meeji Posted August 12, 2016 Posted August 12, 2016 I went to the bar, started chatting with a guy. He was charming and cute, respectful yada yada. He invited me to go to the lake with him so he picked up our tab and we left for the lake. His apartment was right around the corner so stopped there so he could pee on the way. I noticed his home studio so we got to talking about music. He broke out his guitar and we had a jam session. Then he broke out the tequila and we went back to music. We eventually end up cuddled on the couch and then in his bed for a hot makeout session. I didn't feel like this guy had that plan all along and I didn't. I felt like we had a good vibe going and we both felt comfortable around each other so things happened. Here's the thing.... Twice while were were rolling around he invited me to stay the night. I kinda got up unexpectedly and started getting my stuff together and he looked sad to see me go. He walked me out and we said good night, the end. I was kinda drunk and tired so I wanted to go to bed, plus I had work the next day. We didn't exchange numbers and I'm kicking myself for that. First question is how do you I find this with next to no information... Second, I have never done anything like that before. I'm not into hookup culture at all. I thought it was weird that he had asked me to stay over when we just met. Do guys do that when they're hooking up with a girl and its casual or do they only do that with girls they like? I think because I decided to go he probably thought I didn't want to see him again so he didn't bother getting my info. I thought that he probably hooks up with girls often and if he didn't ask me for it, it meant he wasn't interested. He is on Tinder but he just moved here. He said it's hard to meet people. Ugh... I'm trying to reconnect with him and I don't know to find him. I got on tinder hopping we would see each other. Suggestions? oh, and I guess I need you guys to tell me some the do's and don'ts of hooking up because I dropped the ball apparently.
leogirl876 Posted August 12, 2016 Posted August 12, 2016 He invited you to the lake, and you ended up in his bed? I'd say that was his plan all along. Lose him!
joseb Posted August 12, 2016 Posted August 12, 2016 Of course it was his plan all along. But so what? Hes going to try to seduce her if he's attracted to her and he's got some confidence. OP, I'm not sure I understand about the no info. Has he unmatched you on tinder or something? 1
Lois_Griffin Posted August 12, 2016 Posted August 12, 2016 Oh PLEASE. He had to stop at his place to go to the bathroom? And that just magically morphed into a night of tequila and making out in bed? LOL. Naive girls like you are EXACTLY what he's looking for at the bar. He didn't get your number because dating you isn't what he had in mind. 4
kingkong Posted August 12, 2016 Posted August 12, 2016 you know where he lives. trust your gut. in the end, it's all about communication.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 12, 2016 Posted August 12, 2016 Oh PLEASE. He had to stop at his place to go to the bathroom? And that just magically morphed into a night of tequila and making out in bed? LOL. Naive girls like you are EXACTLY what he's looking for at the bar. He didn't get your number because dating you isn't what he had in mind. All of this. And for heaven's sake, OP - please be more careful! At the risk of sounding like your mother, you could have potentially put yourself in a very dicey situation. If I understand correctly, you just randomly met this guy in a bar and agreed to go off to a lake with him? Not smart.
Author meeji Posted August 12, 2016 Author Posted August 12, 2016 Of course it was his plan all along. But so what? Hes going to try to seduce her if he's attracted to her and he's got some confidence. OP, I'm not sure I understand about the no info. Has he unmatched you on tinder or something? No. We did not meet on tinder. We met by chance at the bar. He said he was on tinder so I signed up hoping to find him there.
SevenCity Posted August 12, 2016 Posted August 12, 2016 Oh PLEASE. He had to stop at his place to go to the bathroom? And that just magically morphed into a night of tequila and making out in bed? LOL. Naive girls like you are EXACTLY what he's looking for at the bar. He didn't get your number because dating you isn't what he had in mind. This is correct - men don't urinate...especially after drinking. It's a lie that we've all agreed to say in order to take advantage of women. Have you ever been into a men's bathroom? No urinals - just porn. Few women know this so please don't tell them you heard it from me! The fact of the matter is whether he tried to "bed" you or not, he did have interest in you. The question is was that interest in a "hookup" or did he have a deeper connection with you? Read the thread about "Do guys have more respect if a woman waits for sex". Many posters (not me) say a lot of their long term RLs started with sex on the first date. I agree it's not the best idea to go back to a stranger's place - you should be smarter. But you can't automatically assume that sex was all he wanted. If it was offered, yes, he's a guy, he would have taken it. I'm sure it won't be too hard to locate his house (depending on how drunk you were) and leave him a note on his door. Clarify his intentions before passing judgement. 1
Author meeji Posted August 12, 2016 Author Posted August 12, 2016 Yeah, I know it sounds sketch as #/&! But.. I honestly didn't feel like his master plan was to get me in his bed. We live in an area that's very outdoorsy do going to lake isn't unusual. I don't have any regret about what happened. I did not feel taken advantage of or used, objectified. He was very respectful of my boundaries and I wasn't pressured to do anything I didn't want to. I had a good time and he was sweet. I think he probably thought that all I was looking for was a good time, got what i wanted and left. I think it's was a miscommunication, mostly on my part. Yes some creeps use women but some girls do the same to men. I'm just looking for ideas on how to reconnect wit him. I don't remember exactly which apartment is his
Author meeji Posted August 12, 2016 Author Posted August 12, 2016 Oh PLEASE. He had to stop at his place to go to the bathroom? And that just magically morphed into a night of tequila and making out in bed? LOL. Naive girls like you are EXACTLY what he's looking for at the bar. He didn't get your number because dating you isn't what he had in mind. Everyone has to pee when they've been drinking. It was actually my fault for picking up the guitar. It was all over once that broke out. I don't know if I agree with this. I feel like he wanted me to stay and I chose to leave. Why would he ask to see me again of I'm half way out the door? I didn't think it was appropriate to stay over since we just met but I should have let him know that I'd be down for it after we got to know each other. I didn't give him any indication that I was interested in seeing him again and that was due to the alcohol wearing off and me being tired. I just wanted to go home and go to bed.
SevenCity Posted August 12, 2016 Posted August 12, 2016 Everyone has to pee when they've been drinking. It was actually my fault for picking up the guitar. It was all over once that broke out. I don't know if I agree with this. I feel like he wanted me to stay and I chose to leave. Why would he ask to see me again of I'm half way out the door? I didn't think it was appropriate to stay over since we just met but I should have let him know that I'd be down for it after we got to know each other. I didn't give him any indication that I was interested in seeing him again and that was due to the alcohol wearing off and me being tired. I just wanted to go home and go to bed. You at least know the street his complex is on, yes? Why not drive there during the day (or at the time you were there) and see if anything rings a bell. It's possible that he's thinking "WTF???". I know I would be. If I was clicking with a girl and she ran out of my place after heavy making out not even getting my number I would think she's using me, nuts, or about to file rape charges. Guys RARELY say no to sex with new partners. That doesn't mean it's all we want all the time. Asking you to stay over seems to lean towards more interest. If I'm just looking for a hookup, the last thing I want to do is wake up next to her that morning - how uncomfortable.
Author meeji Posted August 13, 2016 Author Posted August 13, 2016 You at least know the street his complex is on, yes? Why not drive there during the day (or at the time you were there) and see if anything rings a bell. It's possible that he's thinking "WTF???". I know I would be. If I was clicking with a girl and she ran out of my place after heavy making out not even getting my number I would think she's using me, nuts, or about to file rape charges. Guys RARELY say no to sex with new partners. That doesn't mean it's all we want all the time. Asking you to stay over seems to lean towards more interest. If I'm just looking for a hookup, the last thing I want to do is wake up next to her that morning - how uncomfortable. im glad you agree. i wemt with my gut feeling that day and no alarms went off. i think he geniinely liked me amd i messsed it up. i walked near his place today. there'sone building that looks familiar i stuck a note with my email on it. hopefully, its the right one. im feeling pretty hopeless about it now. this just might be one of those lessons that ill just have to swallow.
Author meeji Posted August 19, 2016 Author Posted August 19, 2016 I eventually gave up on him and started accepting date requests again.. and what do you know.. BAM he shows up on my tinder shortly after. I sent him a facebook message with my phone number . He hasn't read it yet. I'm kinda over it now. If he contacts me great, if not that's fine too.
Fuerza Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 I eventually gave up on him and started accepting date requests again.. and what do you know.. BAM he shows up on my tinder shortly after. I sent him a facebook message with my phone number . He hasn't read it yet. I'm kinda over it now. If he contacts me great, if not that's fine too. Did you guys match? Because if you didn't, that's a clear sign he's not into you.
grays Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 Did you guys match? Because if you didn't, that's a clear sign he's not into you. Only if he's seen her profile, but for all we know he hasnt been looking at tinder.
LB2016 Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 I'm thinking if we was that interested, he would have made it a point to get your phone number. I know it's SOOOO very hard to, but right now I think it's best to let it go. If you're meant to reconnect, then you will. If not, then it wasn't meant to be. It's as simple as that, really but again- so extremely hard.
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