imaginarium Posted August 14, 2016 Posted August 14, 2016 I just felt compelled to write this because I see so many stories on here that touch on the difficulties of dating, the red flags, breaking up, making up... And all I can do is shake my head because I'm in a relationship that has touched on all this, approaching a year, and I'm happier than I ever have been. I dated a boy when I was 16 and he was 17. We dated for 2 years, were planning to go to college together, get married, be together forever. But then I found out he was smoking weed and lying to me about it for 6 months. We started fighting a lot, I kissed another boy one night, told him, he broke up with me. 3 weeks before prom. I was going to change colleges because the one I was going to was 4 hours from home and I knew no one but him, but decided to just go with it and see what I could do. I spent 4 years avoiding him/running into him. I worked at the same place he worked 2 months after he quit (I didn't know it until he told me). His girlfriend had a class and sat next to me everyday (sucked). But I made new friends, loved college, and got over it. When I found out years later he was getting married, I genuinely felt happy he had found someone. When we became friends on Facebook, I never felt jealous of his wife or his life. The only thing I hated was I knew in his head I would always be that crazy, issue ridden, dramatic teenager, when I had worked so hard to become someone I actually liked as a person. Last year around this time I posted a picture on Facebook of one of my chickens trying to lay an egg on top of another chicken. He commented back (he also had chickens), and a few weeks later he sent me a message that him and his wife were splitting and would I want to get a drink sometime. I said sure (I'm curious, what can I say), didn't hear from him for a month, texted to ask if he was okay. Talked on the phone, and a few days later we both had a few too many and decided to meet up. He told me the first time he walked into my arms it was the closest thing he could imagine to finding a safe house. Over the following months I learned he was an alcoholic. He had dealt with a lot of addictions. His marriage that looked so happy on Facebook was actually an endless cycle of substance abuse and his wife cheating on him. I told him I wouldn't date him seriously until he was out of the marriage, so he filed the papers and found an apartment. I told him I couldn't date someone who was a bottle of whiskey in by 8pm every night. So he stopped keeping alcohol in the house and sobered up. It hasn't been easy. I've spent the last 16 years casually dating and not letting anyone in. He's spent most of them with a volatile woman he couldn't trust. I really never thought it would work. But it's been almost a year. I won't move in with him until his lease is up because I thought it would be good for him to take some time having his own space to work through everything. But he has started calling his apartment "our apartment." We work through the few fights we have, forgive each other, trust each other. I never thought I'd get a second chance but every time I see him my heart still races. We spent 16 years apart just to end up together again, finally in a place where we can be happy. So don't give up. Those ghosting online dates? Been there. Break up that's ripping you up inside? Had a few of those. 2 years of no sex because you just lost interest in relationships all together? Yep. Love is strange and fickle and takes so much work that it's ridiculous, but don't lose hope. You never know what the universe will throw at you if you're willing to take a chance. 4
bummer Posted August 17, 2016 Posted August 17, 2016 Lovely story. Could make a gritty Disney movie. I can't think of a title, but the tagline could be: Chicken's bring old hearts back together.
scooby-philly Posted August 17, 2016 Posted August 17, 2016 Agreed - nice to hear good stories on hear from time to time. As I've learned - even the wisest of us has flaws or holes in how we see things. We can't grow and our relationships can't change till we've learned the lesson(s) we needed to learn. Thanks for sharing
soyou Posted August 17, 2016 Posted August 17, 2016 Thank you so much for sharing with us such a sweet story. May you both have a long and happy lifetime together
Grisho Posted August 17, 2016 Posted August 17, 2016 I am so confused. Why are people starting to respond to this now? Am I not seeing some posts from the OP that you can all see over recent days?
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