I really just don't get it, but asking for clarification would be self-defeating.

[phi_one_zero]

Just when I thought it was safe to make occasional references to past relationships in my blog, because the individuals referenced couldn't possibly still be reading it (after all, that would be a little bit creepy after all this time, considering that they have lives of their own that I would hope they've gotten on with)...

 

 

"i have no business writing you, and i am well aware that you hate me (something only compounded by my contact). our faith in each other was based on something that existed in our hearts alone and not reality. however, i feel that there is too much hate in the world as it is, and I have to thank you for helping to understand who i am and what i need. we would never have made each other happy, despite every attempt to the contrary. but, I would not be who I am today if i had not met you. i hope that you and your family are happy and healthy. take care of yourself. i will never forget you."

 

 

"Hate" is far too stong of a word. I really don't hate anybody. But she knows damn well that I want nothing to do with her, and she still feels it necessary to send these e-mails every few months that don't say anything that she hasn't said before, as though repetition might make me forget that she's a pathological liar and actually believe her this time.

 

I mean, seriously. What the hell?

[lindya]

Originally posted by phi_one_zero

Just when I thought it was safe to make occasional references to past relationships in my blog, because the individuals referenced couldn't possibly still be reading it (after all, that would be a little bit creepy after all this time, considering that they have lives of their own that I would hope they've gotten on with)...

 

I don't really understand the fascination for blogs. Writing them, sure - but reading other people's? , unless the blogger has a particular talent for writing and is leading an unusually interesting life then surely in most cases nosy/nostalgic/resentful/torch-carrying (take your pick) exes would the be ONLY likely audience.

[moimeme]

I don't really understand the fascination for blogs. Writing them, sure - but reading other people's? , unless the blogger has a particular talent for writing and is leading an unusually interesting life then surely in most cases nosy/nostalgic/resentful/torch-carrying (take your pick) exes would the be ONLY likely audience

 

I have to agree. How boring/sad must your life be if you spend time reading other's online diaries about their mostly lame lives and thoughts?

[cleebie]

I have to agree. How boring/sad must your life be if you spend time reading other's online diaries about their mostly lame lives and thoughts?

 

 

Is it just me or does no one else see the irony here?

 

How boring/sad must your life be if you spend your time writing a blog on a forum, namely the world wide web!, then moan that other people can read them.

 

If you are bothered about others reading them, just do what normal people do and write your thoughts in a normal diary that you keep by your bed which stays private and stop moaning about it.

[lindya]

Originally posted by cleebie

Is it just me or does no one else see the irony here?

 

How boring/sad must your life be if you spend your time writing a blog on a forum, namely the world wide web!, then moan that other people can read them.

 

It's not just you - but it's just you who thought it needed to be pointed out

[moimeme]

Is it just me or does no one else see the irony here?

 

No irony at all. This isn't a blog. There's a difference - which seems to be news to you. And I ain't moaning.

[lindya]

Originally posted by moimeme

No irony at all. This isn't a blog. There's a difference - which seems to be news to you. And I ain't moaning.

 

I don't think she's talking about you, Moimeme. I think it's more a case of "why go to the trouble of setting up a weblog, then complain about your ex reading it?"

 

The only conclusion I can form is that the OP posts comments about her - the ex, that is, not Cleebie - (or whoever he meant when he said he was posting information about past relationships) primarily as a means to soliciting "unwanted" emails that he can then reject with righteous indignation.

 

For whatever reason, the ex is pandering to this by still sending the occasional friendly email. Silly, perhaps - but hardly meriting the OP's description of "creepy".

[phi_one_zero]

Originally posted by lindya The only conclusion I can form is that the OP posts comments about her - the ex, that is, not Cleebie - (or whoever he meant when he said he was posting information about past relationships) primarily as a means to soliciting "unwanted" emails that he can then reject with righteous indignation.

I paused for a moment to consider whether this is true on some subconscious level, and I don't think it is. This is the post that I believe triggered the email. It's the only post I've made in months that could possibly be construed as being about her:

 

 

It's been a long time since I've had sex. Although I haven't actually done the math, I'm pretty sure this has been my longest dry spell ever. Or, at least, since losing my virginity. And I am absolutely certain that, if it hasn't already exceeded my last embarrasingly long dry spell, it will. By a lot.

 

I've said before in this journal that I'd rather spend the rest of my life alone than risk getting involved with yet another pathological liar. As far as serious relationships go, they're all I've ever known (unless you count meaningless flings, which I haven't had many of anyway). Either I only attract pathological liars, or I'm only attracted to pathological liars, and I'm not sure the distinction between those two possibilities really matters. The point is, my aversion to taking that risk is just as strong now as it was a year ago.

 

Last time I went this long without, I wanted my dry spell to end, and the sooner, the better. This time, the longer it goes, the less I care. I'm not bothered by the fact that it may continue for years. Maybe even for the rest of my life.

 

But I am bothered by the fact that I'm not bothered by it. Because I'm pretty sure that's not normal. And possibly not healthy.

 

It's weird, though. The only person I've had sex with that I truly remember fondly, with no bitterness, distrust, or ill will whatsoever, is a girl with a reputation for preying on guys who were on the rebound after nasty breakups. Not exactly a model citizen. But, her questionable motives aside, I think she was exactly what I needed at the time. That counts for something.

 

 

It's really not about her at all. I did not in any way single her out. It's about multiple exs and a disturbing common thread I've noticed in many of them. In order for her to take it personally, she would have to make a pretty big assumption, which might happen to be correct, but it's still an assumption.

[westernxer]

This reminds me... I need to write in my offline journal.

[lindya]

Originally posted by phi_one_zero

I paused for a moment to consider whether this is true on some subconscious level, and I don't think it is.

 

Ok - gotta go, but just quickly (and I'll read any response tomorrow). What's the motivation for keeping an online blog? Does the ex know about it because you told her, or do you post your identity? I'm just wondering if you wouldn't be better taking a leaf out of Westernxer's book and keeping it offline - or have you created a sort of chatroom style blog that other people post on?