My bf parents don't like me

[Terry8889]

So yesterday I found out they don't like me and they rather have someone else for their son.

My bf and i were planning on going to the movies last night and apparently his mom called him and asked what he was doing later. He told him that he was gonna be out with me and the lady went nuts saying ohhe now you're seeing her 3 times a week??! And she got mad idk why. At the end she hung up on him and call my bf dad and his dad sent him a text confronting my bf. Anyway my bf was very upset about it, he told me how his parents don't like me, bc they want an "American " woman for him, that he should still look for someone else and not close the door yet, how my bf used to date movie star type of women and they don't like it the fact that I am not that type. Like wtf I never would have thought this people were so shallow especially bc they are not movie star type of people themselves either. The dad looks like Mr potato head after a bad accident and the mom and short and fat.

On the hand had my bf says he will is tired of them bc his choice is me and he doesn't want to loose me bc of them. He wants to have a family of his own.

I have been nice to his parents and I am a decent person with college education, and what's most important I love their son.

 

This situation is new to me bc all my exs parents have adored me but this pair are so weird. Their comment completely killed my positive feelings abut then and I'm afraid I'm never gonna feel comfortable around them again.

I don't like them anymore. My bf said he is gonna talk to them and tell them to back off and if they don't change their behavior he will sell his house and move away with me.

My bf also visits them at their place every single day until this day, I always thought that was not healthy especially for a 32 yrs old. I told him he should cut and minimize contact with them and he say he will try.

 

What would you do in this situation?

[DrReplyInRhymes]

public string WhatShouldIDo (bool DoYouLoveHim?)

{

if (DoYouLoveHim)

{

return "Fight for him!";

{

else

{

return "Leave him!";

{

{

 

[kendahke]

How old are you two?

 

How long have you two been dating exclusively?

 

Do they live with him at his house?

 

What is his culture? What is yours?

 

Are his parents and/or siblings dependent upon him in any way?

[Terry8889]

How old are you two?

 

How long have you two been dating exclusively?

 

Do they live with him at his house?

 

What is his culture? What is yours?

 

Are his parents and/or siblings dependent upon him in any way?

 

He is 32 and I am 28

 

We have been dating for about a year and I recently met his parents a month ago.

 

They don't live at his house, he has his own place separate from them.

 

He is white American and I'm Hispanic

 

They are not dependant on him in any way except emotionally bc his other two siblings also moved away from them and he is the only child left.

Edited August 11, 2016 by Terry8889

[stillafool]

I can't blame you for not liking his parents. To be honest with you I would be looking at the front, back door as an escape at this point. He may stand up to his parents today; but any 32 year old man who has to visit his parents daily is going to care about their opinion. It will be very uncomfortable for all of you at this point.

[Larryville]

So yesterday I found out they don't like me and they rather have someone else for their son.

 

We have been dating for about a year and I recently met his parents a month ago.

 

So you met parents a month ago and YESTERDAY found out they don’t like you?

 

You did not get a vibe that they were not too keen on you when you met them?

 

He is American

 

Ok, aren’t you? Or am I'm assuming. Him white dude?

 

bc they want an "American " woman for him, that he should still look for someone else and not close the door yet, how my bf used to date movie star type of women and they don't like it the fact that I am not that type.

 

You gotta explain “American”

 

Since you used this term… (yes Larry is likely over processing this ) Let me just say this, may sound a bit strange to some but I’m gonna throw this out there…

I don’t know if these people are “racists” in any way but some folks who are not necessarily racists, don’t particularly care for folks who are a little too “ethnic” to be a little PC…

 

I’m a person of “color” (more PC crap I know…) but I don’t particularly care for a woman (regardless of race) who is or acts too “ethnic” just throwing that out there for discussion sake…

 

But what SAF said is frankly the bottom line…

 

any 32 year old man who has to visit his parents daily is going to care about their opinion. It will be very uncomfortable for all of you at this point.

 

If a mama's boy you are toast...

[Terry8889]

So you met parents a month ago and YESTERDAY found out they don’t like you?

Yes, the day after I met them he told me they liked me, but now all of a sudden I found out they are telling him I'm not good enough, that he can do better and to continue dating others.

 

You did not get a vibe that they were not too keen on you when you met them?

 

Actually I had a gift for them the first time I met them, something from my country. Not bc I wanted to kiss their butt I am a generous with everyone and I thought they would like it. Everything seemed normal that night.

 

 

 

Ok, aren’t you? Or am I'm assuming. Him white dude?

Yes he is a Caucasian male with polish roots.

Idk if they are racist or not but apparently they want someone taller for him and with a PhD just like him.

Bottom line I know they are idiots and my bf says he plans to stay with me regardless of what they think and even move away if they don't stop their crap. I told him to minimize contact with them and stop spending so much time with them too.

 

This whole situation sucks

[sandylee1]

They're very narrow minded people. I have to say I'm not sure why he told you how they feel, because that's always going to be on your mind.

 

I see why the other siblings moved away.

[No_Go]

Ugh mama boy with rasist mommy and daddy... Sweet. OP how serious are you and your BF? If you're still casual (2-3x a week is casual dating), why bother meeting or talking to them? Minimize communication. Worry if you're planning wedding/babies etc.

[Terry8889]

OP how serious are you and your BF?

 

I want to be with him and if we were to break up it has to be bc we decide to not bc someone else isnt happy. I want him in my life!

 

I have to say I'm not sure why he told you how they feel, because that's always going to be on your mind.

 

He told me bc apparently they have been tormenting him about it for a while since I met them, I have only seen them once a month ago. They have issues accepting their other two children moved away from them, and my bf said they even went to counselling for it years ago. I am wondering if they are now shutting me out and making up all kinds of excuses to not like me bc they are afraid their last son will leave their side.

 

This really hurt my self steem, this is the first time somebody openly say they dont like me and I am not good enough. Nobody likes to hear that, I feel disrespected too.

Hopefully he cuts or at least minimizes contact with them. I am very afraid their opinion might influence him but if it happens I know it will be stupid of him to let them control his life. But something positive about it is that he told me today he loved me (for the first time). I know sounds crazy but we have been taking things very slowly, we are waiting for marriage to have sex (his belief) which I accept and dont mind.

Edited August 12, 2016 by Terry8889