Redhead14 Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 (edited) I think he is struggling (conflicted also) but it is not appealling or manly to keep asking for a homecooked meal because HE wants to feel homely and comfortable. I did not pick his call up bevause he cancelled meeting outside for coffee. After calling me rude, we then spoke. I said no to his offer to come to my place! He then suggested reasons why i'm saying no.. He is keen not to meet in public so the dates are likely to stop. If it was a 1 off dinner maybe but i cannot deal with this each time. We very clearly want different things. Im not doing the housewife routine so that he had the upper hand as to when he will seal the deal. This feels so wrong and rude. You do not ask (many times) for a dinner. Cheap. I think he is struggling (conflicted also) -- No he isn't. He smells "blood" in the water. The more you vacillate and entertain his BS, the more he knows he will "win". Stop responding!!!!!!!!! Edited December 4, 2016 by Redhead14 1
winny Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 @OP - Block this guy and move on. Next time make sure to communicate your boundaries before you meet someone or at least after the first date. It is totally okay for you to decide when you want to have sex but then you cannot let these men hang around for so long if they are trying to manipulate you into changing your mind. 1
Author so gutted Posted December 4, 2016 Author Posted December 4, 2016 He canw back - knowing he looks desperate. I have been clear, no. I am actually in a better place now, i know what will work for me and this isnt it.
Versacehottie Posted December 5, 2016 Posted December 5, 2016 He has also mentioned getting closer. Its a festive time so he is preying on my loneliness. Wait how is he preying on your loneliness if you DON'T agree to see him? YOU have a choice, what do you want? And btw, please be honest with yourself and not chose to consider this just bc you are lonely. If you miss him and think there is really potential there, I stress really, then set new standards, agree to new compromises that are rational for your dating (not all one sided either way). If you do the same hoping for different results, I doubt that will happen. And whatever you do, don't do the victim thing, it's a dead end road and doesn't garner much sympathy. 2
mortensorchid Posted December 5, 2016 Posted December 5, 2016 It sounds like this is the end of it on his part. You told him that you're not having sex with him. You have your reasons on your part, of course, but he doesn't like that answer. Move on.
LexiCat29 Posted December 5, 2016 Posted December 5, 2016 The title of this thread is 'he turned nasty'. Shouldn't that automatically mean that he's not boyfriend material? Why are you even entertaining the idea of seeing him again? 2
NuevoYorko Posted December 5, 2016 Posted December 5, 2016 OP, it seems that you have a solid history of recognizing that a man isn't right for you, then trying as hard as you can to force it for months, and ending up feeling like a victim of the man. How's this working for you? 4
herodgrant Posted December 8, 2016 Posted December 8, 2016 I don't see how that's "turning nasty". To me "turning nasty" is when dates have called me a wh*re (go figure!), said I was trash, said I had nothing to offer anyone, to name but a few. All this because I wouldn't sleep with them and cut things off when they pressured me too much after only 2-3 dates. I certainly choose better dates now. 1
joseb Posted December 8, 2016 Posted December 8, 2016 He could just be trying to get you alone at home to make the moves on you and convince you to change your "no sex 'til marriage" rule.... So I'm curious, why are you even still talking to this guy? Yeah I think it's exactly what he is trying to do. OP needs to move on if this is her position.
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