jerrygordon3 Posted August 11, 2016 Posted August 11, 2016 So I recently met the perfect person. Beautiful, smart!, crazy about me, great connection, same love languages, chemistry, and she is so so sweet and kind. She is from Germany and living her for a year or two. She has only met jerks since being here and after 5 months was very lonely and her ex whom she was not very happy with from Germany asked to come visit her because he still wanted her. Because she had no other options and they had a long 3 year history she agreed. A month after he booked his flight she met me and she hasn't stopped seeing me everyday. But after a few days when she realized how much we had hit it off she told me that he is coming to visit but will be staying in a hostel and not with her. She will still see him, and doesn't know what to do because she wants to be with me but we just met and it's a toug situation. I'm already crazy about this girl and have to have her. She's amazing, and I commend her honesty. I told her I understood and would keep seeing her because we had only known each other for a week when she told me. But the more we see each other the faster it's moving forward for both of us. Now it's two days until he arrives and I don't know how to make sure she chooses me. Even her friends say they've never seen her like this. I'm worried I'm going to lose the sweetest, kindest, loving woman I've met. I'm not sure what to do... I'm just being myself and she loves it and is returning my emotion and love equally. It's so natural. I just feel like we have such a great chance to be a long term thing and I'm worried.
JewelD Posted August 11, 2016 Posted August 11, 2016 There's nothing you can do but wait or bow out. and there's no honor in being 'chosen' over someone else. Why do you want to be a choice in the first place? She's so infatuated with you but not enough to tell her ex to make other plans? Or to tell him about you and possibly bring you along if she really feels like she has to go see him? She's obviously not in love with you or committed to you, so don't be surprised if she changes her mind after seeing a man she has history with. and don't be surprised if there's some back and forth with her trying to keep the both of you around. All you can do is wait and see what happens if you really want her.
Emilia Posted August 11, 2016 Posted August 11, 2016 Really? You are into a girl who can't say no to her ex and you are trying to compete? Is this how you envisage your dating life? If you spend your life chasing after women that don't want you all that much, you will be very unhappy. 5
NIGHT1985 Posted August 11, 2016 Posted August 11, 2016 You're not gonna win if she still has strong feelings with an ex of 3 years. This is all on her and on the fact that she's either ready to move on or revisit the past
TXGuy Posted August 11, 2016 Posted August 11, 2016 You said he is only coming for a visit, he is not moving in with her. The path forward is pretty simple. You have to accept the fact that she is going to be with the ex for the duration of the visit. He will go back home and you two can resume your great relationship. While it might be a bit awkward the first couple days back together. If you don't make it a big deal, it won't be. Don't question the girl about what she did or didn't do while the ex was visiting. Simply pick up where you left off
kgcolonel Posted August 11, 2016 Posted August 11, 2016 This sounds as though she is giving him an opening....you're not invited to hang out with them, she's not indicated that she'll introduce you to him, there's no "I'll introduce you to a girlfriend of mine" etc.....she's holding out to see if he comes through. It's a tough situation....maybe just be upfront with her as ask her what she is seeking / expecting from the visit with the EX....also, ask her if she's planning on sleeping with him.....if she's as honest as you say, she'll be able to convince you or let you know where you two stand.
GorillaTheater Posted August 11, 2016 Posted August 11, 2016 There are likely few things lamer than the "pick ME!" dance. 4
CollegeKid101 Posted August 12, 2016 Posted August 12, 2016 So I recently met the perfect person. Beautiful, smart!, crazy about me, great connection, same love languages, chemistry, and she is so so sweet and kind. She is from Germany and living her for a year or two. She has only met jerks since being here and after 5 months was very lonely and her ex whom she was not very happy with from Germany asked to come visit her because he still wanted her. Because she had no other options and they had a long 3 year history she agreed. A month after he booked his flight she met me and she hasn't stopped seeing me everyday. But after a few days when she realized how much we had hit it off she told me that he is coming to visit but will be staying in a hostel and not with her. She will still see him, and doesn't know what to do because she wants to be with me but we just met and it's a toug situation. I'm already crazy about this girl and have to have her. She's amazing, and I commend her honesty. I told her I understood and would keep seeing her because we had only known each other for a week when she told me. But the more we see each other the faster it's moving forward for both of us. Now it's two days until he arrives and I don't know how to make sure she chooses me. Even her friends say they've never seen her like this. I'm worried I'm going to lose the sweetest, kindest, loving woman I've met. I'm not sure what to do... I'm just being myself and she loves it and is returning my emotion and love equally. It's so natural. I just feel like we have such a great chance to be a long term thing and I'm worried. Walk away. You're just an option to her, she's a priority to you. Do you really want that?
Nightwriter Posted August 12, 2016 Posted August 12, 2016 Is she auditioning to be the next contestant on The Bachelorette?
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