene?

 

Unfortunately we met last minute at a bar and that's why the alcohol got involved

[Bialy]

No worries. If there is a next date, you'll have a better idea of where this is headed. First dates can be weird.

 

Is this guy your coworker? If so, tread carefully! You don't want things to get awkward.

[mrsdarcy09]

Thank you!

 

He's not a colleague, but someone I met online. He'd just joined that evening and I was his first date on it. Hence why I think he may be playing the field a bit too.