sandylee1 Posted August 16, 2016 Posted August 16, 2016 I feel terribly ancient reading your first post, because I ALWAYS expected a man to date only me once he'd asked me out. Quite frankly if he's interested in dating others, then I don't see the point of asking me out at all. To me, you date one person and if you don't want to take it further, then you end it with them and move on to the next person. I used to focus (before marriage) on one relationship at a time. Of course I can take it slow within the relationship, but I couldn't be sleeping with more than one man at a time. Times have surely changed.☺
Author Zeo828 Posted August 16, 2016 Author Posted August 16, 2016 Sandy Lee I agree with you. It's just I was the one who got asked out in this situation. I am willing to get to know her slowly, I just don't know her or know how I feel about her yet. What if someone else asks me out tomorrow, am I suppose to say no because I have been on 2 dates with someone else? Of course ideally I want to focus one 1 person, it's easier!
morrowrd Posted August 16, 2016 Posted August 16, 2016 I had that happen to me before, except it was a step above that. Texting on a dating site and she was disappointed I was texting others. My rule of thumb is to do as you please, less information about your dating habits is just fine in the beginning. I've dated three women at once, not that I recommend that. (I don't, its hard when all three are texting you at once, keeping each conversation separate) There is some common sense here, and that is to not play games with other people's lives. Go out, talk, have fun together, but we ALL know when things begin to get to the point where we know they should be exclusive, and it should be established without anyone feeling guilty or awkward. I believe that once any type of intimate affection starts happening, you should make it about that one person. Affection starts a bonding process, and its unfair to go down that path if you really don't have intentions about making a relationship out of it.
Charmed22 Posted August 16, 2016 Posted August 16, 2016 Sandy Lee I agree with you. It's just I was the one who got asked out in this situation. I am willing to get to know her slowly, I just don't know her or know how I feel about her yet. What if someone else asks me out tomorrow, am I suppose to say no because I have been on 2 dates with someone else? Of course ideally I want to focus one 1 person, it's easier! That would really be up to you. I can usually tell after one date if someone is worth more. Another person has to sweep me off my feet or have much more to offer than the person I am currently dating for me to break things off and give them a chance. I have turned down other dates while dating someone. If it dosent workout with the person I'm dating I don't regret the dates I turned down. Timing is everything and most of the time the guys I turned down aren't that great in comparison.
sandylee1 Posted August 16, 2016 Posted August 16, 2016 Sandy Lee I agree with you. It's just I was the one who got asked out in this situation. I am willing to get to know her slowly, I just don't know her or know how I feel about her yet. What if someone else asks me out tomorrow, am I suppose to say no because I have been on 2 dates with someone else? Of course ideally I want to focus one 1 person, it's easier! Well you're a lucky man getting asked out by a woman. I know it's the 21st century, but still. Do you often have girls ask you out? Yes, I understand your predicament if someone else asked you out, you don't want to miss out on what could have been. Did you not know her at all before she asked you out?
Author Zeo828 Posted August 16, 2016 Author Posted August 16, 2016 (edited) I don't get asked out much by women, but I work in a public building so in my 10 years at work 4 women have asked me out. This girl would just come in and one day she put her cards on the table and asked me out. I'm touched and I did call her because she seemed nice and cute. I just am careful with people's feelings. I even told her so and she said " look, if things don't work out, I'll be sad, but I'll move on and find someone else." She basically said don't worry about her. So I'm in a situation where I want to get to know her, as long as it's slowly. I'm wiling to just date her, as dating too many women is confusing, I agree. She likes me because she says I'm cute, I'm very nice to her and people in general ,and I'm not pushing for sex. Which, as mentioned in another post, is never my goal when I date. I'm too sensitive to have sex and run. I like the simple life, which is meet a nice girl, enjoy the small things together and as she said "to find some one to love and give love to." On,y thing is I don't know her and I want to take things slow. At first she scared me because I thought she was going to be a clingy and move fast. But she has proven me wrong and it might have just been a communication breakdown. Another concern is that she is from a Western European countr. She been here for 20 years. However, sometimes there is a cultural barrier. She has an accent but she's studying to be a nurse. As long as she gives me time to see how I feel and see if things can grow, then fine. And I think she understands that's what I want and need. And I think she wants that too. Even after we first kissed I reminded her that we are taking things slow and she shook her head yes. Believe me, no sex until we are sure we are right for each other. But in short. I'm used to seeing a woman, going after the woman and going from there. In this case I was asked out and I don't know how I feel about the person so I want to be careful and kinda make sense of it all. So far it's ok. We'll see. Edited August 16, 2016 by Zeo828
Author Zeo828 Posted August 17, 2016 Author Posted August 17, 2016 Sorry for the double post. I called her tonight to talk. And over the phone her Eastern European accent and attitude comes off as so harsh. She used the f word so much in describing things. I don't think it's a voice or language I want to hear all the time. I'm no prude but geez how many times do I have to hear the f word from a woman's mouth when she is simply making observations about the world. And especially the f word with a soviet accent. It's kinda a turn off for me, and this is what I mean about me being apprehensive. I just don't like the language but it's her right to talk as she wants. But I just don't like it. After a 40 min convo I said I had to go as I felt tired and she said "sure, you,just don't want to talk to me." And I asked her directly "are you mad?" And she started laughing and said "no, I'm only jk, why do you take what I say so seriously?" And I'm thinking " I don't know, you sound like a robotic Russian spy. Your inflection doesn't change unless you laugh. ". I don't think it's a voice or language that I can stand for a long time. We'll see. When I meet her she looks so bashful, but over the phone she comes off as different.
lillymae1010 Posted August 17, 2016 Posted August 17, 2016 Crazy is a harsh word. She's probably trying to avoid being hurt from something that happened in her past and now getting involved again is scary for her because that means being vulnerable to more pain. I believe woman especially have a difficult time with this and so we often will try to define things too soon to avoid the uncertainty.
Charmed22 Posted August 17, 2016 Posted August 17, 2016 (edited) I have the tone of voice that tends to come across as being harsh as well. I am american though. I have also been told that I can come across as harsh and upset while texting as well. Its something the guy I'm currently dating has said to me. Sometimes he dosent know if I am upset or not. Its something I will suggest will pass within time. As you get to know her better you will be able to tell when she is upset and when she is not. As for using the fword just let her know that you don't really like that word being tossed around casually like that. She should be able to try and not use it as often. Edited August 17, 2016 by Charmed22 1
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