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Will my husband be ordered to pay child support when his kids live with his mom ?

Reysa09

By Reysa09
in Marriage and Life Partnerships

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Reysa09 Member

Reysa09

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My husband is filing for child support for his kids mother (2 kids ages 8 and 6). The children have been living with HIS mother for the past 3 years. My husband and I have been living together for 10 months, and we have a 4 month old. He makes good money and provides his mother with funds for his kids. Their mother doesnt provide for them financially at all. My husband and his mother have been the primary caretakers of these children for years, being the fact that CPS was involved with the mother. Will he be ordered to pay child support as well as the mother? What could he expect at the initial negotiation hearing ?:confused::confused::confused::confused:

Mr. Lucky Established Member

Mr. Lucky

Posted
Posted
My husband and his mother have been the primary caretakers of these children for years, being the fact that CPS was involved with the mother. Will he be ordered to pay child support as well as the mother? What could he expect at the initial negotiation hearing ?:confused::confused::confused::confused:

 

Who currently has legal custody, your H or his mom? And if it's not your H, why is that?

 

And who specifically is filing for support?

 

Not sure why you're concerned if he's already providing her funds...

 

Mr. Lucky

ChickiePops Established Member

ChickiePops

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Why don't his kids live with their father?

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standtall Established Member

standtall

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1.Well...where do you live, and who has legal custody?

2. Never, ever go to court in this situation without an attorney...you will get fried.

anika99 Established Member

anika99

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A decent man should want to support his children. Why are they living with his mother and why isn't he already paying towards their care?

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ShatteredLady Established Member

ShatteredLady

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We need more information.

 

If his children aren't allowed to live with him for some reason it's not likely that a judge would give him custody right now. He will have to prove that the reasons he wasn't deemed fit to care for his kids no longer exist.

 

Has the mother always wanted custody but removed from their lives for legal reasons?

 

There are just too many unknowns here. Why have the children spent so much of their lives living with their grandmother? Do the courts know that they live there or is their father supposed to be caring for them?

TunaCat Established Member

TunaCat

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There has to be a really good reason why your husband's kids are not living with their father and YOUR husband.

 

Not trying to beat a dead horse here, but clearly I'm not the only one wondering why the kids aren't living with their dad.

 

Who has custody and if it's not your husband, why is that?

  • 2 weeks later...
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Reysa09 Member

Reysa09

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Sorry, this is a previous question and I didn't answer some unanswered questions on my own post.

 

 

Just a recap :

 

 

My husband is putting his kids mother on child support. The children are ages 8 and 6. He doesn't know for sure if his daughter belongs to him. (name isn't on B.C.). My husband and I have been living together for about a year now. I have a 7 year old and we have a 5 month old in the household.

His children have been living with HIS mother for about 3 years. Prior to us living together he was living with his mom and him and his mother switched up caring for the kids (because of his work hours). His mother wants to care for the kids. I personally think the kids should live with us so that's why I told him it would be smart to put the kids mother on child support being that the kids do not live with her. She comes and goes when she pleases...drops them off with his mom when she doesn't feel like caring for them. CPS was involved a few years ago when she had primary care of the children.

My husband and his kids mom doesn't have good communication. Now that she knows shes getting put on child support, she registered them for school (for the first time ever) and she has the kids Monday-Friday for school and drops them off with his mom on weekends. CUSTODY HAS NOT BEEN ESTABLISHED, but my husband and his mother have been the primary caretakers of the children.

 

 

 

 

I DO NOT know what to expect at the child support hearing being the fact she NOW has the children during the week. We cannot afford a lawyer. Keep in mind this is the primary child support hearing, and my husband is NOT on one of the kids' birth certificates.

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Reysa09 Member

Reysa09

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SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO REPLY ....Prior to us moving in together he first was out of state and the kids mom had primary custody. (CPS got involved and grandma stepped in until my husband came back home), he moved back in with his mother and they shared responsibility (his mom was helping because of his work hours). The kids jump from house to house, from his moms house, to their other grandmas house, to their mothers home (she lives with her father)....Custody has not been established but I know for a while my husband and his mom have been the primary caregivers of these kids. When he moved in with me, the kids remained at his mothers house.

 

 

KEEP IN MIND: My husband isn't sure if one of these kids belongs to him (as his name isn't on the birth certificate)

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Reysa09 Member

Reysa09

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A decent man should want to support his children. Why are they living with his mother and why isn't he already paying towards their care?

As I stated he PROVIDES his mother with funds, clothes, etc....

ChickiePops Established Member

ChickiePops

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SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO REPLY ....Prior to us moving in together he first was out of state and the kids mom had primary custody. (CPS got involved and grandma stepped in until my husband came back home), he moved back in with his mother and they shared responsibility (his mom was helping because of his work hours). The kids jump from house to house, from his moms house, to their other grandmas house, to their mothers home (she lives with her father)....Custody has not been established but I know for a while my husband and his mom have been the primary caregivers of these kids. When he moved in with me, the kids remained at his mothers house.

 

 

KEEP IN MIND: My husband isn't sure if one of these kids belongs to him (as his name isn't on the birth certificate)

 

1. If he has been parenting the child up until now, he's the kids father, genes or not. I hope he wouldn't abandon the child just because he may not share blood with them.

 

2. Ok, so your husband is back home right? Why don't the kids ever come to stay with you?

 

3. Why hasn't he attempted to establish custody? You're making him sound like quite the deadbeat dad...would you like to correct this or is it true?

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Reysa09 Member

Reysa09

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1. If he has been parenting the child up until now, he's the kids father, genes or not. I hope he wouldn't abandon the child just because he may not share blood with them.

 

2. Ok, so your husband is back home right? Why don't the kids ever come to stay with you?

 

3. Why hasn't he attempted to establish custody? You're making him sound like quite the deadbeat dad...would you like to correct this or is it true?

 

 

 

1. No I don't think that he would abandon her, but there is another man involved in the girls life that believes she may belong to him. The fact that the woman lied knowing the little girl belongs to someone else is beyond me.

 

 

2. My husband lives with ME. The kids do come over from time to time but they do not live with us (THE REASON WHY I TOLD HIM TO FILE IN THE FIRST PLACE) *Custody and Child Support

 

 

3. He is attempting to establish custody...will he be awarded being the fact that he isn't the paternal father of one of the children...or being the fact that the mother NOW has her kids (all of a sudden because she doesn't want to pay).

 

 

 

 

How can he be a deadbeat when he is providing for his children ?

Edited by Reysa09
ChickiePops Established Member

ChickiePops

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Posted
1. No I don't think that he would abandon her, but there is another man involved in the girls life that believes she may belong to him. The fact that the woman lied knowing the little girl belongs to someone else is beyond me.

 

 

2. My husband lives with ME. The kids do come over from time to time but they do not live with us (THE REASON WHY I TOLD HIM TO FILE IN THE FIRST PLACE) *Custody and Child Support

 

 

3. He is attempting to establish custody...will he be awarded being the fact that he isn't the paternal father of one of the children...or being the fact that the mother NOW has her kids (all of a sudden because she doesn't want to pay).

 

 

 

 

How can he be a deadbeat when he is providing for his children ?

 

I don't understand what your question is?

 

I assumed your husband lived with you..you said he was away. When I said home I meant back with you, as I assumed 'away' meant not with you.

 

Throwing money at kids doesn't make him a good dad. Spending time with them does. The way you speak about him makes it sound like he rarely sees them.

 

Why haven't they taken a paternity test yet?

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Reysa09 Member

Reysa09

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I don't understand what your question is?

 

I assumed your husband lived with you..you said he was away. When I said home I meant back with you, as I assumed 'away' meant not with you.

 

Throwing money at kids doesn't make him a good dad. Spending time with them does. The way you speak about him makes it sound like he rarely sees them.

 

Why haven't they taken a paternity test yet?

 

 

 

My husband does live with me. I said PRIOR to us living together he was out of state, then came back and started living with his mother. He takes care of his kids. Emotionally, physically and financially. He is putting the mother on child support is because he wants SOLE CUSTODY. Whats so confusing about that ?

 

 

I guess the reason why he hasn't taken a DNA is because hes scared of the results.

 

 

My question is, what should we expect at the initial court date ?

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Reysa09 Member

Reysa09

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My husband does live with me. I said PRIOR to us living together he was out of state, then came back and started living with his mother. He takes care of his kids. Emotionally, physically and financially. He is putting the mother on child support is because he wants SOLE CUSTODY. Whats so confusing about that ?

 

 

I guess the reason why he hasn't taken a DNA is because hes scared of the results.

 

 

My question is, what should we expect at the initial court date ?

 

 

 

Not only that, but the kids have been living with him and his mother for the past 3 years because the kids were going to get taken by the state when they were in physical custody of their mother. The reason they don't live with us is because I want to make sure he gets sole legal and physical custody and makes her pay child support because she hasn't been providing for the children AT ALL. HE has been the one registering them for school, taking them to the DR. ETC...and now that she knows shes getting put on CS, shes trying to keep her kids MON-FRI and STILL dropping them off with his mom EVERY WEEKEND.

BlueIris Established Member

BlueIris

Posted
Posted
Not only that, but the kids have been living with him and his mother for the past 3 years because the kids were going to get taken by the state when they were in physical custody of their mother. The reason they don't live with us is because I want to make sure he gets sole legal and physical custody and makes her pay child support because she hasn't been providing for the children AT ALL. HE has been the one registering them for school, taking them to the DR. ETC...and now that she knows shes getting put on CS, shes trying to keep her kids MON-FRI and STILL dropping them off with his mom EVERY WEEKEND.

 

She is taking care of them M-F and I'd think normally Dad would have the other time, not their grandmother.

 

But back to the CPS issue- Who was investigated and what was the outcome? What triggered the investigation?

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Reysa09 Member

Reysa09

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She is taking care of them M-F and I'd think normally Dad would have the other time, not their grandmother.

 

But back to the CPS issue- Who was investigated and what was the outcome? What triggered the investigation?

 

 

 

So they would award her custody being the fact that she RECENTLY decided she wanted to be a mother to her kids ?

With that being said , this is going to turn into a fraudulent case being the fact his mother is receiving state benefits for those kids, and my husband and his mom have been filing the children on their tax returns !

 

 

CPS was involved with the kids mother because she would drop them off at HER moms home and she would send the kids to school dirty, their grandmother didn't have a decent bathroom for them to wash, no refrigerator or stove, his son wasn't going to school (got left back a year). They were going to get taken into state custody until my husbands mother stepped in and took them. My husband was out of state at the time, and moved back in with his mom when he found out.

MJJean Established Member

MJJean

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The person awarded child support will be the person who ends up with legal primary custody. At this point, it could be the kids mother, the kids grandmother, or you and your H. It will really depend on what the judge decides after hearing the evidence. Frankly, there is an argument for each of the adults involved getting custody and how the judge will decide is anybody's guess.

  • Like 2
BlueIris Established Member

BlueIris

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Thanks for the explanation for how CPS came in.

 

Use your state’s online child support calculator to figure who would pay what. Be sure to include childcare and health insurance.

He’d do better to start parenting on the weekends (him, not you or his mom) and pay CS to the Mom on the 5/2 schedule for a year.

He should learn to talk to the kids’ Mom productively. Courts aren’t sympathetic to parents who can’t communicate or who point fingers rather than looking at their own parenting, or who seek more time only to have their spouse or parents do the parenting.

If the children have been on state assistance, in some states he might be ordered to reimburse the state for past assistance to the kids since he hasn’t been paying support for 8 years.

If I were you, I’d do a brutally honest assessment of the past 8 years and your husband’s ability and willingness to parent before deciding.

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Reysa09 Member

Reysa09

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Ill tell you what will end up happening in that case. The MOM will try to put my husband on child support, being the fact she keeps the kids Mon-Fri...and drop the kids off at his moms eventually and they'll start going to school from there, like it was before. I just don't think she should be awarded custody period. She's unfit, she spends more money on herself than her kids. She doesn't have her own home, and she doesn't love her kids enough to make sure they have their basic living necessities. Mind you CPS was already involved when the kids were in her care before. My husband is the one filing for support, not her.

Edited by Reysa09
Lois_Griffin Established Member

Lois_Griffin

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With that being said , this is going to turn into a fraudulent case being the fact his mother is receiving state benefits for those kids, and my husband and his mom have been filing the children on their tax returns !

And THAT'S the real reason his kids don't live with you. Because the tax-payers are supporting them as long as the state has placed them in someone's home who isn't the parent. Are the state benefits about to stop so he's now going to make his ex pay child support?

 

Just because he's filing for support doesn't mean he'll get it, nor does it mean he'll be awarded 'sole' custody. That's what lawyers are for.

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