Guy's bedroom is a complete mess every inch filled with clutter

[BikerAccnt]

My EX-GF was like this. She even resorted to sleeping on the couch because her bed was covered with clothes. Not dirty clothes mind you, just clothes she had no room for.

 

Her spare room was a clutter filled mess as in general was her house. Not really messy per se, just extremely cluttered with stuff. A bit of a hording tendancy I think.

 

She however, was always immaculate. Done up, well dressed and clean.

 

I think it's usually indicative of some type of unresolved problem. I know that for my ex, she couldn't bear the thought of sleeping in the same bed she and her ex husband shared. Why, instead of buying a new bed set, she resorted to this, I could never get out of her.

[DramaInPajamas]

This guy I had been dating, I walk into his bedroom and OMG, barely any carpet can be seen because almost every inch of open space was littered with trash, junk and dirty laundry. Even there was some trash bags laying around in the bedroom. His pillow had a huge yellow circle stain on it making me wonder the last time he bothered washing his bedsheets and pillowcase.

 

The adjacent bathroom from the bedroom was a disgusting mess. Papers all over, paper bags of trash, lots of paper bags shoved in a corner etc. Small things that needed to be thrown out and replaced.

 

After mentioning on a few different occasions about getting his room cleaned up, he told me there a spare bedroom that was worse!

 

On the outside, he seems to have it all together and seems to be a great guy. He lives with a friend who keeps the rest of the house tidy. If it wasn't for him, who knows what the rest of house would look like.

 

I eventually broke things off. I refuse to date a complete slob. A little clutter here n there doesn't bother me. Life gets busy. But a chaotic mess is a deal-breaker for me. On top of that, he prefers to be sweatin' his butt off than using a fan to keep cool on the hottest days of summer to "save money". He seems to be the type of person to care about others and put their needs first before his own.

 

Oh well. only he can help himself. We are still on friendly terms. I just worry as he gets older that he may have a slip n fall accident then breaking his hip especially if he is living alone. He isn't a "spring chicken" Older people are more prone to falls.

 

I would have refused to stay there.

 

sleeping in a dirty bed and washing in a dirty bathroom.....hell no.

 

FWIW my bedroom is cluttered. However there are some neatly stacked boxes in the corner containing shoes that dont fit in my wardrobe. Clothing over the back of the chair: I can be lazy about hanging things up. The tops of my dressers are cluttered and my bed isnt made. It could do with a good tidy up but I stress it is not and never is dirty. My clothes and my towels and my sheets are changed regularly and washed and I would never leave garbage on the floor.

 

It would be a deal breaker for me with no effort to at least try and clean regularly.

[DramaInPajamas]

I missed the bit about age, etc.

 

Is it possible he is a hoarder?

[ChattyKat]

My EX-GF was like this. She even resorted to sleeping on the couch because her bed was covered with clothes. Not dirty clothes mind you, just clothes she had no room for.

 

Her spare room was a clutter filled mess as in general was her house. Not really messy per se, just extremely cluttered with stuff. A bit of a hording tendancy I think.

 

She however, was always immaculate. Done up, well dressed and clean.

 

I think it's usually indicative of some type of unresolved problem. I know that for my ex, she couldn't bear the thought of sleeping in the same bed she and her ex husband shared. Why, instead of buying a new bed set, she resorted to this, I could never get out of her.

 

Strange she wouldn't get rid of it if sleeping on it was would be an issue. I think he may have unresolved issues too. I do know his mother passed away years ago. If they were close and if he never bothered dealing with his grief, it could be a reason behind his extreme messiness in the bedroom and bathroom.

 

I missed the bit about age, etc.

 

Is it possible he is a hoarder?

 

Maybe a low-grade hoarder. He's wasn't much of a shopper bringing stuff into his home. I never peaked in the other bedroom so can't describe what it looked like. All he told me it was worse than the current state of his bedroom. Yikes!

 

Whatever he did bring into the home, much of it would end up laying around on the table or in his bedroom/bathroom. His car was also always somewhat of a cluttered mess with papers, water bottles & junk that needed to be taken care of.

[Michelle ma Belle]

This thread makes me wanna go home and straighten up my bedroom.

 

Ditto.

 

I actually love watching Hoarders on TV for that reason alone; it scares the sh*t out of me that I might turn out like that one day and it drives my need to declutter and clean my house like a beast!

[JoeSmith357-1]

I dated a girl like this, went back to her place and it was a WTF moment... complete pigstye, dishes piled up, stuff covering the floor, clutter, boxes everywhere.

 

Just like the OP, I still had sex with her, but damn...

[blackcat777]

I have to wonder what goes on inside people's minds... the whole inside mirroring outside microcosm/macrocosm thing.

 

That and I had a severely mentally ill family member that was incapable of taking out the trash... more than once a year. Emphasis on severely mentally ill.

[DramaInPajamas]

I dated a girl like this, went back to her place and it was a WTF moment... complete pigstye, dishes piled up, stuff covering the floor, clutter, boxes everywhere.

 

Just like the OP, I still had sex with her, but damn...

 

But how could you have sex in a dirty home and on sheets that havent probably been changed in a while?

 

I've gone back to someones place before and though OMG so untidy. But it was untidy but clean. Just the usual clothes need hanging up, etc.

 

Getting naked and having sex in a dirty bed, used the dirty bathroom after? How could you both have done it?

[LookAtThisPOst]

My EX-GF was like this. She even resorted to sleeping on the couch because her bed was covered with clothes. Not dirty clothes mind you, just clothes she had no room for.

 

Her spare room was a clutter filled mess as in general was her house. Not really messy per se, just extremely cluttered with stuff. A bit of a hording tendancy I think.

 

She however, was always immaculate. Done up, well dressed and clean.

 

I think it's usually indicative of some type of unresolved problem. I know that for my ex, she couldn't bear the thought of sleeping in the same bed she and her ex husband shared. Why, instead of buying a new bed set, she resorted to this, I could never get out of her.

 

I think a lot of people have that ONE room that's cluttered up. Be thankful the rest of the house is clean. Some people use said room as an area to put all their crappy when they clean the rest of the house.

 

Have to give credit to this one woman who dated a hoarder and proactively cleaned his house for him! Not sure some would consider that pathetic or labor of love? ?

[LookAtThisPOst]

I think a lot of people have that ONE room that's cluttered up. Be thankful the rest of the house is clean. Some people use said room as an area to put all their crappy when they clean the rest of the house.

 

Have to give credit to this one woman who dated a hoarder and proactively cleaned his house for him! Not sure some would consider that pathetic or labor of love? ?

 

Forgot to add...she was in the daycare industry for about 30 years...so it would make sense she'd have no problem after cleaning up after someone...it's in her blood. lol. Probably would be considered a keeper.

[luna97]

My boyfriends place was pretty bad too. Not quite as bad as I'm imagining OP's description, but he didn't have places for things and hated the thought of throwing things away. I actually took a few hours to tidy up his mess while he was away (with his permission of course,although he was a bit hesitant)

 

It's a lot better than it used to be. But now, when I find things laying around or starting to build up again, he gets annoyed when I mention it or offer to help him. He says he can't find anything when I organize stuff.

 

Frustrating, I'm trying to help him and make it easier for him.

[MissBee]

Ughh eww I could never!

 

It's one thing to be untidy, I mean, my room gets quite untidy and my desk, and sometimes I may have a cup or two from drinking something or a plate, but it's not an accumulation of filth. I also know to clean up especially if I have a date coming over. That's the most shocking part to me...the lack of awareness. I am aware of when my apartment is untidy (it's never filthy) and think gee let me clean up if I'm having company, and if I have a date I may invite back I'm washing the sheets and cleaning up. Folks who actually invite people over in their filth and don't seem at all shy about it scare me because it then seems like they genuinely see nothing wrong.

 

I dated one guy was very messy and borderline filthy, but not quite...it bothered me and I cleaned up once but got pretty tired of him having ALL the dishes in his home dirty and collecting mold and things like that...I think it reflected his emotional state too. Then with my last bf, he was fine, but we visited his brother once and I was legitimately horrified at the condition of his house. I didn't want to sit or touch anything. I remember really needing to pee and saying I would just use the bathroom...I almost ran out :sick: his brother is very attractive and I'm sure many women like him but I was really curious about if he ever cleaned up and how would any sane woman come back to his place and have sex in the filth...but I guess for some they may overlook it.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Ughh eww I could never!

 

It's one thing to be untidy, I mean, my room gets quite untidy and my desk, and sometimes I may have a cup or two from drinking something or a plate, but it's not an accumulation of filth. I also know to clean up especially if I have a date coming over. That's the most shocking part to me...the lack of awareness. I am aware of when my apartment is untidy (it's never filthy) and think gee let me clean up if I'm having company, and if I have a date I may invite back I'm washing the sheets and cleaning up. Folks who actually invite people over in their filth and don't seem at all shy about it scare me because it then seems like they genuinely see nothing wrong.

 

I dated one guy was very messy and borderline filthy, but not quite...it bothered me and I cleaned up once but got pretty tired of him having ALL the dishes in his home dirty and collecting mold and things like that...I think it reflected his emotional state too. Then with my last bf, he was fine, but we visited his brother once and I was legitimately horrified at the condition of his house. I didn't want to sit or touch anything. I remember really needing to pee and saying I would just use the bathroom...I almost ran out :sick: his brother is very attractive and I'm sure many women like him but I was really curious about if he ever cleaned up and how would any sane woman come back to his place and have sex in the filth...but I guess for some they may overlook it.

 

 

Yeah, if the place looks like he**, at least clean up if you have a date coming over. lol.

[SammySammy]

My ex was like that. Her mother always cleaned up after her. Even as an adult, her mother would follow behind her picking up and cleaning.

 

She thought that, since I was a neat freak, I would do the same. Nope. I'm gonna leave your ass. That's what I'm going to do.

[Shanex]

This guy need a maid right?

 

I always clean my bedroom, make my bed, open my window after a night sleep, clean the sheet every week. Spray deodorizer and can't stand being in such a mess you describe for an evening and a night.

 

I've known some friends like that and the arguments with their mom's were always amusing. Bums.

[Grisho]

I got to know someone a few years ago, and we had been building a lovely friendship over cups of tea and cocktails in a variety of favourite locales, when I received a spontaneous invite to dinner at his home (with the idea we'd buy it en-route, then go to his home together).

 

The image I was faced with, upon him opening his front door, is burned into my memory. You enter his flat directly into the hallway, and every room leads off the hallway. From the front door, you can see into every room, apart from the bathroom, since the door is always closed, despite there being no window in there.

 

My experience was "enhanced" somewhat, by the fact he never turns off his lights, so any comfort I might have drawn from the darkness of the natural evening light shielding me was, alas, not to be.

 

Every window was wide open. There were insects flying all over, and walking across the walls and ceilings. The floors were covered in the man's hair, dust, general filth like chunks of mud and grass from shoes and food and cigarette packets and anything that might ordinarily live in a wardrobe or cellar. The air was thick with the smell of grease, cooked fish and tobacco.

 

During our walk to his home, I had mentioned needing the toilet, which he mentioned, and swung over the door to the bathroom (naturally, lights permanently on there, too). The walls and ceiling of the bathroom, and the shower curtain, were covered in fungus and mould (he never airs or dries out the bathroom - the heat and moisture on the walls are a permanent "feature").

 

I couldn't believe the sight before my eyes, and wouldn't go into the apartment. I explained why, and he took it all in jest and suggested we eat in a restaurant instead.

 

Unfortunately, this is not where my story of the ins and outs with his flat ends.

 

His mother, who lived on another continent, took suddenly ill, so he flew to her side, and left me with keys, and asked me to take care of mail, parcels, and any visits to the flat from the electricity supplier and so on. Before she took ill, he had organised a travel visa for his mum in the coming month, and the thought was she would get better and then come to stay with him afterwards for a while as planned previously.

 

She was very, very ill, and it was looking like she may die soon, but he was convinced she would regain her strength and be able to make the visit.

 

I ummed and arred about her potential visit, and decided she'd be horrified to see how he was living, and also be in danger from any bacteria present in his flat.

 

I cleaned the whole flat from top to bottom. You won't be surprised that there was not 1 item for cleaning in that flat when I decided this. Some things were beyond any normal cleaning material, and I had to ask chemists I know what to try, and posted pictures online (usually of fungus and bacteria) to crowd-source suggestions that I hadn't already tried.

 

As it happens, she never made it to visit him, and he got a total shock when he saw his flat looking like a show home. NB all he had to then do was maintain it; all the leg work had been done.

 

Within 1 week, it returned to it's normal state, and I've never seen it since, since he assures me he still does no cleaning at all.