PinkDotsXOXO Posted August 13, 2016 Posted August 13, 2016 Thanks in advanced for all your help! For the sake of this thread I will call my ex "Jake". Jake and I were in a relationship for a year on and off. When Jake and I broke up the final time, we continued to act like we were together (sleeping, together cuddling etc) When Jake met someone new he very harshly told me he was done with me and no longer wanted to talk to me. Finally, I was able to move on and recognize that life goes on whether I'm with Jake or not and that I could live without him. I gave Jake lots of space and didn't talk to him for about 2 months. Fast forward to present day. Jake has been with the girl he left me for for 3 months. Out of the blue something reminded me of Jake and it has been a pretty tough week at work that I decided to text him and we've been texting for the past few days. Today we talked on the phone. Jake has told me that he is trying to convince himself that talking to me is okay even though he knows his girlfriend would be upset. Jake also told me not to mention that we talked to anyone. My question is what are his motives? I would like a friendship with Jake or maybe even more although he probably would do the same to me that he is doing to his girlfriend. Jake is 26 and I am 27.
leogirl876 Posted August 13, 2016 Posted August 13, 2016 Sounds like he's trying to have his cake and eat it too. He wants to keep his current girlfriend, and keep you on the side just in case. Don't talk to him and move on. He became a huge jerk to you as soon as he found a replacment, do you really want that in someone?
Gaeta Posted August 13, 2016 Posted August 13, 2016 (edited) Jake also told me not to mention that we talked to anyone. My question is what are his motives? I would like a friendship with Jake or maybe even more although he probably would do the same to me that he is doing to his girlfriend. Jake is 26 and I am 27. You are both playing with fire and will get burnt. Jake knows you used to have strong feelings for him and he is just trying to see if he could revive some of those and this only to stroke his ego. Jake has no feelings for you, you are the one who contacted him Edited August 13, 2016 by Gaeta
Lorenza Posted August 13, 2016 Posted August 13, 2016 You have downgraded from a girlfriend to someone he secretly talks to behind his current girlfriend's back. Just move on and don't reach out for his "friendship". Over is over and you don't need his breadcrumbs. 1
Author PinkDotsXOXO Posted August 13, 2016 Author Posted August 13, 2016 Thank you all for your replies. And just to clarify to the op I am currently single.
Gaeta Posted August 13, 2016 Posted August 13, 2016 Him contacting you behind his girlfriend's back and asking you to tell no one should show you what a cheater-liar-deceptive man he is. 3
stillafool Posted August 13, 2016 Posted August 13, 2016 Thanks in advanced for all your help! For the sake of this thread I will call my ex "Jake". Jake and I were in a relationship for a year on and off. When Jake and I broke up the final time, we continued to act like we were together (sleeping, together cuddling etc) When Jake met someone new he very harshly told me he was done with me and no longer wanted to talk to me. Finally, I was able to move on and recognize that life goes on whether I'm with Jake or not and that I could live without him. I gave Jake lots of space and didn't talk to him for about 2 months. Fast forward to present day. Jake has been with the girl he left me for for 3 months. Out of the blue something reminded me of Jake and it has been a pretty tough week at work that I decided to text him and we've been texting for the past few days. Today we talked on the phone. Jake has told me that he is trying to convince himself that talking to me is okay even though he knows his girlfriend would be upset. Jake also told me not to mention that we talked to anyone. My question is what are his motives? I would like a friendship with Jake or maybe even more although he probably would do the same to me that he is doing to his girlfriend. Jake is 26 and I am 27. The question you should be asking is "What am I doing". This guy previously told you harshly that he was done with you and no longer wanted to talk to you. He is in a relationship with another girl for 3 months and you called him. He is even more disrespectful by telling you not to tell anyone which means he does not want his girl to find out. Why are you bothering with someone else's boyfriend? You are begging him to hurt you. 2
elaine567 Posted August 13, 2016 Posted August 13, 2016 He broke up with you, then he demoted you to fwb, then dumped you when another woman came along, now he sees you as an OW. Do you have no respect for yourself? He is a first class user and you are letting him walk all over you, as no doubt you "love" him. But what is there about him really to love? Stop sabotaging yourself. Tell him to take a hike.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted August 13, 2016 Posted August 13, 2016 OP. YOU ARE BEING USED. He wants you as a side-line FWB. You already were in that role and when he found someone better, he turned on you! Now, you are engaging in behavior that can only be described subversive and selfish. You are in contact with a cheater and you are encouraging him to do so by contacting him and keeping it under the radar from his current gf.
aileD Posted August 13, 2016 Posted August 13, 2016 Yup. He's trying to determine if he can use you the same way he used you after you "broke up". He was in the limerence part of the new relationship for those two months but now that he's starting to settle into real life with a girlfriend, you're an option again. Save yourself
Bialy Posted August 13, 2016 Posted August 13, 2016 The real issue is that you don't have any emotional support system and want your ex to fill that role. He can't. He won't. You need family and friends as your support system -- NOT someone who has moved on and is taking pity on you. 1
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