Author Terry8889 Posted August 15, 2016 Author Posted August 15, 2016 The truth is I haven't been successful finding a decent man either. All the guys I met in the past were only interested in sex and bc I didn't give it to them they just left me, others were too immature, others were interested in me but I didn't like them, etc. I liked this one bc he doesn't have any cigarette, alcohol, party habits. He is an active member of church, educated and that is what I wanted for me and the possible children. We also had tons of things in common so I thought it was worth fighting and waiting for him, I hoped one day he'd realize what he needs in his life is me. So when he came back things were going great this time, I felt he was genuine and wanted to stay with me for good. He said he thought he has found his life partner that he liked me and loved spending time with me, we never had sex though he wanted to wait for marriage. He said we will just wait for things to fall into place and we will get married and I will move in with him in his house. Everything was going perfect until I met his parents and they got involved. But while everything was perfect with him, other things were going bad in my life like I suddenly had to move out of my apartment bc the landlord had his house going to foreclosure, I couldn't find a place fast enough and I had to move in with a friend and her two small kids. At the same time my very old car broke down, had to be junked and I had to find and buy another one. I didnt have a place to store my stuff and my father denied his help to store some of my stuff in his living room until I find a place, etc. Idk if that could also have contributed to this mess. Idk if he told all this to his parents and they assumed I am just a heavy baggage that they don't want their son to take and deal with. I also feel like I cant take care of myself but this things that happened were outta my control. I don't have my own home, I don't have a nice new car, I'm still finishing up school. All these things have an impact on my self steem too, I wish I could have more good things going on in my life but all my life I've had to struggle even to get to where I am now. My past was worst in terms of financial stability. I feel like I do my very best and still can't get higher and reach the point what I want to be.
Author Terry8889 Posted August 15, 2016 Author Posted August 15, 2016 I know I am a fool but I've never been this depressed for a man before. His parents comments totally crushed my soul.
Graceandpeace35 Posted August 15, 2016 Posted August 15, 2016 Dear Terri I am so sorry you are going through this. I remember going through some difficult situations like this a long time ago. From what you have said, this guy is not good news. He is obviously playing with your emotions. A healthy relationship is built on mutual trust, communication and honesty. I see none of those things here. You need to move on dear sister. A human being cannot fill all your needs, nor can they give you self worth. You already are worthwhile because you are loved by and made in the image of God. Jesus is there and wiling to meet all your needs. He loves you so much He died for you. Turn to Him, He can rescue your heart. I encourage you to read the book of John from the Bible. The Lord God rescued me when my life was full of sadness and destruction and He loves you dear sister. God bless you 2
Grisho Posted August 15, 2016 Posted August 15, 2016 I know but I can't be in peace, I can't get closure, a conclusion. I would've preferred that he told me "you know what I can't deal with the pressure I'm sorry but I'm gonna take my time to sort things out in my life..." thats it but his silence is killing me inside. So should I just not contact him ever again? His behaviour is repugnant and abusive. You're kept at the level of almost being enough, but never entirely. The silence is abusive in this example, because he knows he is causing you concern by behaving this way. Loving partners don't do this. People with healthy mental health don't do this. Get rid of him, and focus on activities to build your self esteem. Get involved in your local community, where people will appreciate you for your talents, and you'll learn how teamwork really feels. It would be really good if you could volunteer at a women's refuge, so you could learn how dangerous men like yours can become. 1
NoMoreJerks Posted August 15, 2016 Posted August 15, 2016 My bf also told me he would rather commit suicide than having to go back to the dating world again Wow. Well, besides the issue of suicide... look at what he's saying: that he would've considered it, if he knew he would get lucky??? So he's "settling for you" because his dating experience was bad. Basically, he's saying you are not good enough.... for him to stand up to his parents, or for him to consider remaining with you irrespective of what the dating world looks like for him... I'd ditch his sorry ass ,and tell him to go ask his parents to find him a mate since they're so demanding and he seems to be quite in tune with their opinions. 1
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