JewelD Posted August 13, 2016 Posted August 13, 2016 So I've known this guy in my program at school for a little while but I never really hung out with him like that until this past week. I always thought he was attractive but never really did anything because I wasn't interested in dating at the time. So we hung out as friends and we discovered we like each other. The problem is, he graduated this summer and moved back home about 10 hours away. He won't be able to come back to visit until October (financial reasons). I'm honestly not opposed to long distance at this point in my life just because I'm really focused on school, this being my last year and all. I just would have liked to have a real legit date beforehand. But a month and a half is a long time. Whether this works out or not, I probably wouldn't be dating anyone where I live right now, so I don't feel I'm limiting myself by talking to this man at all. So i guess I'm just wondering, for anyone who's been in a similar situation, what are some ways to keep it 'fresh' so to speak until we see each other again? Should we not communicate with each other as often? Should we just continue as we are?
DramaInPajamas Posted August 13, 2016 Posted August 13, 2016 So he has moved home and you are there for another year? Waiting a month and a half and then what? He goes home again and when do you see him after that? Want a LDR? Just be normal with him for now.
gorf Posted August 13, 2016 Posted August 13, 2016 I probably wouldn't be dating anyone where I live right now, so I don't feel I'm limiting myself by talking to this man at all. You already know the answer. You wont be dating anyone? No, you probably wont. And followed up by you dont know how you feel about limiting yourself to talking to him. And etc dates in a few months maybe, etc etc. This is the problem with LDR. There are a lot of things that have to happen to make them work. A lot more than your typical physical relationship. I would find someone in the area you can focus on, and let him go
Author JewelD Posted August 13, 2016 Author Posted August 13, 2016 You already know the answer. You wont be dating anyone? No, you probably wont. And followed up by you dont know how you feel about limiting yourself to talking to him. And etc dates in a few months maybe, etc etc. This is the problem with LDR. There are a lot of things that have to happen to make them work. A lot more than your typical physical relationship. I would find someone in the area you can focus on, and let him go If I did date anyone, it would be long distance from where I'm from. I honestly wouldn't date anyone out here because I prefer to date people from my own race and we are a minority on this campus. About 2%. and most of that 2% are undergraduates who are too young for me to be dating. It's been two years, it's not going to happen with anyone out here and I'm okay with that because it would still be long distance when I move back home in May and they're still out here. I'm not limiting myself because I wasn't actively searching for a date when I started hanging out with this man and I don't plan on actively searching for dates if we don't work out. I added that part for the people who would advise me to "date someone in your town". It's not really an option, although I didn't say I would be promising myself to this man entirely. LDR and physical relationships both have their pro's and con's but I'm not against either one because my career may turn any physical relationship I have into an LDR at different points anyway.
mortensorchid Posted August 13, 2016 Posted August 13, 2016 Have you heard from him since he left? If you haven't, it's a done deal.
Author JewelD Posted August 13, 2016 Author Posted August 13, 2016 Have you heard from him since he left? If you haven't, it's a done deal. Yes, we talk everyday.
MissBee Posted August 13, 2016 Posted August 13, 2016 What do you mean keep it fresh? You never went on a date and he's 10 hours away...seems fresh already...as in this is absolutely new and hasn't even started up or been a thing yet. In my mind fresh is more for relationships where you see each other all the time or live together so it can become routine or stale. In fact, a big part of the plus of long distance, especially for folks with commitment issues, is that it is like perpetual freshness because you only see each other rarely so it's always more exciting than if you see each other daily. Continue as you are and see how it goes...don't put the cart before the horse I'd say. See how it goes.
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