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Guy's bedroom is a complete mess every inch filled with clutter

ChattyKat

By ChattyKat
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ChattyKat Established Member

ChattyKat

Posted
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This guy I had been dating, I walk into his bedroom and OMG, barely any carpet can be seen because almost every inch of open space was littered with trash, junk and dirty laundry. Even there was some trash bags laying around in the bedroom. His pillow had a huge yellow circle stain on it making me wonder the last time he bothered washing his bedsheets and pillowcase.

 

The adjacent bathroom from the bedroom was a disgusting mess. Papers all over, paper bags of trash, lots of paper bags shoved in a corner etc. Small things that needed to be thrown out and replaced.

 

After mentioning on a few different occasions about getting his room cleaned up, he told me there a spare bedroom that was worse!

 

On the outside, he seems to have it all together and seems to be a great guy. He lives with a friend who keeps the rest of the house tidy. If it wasn't for him, who knows what the rest of house would look like.

 

I eventually broke things off. I refuse to date a complete slob. A little clutter here n there doesn't bother me. Life gets busy. But a chaotic mess is a deal-breaker for me. On top of that, he prefers to be sweatin' his butt off than using a fan to keep cool on the hottest days of summer to "save money". He seems to be the type of person to care about others and put their needs first before his own.

 

Oh well. only he can help himself. We are still on friendly terms. I just worry as he gets older that he may have a slip n fall accident then breaking his hip especially if he is living alone. He isn't a "spring chicken" Older people are more prone to falls.

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CollegeKid101 Established Member

CollegeKid101

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Makes sense.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Redacted full quote of starting post
Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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eewwww, can't imagine his personal hygiene !

carhill Established Member

carhill

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OP, some people are like that. Ha, we were helping out a pack rat only this past weekend move tons of clutter out of one garage of a house he was going to rent to, nope, not his house but into the garage of a neighbor's house. I don't think I've ever heard his wife raise her voice before this weekend but she was visibly exasperated :D

 

OTOH, he built both houses, the rental and the one they live in next door, with his own hands and, among other things, designed the rocket engines for the early space program, mainly Gemini and Apollo. Yeah, that moon thing. So, life is a mixed bag and, at 82, he hasn't tripped over his stuff and fallen to his death yet.

 

Still, IMO, good call. If the clutter bugs you, bug out. It's your life.

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SevenCity Established Member

SevenCity

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Wow, this guy sounds like anti-me.

 

I seem to always be the neat on in my RLs. Messes drive me insane.

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AMJ Established Member

AMJ

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Two of my old roommates were like this! I was always in such disbelief at how beautiful hair, faces, well put together outfits could emerge from a complete disgusting disaster of a room. Not to mention how and why the guys they dated seemed to not care at all that these women were complete disgusting slobs. Both came from privileged homes and were used to having maids pick up after them.

 

So one time this girl brings a guy home from Tinder. Her bed wasn't made- as in there were no sheets, just a naked mattress (ew), she had makeup and hair products, dirty dishes, dirty clothes, shoes, whatever all scattered all over her bedroom floor. So bad that you can't walk in there. I was impressed because this guy actually gave her crap for it. He still slept with her in her super messy room, but she finally started to clean it up and make her bed after that. It's not like she was young and didn't know better, this is a 32 year old woman. So pitiful but a little bit hilarious.

 

Same roommate dated another guy for five months before ever going to his house. I told her that was such a bad idea, clearly he was hiding something. I've only dated one guy who was messy. Mostly I've met more messy women than men.

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ChattyKat Established Member

ChattyKat

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eewwww, can't imagine his personal hygiene !

 

He actually kept himself well-groomed. Although some of his clothes were worn out. He had bought new shirts but never wore them and continued to wear the old shirts.

 

Wow, this guy sounds like anti-me.

 

I seem to always be the neat on in my RLs. Messes drive me insane.

 

anti-me??? What do u mean there?

 

Two of my old roommates were like this! I was always in such disbelief at how beautiful hair, faces, well put together outfits could emerge from a complete disgusting disaster of a room. Not to mention how and why the guys they dated seemed to not care at all that these women were complete disgusting slobs. Both came from privileged homes and were used to having maids pick up after them.

 

So one time this girl brings a guy home from Tinder. Her bed wasn't made- as in there were no sheets, just a naked mattress (ew), she had makeup and hair products, dirty dishes, dirty clothes, shoes, whatever all scattered all over her bedroom floor. So bad that you can't walk in there. I was impressed because this guy actually gave her crap for it. He still slept with her in her super messy room, but she finally started to clean it up and make her bed after that. It's not like she was young and didn't know better, this is a 32 year old woman. So pitiful but a little bit hilarious.

 

Same roommate dated another guy for five months before ever going to his house. I told her that was such a bad idea, clearly he was hiding something. I've only dated one guy who was messy. Mostly I've met more messy women than men.

 

Wow!!! So what happened with the guy your roommate dated for 5months? Maybe women are seen as more messy since they have more stuff and typically are the ones that like to shop

ASG Established Member

ASG

Posted
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I once went back to a guy's house and the room and the bathroom were such a mess it put me off him completely. I mean we still slept together, but I could never imagine returning to that house. And since in all subsequent contact he'd always say "come over", not even "lets meet somewhere", I always begged off. And lost interest.

 

I mean... I'm no neat freak and at this exact moment there is a pile of clothes on my bed, water bottles are scattered, there are a couple pairs of shoes on the floor and a few theatre tickets that fell out of the wall... It's not TIDY, by any means... but you can walk around freely without being afraid of stepping on something and it could be tidy in 10 minutes. Places where you can't even see the floor for the mess... that's a big no no for me!

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AMJ Established Member

AMJ

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Oh they were both nuts and split up for different reasons. He was hiding the fact that he lived with his mom though. Idk I've had tons of roommates and just found lots of women to be slobs, which goes against all stereotypes I know.

 

I can usually understand a certain level of messiness in a guy's house. But it's more the type of messy as in, he needs to straighten up his kitchen. Not like, my roommates who literally lived all the time with piles of stuff blanketing their floors, never putting clothes away, leaving dirty dishes in their room for days- ugh. So glad I don't live with roommates anymore :)

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preraph Established Member

preraph

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Funny you said older people are more prone to fails like that. I was just about to say if he's still in his 20s, he still might change. Or not. I was a slob as a teenager and young lady, but I soon learned that rather than having to clean every inch every time I had someone coming over, to just not mess it up leaving anything ever lying around. It made my life so much easier. I never leave anything laying around unless you count my messy desk! So I avoid house cleaning, which I loathe for the most part, by not messing it up. But I think if you have an inequity about it, one is neat and one is not, rather than fight about it, chip in on a housekeeper.

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Aniela Established Member

Aniela

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eewwww, can't imagine his personal hygiene !

 

I can be messy, but I shower twice a day, use deodorant, wash my hair, love body wash...

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Aniela Established Member

Aniela

Posted
Posted
Two of my old roommates were like this! I was always in such disbelief at how beautiful hair, faces, well put together outfits could emerge from a complete disgusting disaster of a room. Not to mention how and why the guys they dated seemed to not care at all that these women were complete disgusting slobs. Both came from privileged homes and were used to having maids pick up after them.

 

So one time this girl brings a guy home from Tinder. Her bed wasn't made- as in there were no sheets, just a naked mattress (ew), she had makeup and hair products, dirty dishes, dirty clothes, shoes, whatever all scattered all over her bedroom floor. So bad that you can't walk in there. I was impressed because this guy actually gave her crap for it. He still slept with her in her super messy room, but she finally started to clean it up and make her bed after that. It's not like she was young and didn't know better, this is a 32 year old woman. So pitiful but a little bit hilarious.

 

Same roommate dated another guy for five months before ever going to his house. I told her that was such a bad idea, clearly he was hiding something. I've only dated one guy who was messy. Mostly I've met more messy women than men.

 

She slept with him after he shamed her? Ugh. I would have shown him the front door.

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longjohn Established Member

longjohn

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What a slob, I wouldn't stick around like that. I couldn't live that like. My house (even if I had nothing again), my appearance, my car etc are all reflections of me and my family. To live like a pig that would be disrespectful in many ways to the woman that raised me. Now she was drill Sgt like in discipline at times and for very good reason. I'm not saying that's the proven method but growing up being lazy or a slob = pain and pain is an excellent motivator :laugh:

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SevenCity Established Member

SevenCity

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anti-me??? What do u mean there?

 

 

 

 

Meaning my opposite. I've gotten better but I used to clean my small apartment back in the day for like 6 hours on Saturdays.

 

Since my ex moved out my house is much cleaner - despite her cleaning once a week.

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ChattyKat Established Member

ChattyKat

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Funny you said older people are more prone to fails like that. I was just about to say if he's still in his 20s, he still might change. Or not. I was a slob as a teenager and young lady, but I soon learned that rather than having to clean every inch every time I had someone coming over, to just not mess it up leaving anything ever lying around. It made my life so much easier. I never leave anything laying around unless you count my messy desk! So I avoid house cleaning, which I loathe for the most part, by not messing it up. But I think if you have an inequity about it, one is neat and one is not, rather than fight about it, chip in on a housekeeper.

 

He's approaching his late 40's. So, it may of been how he has always lived. Now I can see why he never had a long-term girlfriend. Doubt it if his few family members that live in the area ever visit him in his home. I did mention to hire cleaning service. He flat out refused saying he'll get around to it.

Sunkissedpatio Established Member

Sunkissedpatio

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Does he check out for not having any mental disorders?

 

They can be clean physically but live in utter clutter and mess, almost like hoarding.

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ChattyKat Established Member

ChattyKat

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Does he check out for not having any mental disorders?

.

 

Not that I know of.

Sunkissedpatio Established Member

Sunkissedpatio

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How well do you know him? I've seen it with people in the work place as well, their cubicles piled in with so much stuff that you would think a squatter lived in that cube rather than an employee and this man had a mental disorder.

 

Some people are functioning and have disorders. Not to alarm you but at almost 50 that is a sign of something more than what meets the eye. Living in clutter and is a first sign of depression and much more.

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AMJ Established Member

AMJ

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Does he check out for not having any mental disorders?

 

They can be clean physically but live in utter clutter and mess, almost like hoarding.

 

Who cares? He's late 40s and she only went on a few dates with him...this is a no-brainer decision...lol. I think he should have figured out how to get his mental disorder worked out by now.

Sunkissedpatio Established Member

Sunkissedpatio

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Unless he leads some sort of alternative lifestyle, like a punk rocker, a musician etc...eccentric artistic types live like that sometimes.

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Sunkissedpatio Established Member

Sunkissedpatio

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Posted (edited)
Who cares? He's late 40s and she only went on a few dates with him...this is a no-brainer decision...lol. I think he should have figured out how to get his mental disorder worked out by now.

 

 

Well she cares that's why she posed the question.

 

But that's my point he may have a mental disorder under control and be functioning but the hoarding/cluttered room may be a side he cannot get a handle on.

Edited by Sunkissedpatio
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ChattyKat Established Member

ChattyKat

Posted
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How well do you know him? I've seen it with people in the work place as well, their cubicles piled in with so much stuff that you would think a squatter lived in that cube rather than an employee and this man had a mental disorder.

 

Some people are functioning and have disorders. Not to alarm you but at almost 50 that is a sign of something more than what meets the eye. Living in clutter and is a first sign of depression and much more.

 

We knew each other as friends several years before dating. After several months of dating, I called it quits seeing his bedroom looking like a landfill and him refusing to do anything about it while we were together.

 

It's possible he may have something like you mentioned & hides it really well. And enables a few of his close friends all the time to avoid taking care of his own issues

 

Who cares? He's late 40s and she only went on a few dates with him...this is a no-brainer decision...lol. I think he should have figured out how to get his mental disorder worked out by now.

 

Actually, we dated a lot during those few months.

 

Unless he leads some sort of alternative lifestyle, like a punk rocker, a musician etc...eccentric artistic types live like that sometimes.

 

He isn't no artist lol

phineas Established Member

phineas

Posted
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He's approaching his late 40's. So, it may of been how he has always lived. Now I can see why he never had a long-term girlfriend. Doubt it if his few family members that live in the area ever visit him in his home. I did mention to hire cleaning service. He flat out refused saying he'll get around to it.

 

LATE 40's is older and falling age?

PPPPFFFFFFTTTTTT!!!!

 

I'm a slob.

My chick friends who have seen my house at both its worse & best figured out i only clean when i'm going to have sex or a party.:lmao:

 

I at least do the dishes, clean the bathroom, and put clean sheets on the bed if i suspect a woman is coming over & I don't have time to properly clean.

 

Although i can clean the whole place in about 5 hrs.

 

Unfortunately i have latent OCD and too much cleaning at one time can trigger an episode where I end up moving everything in a room out and scrubbing the floors, baseboards, walls, and even end up painting sections of walls.:eek:

 

I do try to keep the place clean when dating someone though.

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introverted1 Established Member

introverted1

Posted
Posted
Idk I've had tons of roommates and just found lots of women to be slobs, which goes against all stereotypes I know.

 

This has been my experience, too.

 

Guys are sometimes messy, women can take it to a whole other level!

 

Regardless, I'm with Gaeta - I'd question the hygiene of someone who didn't keep a relatively clean house. :sick:

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deep_night Established Member

deep_night

Posted
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god, i cant stand filth.

i wouldnt mind piles of CLEAN laundry that is yet to be settled, or books... or some dust on the shelves. but he'd better have a clean bathroom and kitchen and bedroom. keep everything from getting stinky, and keeping stinky stuff away from visitors (cos thats disrespectful :sick:)

 

i havent dated a slob yet, thank god. some of my boyfriends were really neat, some others just normal. they just had the occasional mess here and there (waters on the floor, a lonely rotting tomato in the fridge etc :laugh:)

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