summerlove22 Posted August 13, 2016 Posted August 13, 2016 I moved to a new city a few months ago and I met a guy who works in a bar I've started to go to every weekend. The first time I met him I thought he was very cute but we didn't really chat. The second time I went to the bar, we flirted a bit, and I got pretty drunk with my friends and I gave him my number. He texted me straight away, and asked me to wait for him to finish his shift so we could meet up. At the end of his shift he said he was too tired - it was 5am - and he said we could meet another day that week. I waited for him to text that week but he never did. He text me after a week saying he liked my profile picture but I didn't respond as I was already planning to go to his bar that night. As soon as he saw me he said jokingly - you didn't reply to my text and he was all over me all night saying how beautiful I was, telling his friends that I was the most beautiful girl in the bar, etc. At the end of the night he asked if we could go somewhere else and have a drink but I said I was too tired and would prefer tomorrow. So the next day he text me and we texted throughout the day trying to plan something, but something came up and he couldn't meet. So he said during the week we should meet. I didn't hear from him during the week, so I reached out saying hey how are you, but he didn't reply. That weekend I went to the bar with my friends again, and he was as attentive as he always is, saying how beautiful I looked, being very flirty and we talked about our interests briefly and turns out we like the same music, and he played my favourite songs all night. The next day we went to the bar again, and he acted the same as the previous night, flirting loads, being super attentive, gave me and my friends free drinks.. would play my favourite songs and say to me this song is for you, etc... When the end of the night came I just said to him so when are we going to meet, and he said to me... the thing is, I have a girlfriend, and its really frustrating for me, because I really like you. So I said ok, that explains things, and I said oh well, its a shame, and I walked away. He came after me and said it was really frustrating for him and to wait for him 2 months. I didn't know what to say, and I didn't understand why he said 2 months, so I walked away again. The following week we saw him again at his bar, and he was really flirty again, told me how beautiful I looked again... he told me wanted to get to know me, and said we would definitely meet this week. (I don't know what he's doing with his gf). I didn't hear from him again that week, so when I went to his bar with my friends the following weekend we just stopped for one drink, (he gave it to us for free), but I didn't chat to him like I always do, I only said hey how are you and that was it. I felt like I needed to back off, we left after an hour and we didn't say bye. I could feel him staring at me, and he probably thought it was very strange I didn't chat to him like always. That week he reached out to me saying he liked my current photo, and i said thanks, but he didn't carry on the conversation. I plan on taking a break from going to his bar, as its very confusing for me, cos I like him and every time I see him knowing I can't be with him hurts, I am so attracted to him and feel chemistry with him, and we have many similar interests... and it takes a LOT for me to find this with a guy, its only happened twice in my life. (FYI we are both in our late twenties) I just don't understand why he texts me things like that, or why he's so flirty with me when he sees me, if he's still with this girl. I don't know if he plans on ending things with her, and I don't know why he said wait for me 2 months a few weeks ago. What should I do?
DramaInPajamas Posted August 13, 2016 Posted August 13, 2016 How would you like it if another woman flirted with your bf the way you are doing with this guy? That poor woman. Her bf is cheating on her, if not physically but emotionally. If he does break up with his gf and you get him, dont congratulate yourself too much. You will have got yourself a lying cheater as a bf. Also if he cheats with you, he will cheat on you. He is no prize. 2
Author summerlove22 Posted August 13, 2016 Author Posted August 13, 2016 I have backed off since I found out he had a gf, I didn't know before... But I did say to him, you're not in love with her are you, and he said no, that they've only been dating a short while. So I don't really know what he plans on doing with her
JewelD Posted August 13, 2016 Posted August 13, 2016 Bc he's a cheater and he doesn't care about either one of you. Are you actually considering waiting 2 months? Have some pride and move on. And stop going to that bar. If you knowingly involve yourself in some chicanery like this, bad things will happen to you.
DramaInPajamas Posted August 13, 2016 Posted August 13, 2016 I have backed off since I found out he had a gf, I didn't know before... But I did say to him, you're not in love with her are you, and he said no, that they've only been dating a short while. So I don't really know what he plans on doing with her You've backed off and yet here you are on loveshack asking what to do. The hell you have backed off. 3
Gr8fuln2020 Posted August 13, 2016 Posted August 13, 2016 I have backed off since I found out he had a gf, I didn't know before... But I did say to him, you're not in love with her are you, and he said no, that they've only been dating a short while. So I don't really know what he plans on doing with her People who are or about to cheat will certainly not tell you that he/she is in LOVE with the other person. By say NO, they keep YOU interested and hopeful. Another thing...you really should take everything he has to say with a grain of salt. He's trapped you emotionally and that's what he wants. He knows you like him and, sorry to say it, you are ideal FWB material and he's targeting that. Based on your post, he is a PLAYER. 1
phineas Posted August 13, 2016 Posted August 13, 2016 Pro-tip op, If he does it with you while he has a GF, he will do it to you if you become his GF. 1
Lorenza Posted August 13, 2016 Posted August 13, 2016 It seems that many girls get wrong ideas about guys who "would leave their girlfriend for them". They think that it means that they are so irresistible, beautiful and make that other girl pale in comparison, but don't take in consideration that it says nothing good about a guy who played behind someone's back. Try to have some solidarity and imagine how that other girl would feel, maybe that will help you realize this guy is not worth a thought.
Zahara Posted August 13, 2016 Posted August 13, 2016 OP, if he's doing this behind his gf's back, don't you think he'll do the same to you? Just because he spews words to stroke your ego, don't for one minute think you're so special and he'll never do it to you. Plus, he works in a bar -- do you think you're the one and only woman he's blown smoke up the arse? 1
Sunkissedpatio Posted August 13, 2016 Posted August 13, 2016 I just don't understand why he texts me things like that, or why he's so flirty with me when he sees me, if he's still with this girl. I don't know if he plans on ending things with her, and I don't know why he said wait for me 2 months a few weeks ago. What should I do? Because he is going to feed you some sob story about how he and his g/f don't get along anymore, what a monster she is, and he was thinking of ending things anyway. And he will string you along long enough to get in your pants and once he does and gets that out of his system he will start thinking about his ex-girlfriend and what a mistake he made for leaving her. You think you have problems now? Wait until you sleep with him. You'll be writing about how he changed, how he ignores you when you go to he bar. Or he dumps you for his ex and you have 0 chance at getting him back because he already got what he wanted. Or worse yet, he does dump his ex and realizes he is now free and can have all the girls in the bar "he calls the most beautiful girl in the bar" You think you are the only girl he is saying this to? You may be Saturday or Friday but he has a "most beautiful girl" for Monday-Sunday.
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