operationaudio Posted August 13, 2016 Posted August 13, 2016 Morning everyone, I know this is going to probably sound ridiculous because it has been such a small amount of time compared to break ups that other people are going through, but i feel like this is so hard and that today i am really going to struggle with it. I first met this guy last year, we dated for a few months and in the end I walked out because he always seemed like he never cared. I really felt like i had fallen for him and the uncertainty of how he was going to act towards me was too much and i felt like i couldn't do it anymore. I have had relationships since then (one for 7 months) and i never could replicate the way i felt about him. I have never been attracted to someone the way i have with him and excited to be around him, despite most of the time him making me feel like crap...i know, doesn't make sense! We got back in touch after a few months, just txting here and there. When i broke up with my boyfriend though, it became more full on and we actually met up and ended up spending the night together. Since then we've been chatting every day and have spent more time together. Unfortunately all the same traits he had last year are still there! He could go from txting me all day every day to suddenly being distant. He would suggest plans we could do but then be awkward about actually arranging a day to do them. As a result i have become insecure, obsessive about him replying to me and anxious all the time about whats going on! This has come to a head now. The last couple of times we hung out he was txting here and there while we were out. I noticed it was a girls name and looked her up on facebook. She lives the other side of the country so i didn't think much of it. I had a chat with him when i saw him the other day basically saying that it's not my business but if he's sleeping with other people as well as me then i'm not into it. Which he should know about me anyway! He seemed surprised i thought he was, although didn't come out and say he wasn't. But carried on acting the same with me and asked if i wanted to go away one weekend with him. Now this weekend guess where he is going away to!? The county where she lives! I feel this is way too much of a coincidence and have shut everything down now. I haven't replied to his txts, removed him off social media and deleted his messages. I feel sick knowing that he's probably there with her now and can't seem to distract my mind to anything else. We're meant to be going away for the night together next week and i'm dreading the next txt from him because i don't know how to react! I have bugger all plans today either so even take my mind of it! Sorry for such a long post, it felt good to get it written down. Jo
elaine567 Posted August 13, 2016 Posted August 13, 2016 People who are interested, act interested. You dumped him because it seemed like he never cared for you, so what has really changed? Whether or not this guy is interested or not (and I doubt he is), his style of dating/forming a relationship is not compatible with you. You are now anxious, insecure and miserable, when you should be on cloud nine. Dating should to be easy and fun, not full of angst, worry and feeling bad about yourself. Yes, it is too much of a coincidence he is gone to where his fb "friend" lives, so what are you going to do about it? YOU cannot mould people into who you want them to be. That love story you have written in your head about this guy is not reality, recognise that and go look for a better prospect. Why are you self sabotaging by sticking like glue to a guy who is just not into you? Why are you doing that to yourself? Stop it. 1
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