Ex gf cheated and left

[Rng]

I'm having a particularly bad week. Last night I had a dream that my ex was marrying the guy she cheated on me with, and on top of that I'm sick with a sinus infection and she would be the person I'd normal have gone to for comfort. I'm depressed over the whole situation and the fact that she hasn't bothered trying to contact me, even though I know that wouldn't do me any good really.

 

I've been talking to several women over the past few weeks and regained a lot of my confidence. I'm just still so angry at her for how she treated me and our relationship with complete and utter disrespect, and I don't know what to do about it. Nothing, right?

 

I mean, while I was stuck at home waiting on her to come back and finalizing plans for the vacation we had talked about going on, she was constantly lying to me, disregarding my feelings and concerns by ignoring my needs while she was gone (mainly me just wanting to hear from her so I knew she was okay), and ultimately cheating on me. I mean, she put me through the most emotionally devastating experience of my life thus far. I should want nothing to do with her, but I still want to go back to before.

 

In the end though, even if she hadn't done what she did while she was gone on her trip, I feel like our relationship was doomed either way. In the weeks before she left, she was avoiding me, not saying much, and was, I'm fairly certain, lying to avoid spending time with me and telling me she was going shopping with her mom. She could have been seeing someone else then, for all I know.

 

The doing nothing and waiting for things to fade is probably the most difficult thing. I have to drive by her work every day on the way to my job and not a day has gone by that I haven't wanted to stop and confront her again.

 

She's made it perfectly clear that I mean, and meant, nothing to her in the past and that I was just being used until she was in a position to jump ship. How do I get past the feelings of both hating her and wanting her back?

[MetalGearSolid]

I'm having a particularly bad week. Last night I had a dream that my ex was marrying the guy she cheated on me with, and on top of that I'm sick with a sinus infection and she would be the person I'd normal have gone to for comfort. I'm depressed over the whole situation and the fact that she hasn't bothered trying to contact me, even though I know that wouldn't do me any good really.

 

I've been talking to several women over the past few weeks and regained a lot of my confidence. I'm just still so angry at her for how she treated me and our relationship with complete and utter disrespect, and I don't know what to do about it. Nothing, right?

 

I mean, while I was stuck at home waiting on her to come back and finalizing plans for the vacation we had talked about going on, she was constantly lying to me, disregarding my feelings and concerns by ignoring my needs while she was gone (mainly me just wanting to hear from her so I knew she was okay), and ultimately cheating on me. I mean, she put me through the most emotionally devastating experience of my life thus far. I should want nothing to do with her, but I still want to go back to before.

 

In the end though, even if she hadn't done what she did while she was gone on her trip, I feel like our relationship was doomed either way. In the weeks before she left, she was avoiding me, not saying much, and was, I'm fairly certain, lying to avoid spending time with me and telling me she was going shopping with her mom. She could have been seeing someone else then, for all I know.

 

The doing nothing and waiting for things to fade is probably the most difficult thing. I have to drive by her work every day on the way to my job and not a day has gone by that I haven't wanted to stop and confront her again.

 

She's made it perfectly clear that I mean, and meant, nothing to her in the past and that I was just being used until she was in a position to jump ship. How do I get past the feelings of both hating her and wanting her back?

Hey Rng, it's me, from the thread you commented on. You already know my situation, and like you said, it's similar, except I can't even imagine how painful it must be for a girlfriend of nearly 3 years to do something like this to you. However, to put it bluntly, it is very obvious she does not want you in her life anymore. Both our ladies treated us like crap, and we do deserve someone better. And yes, I am also experiencing the feeling of both hating and wanting her back at the same time. It feels like, even though she treated you like ****, a part of you just can't imagine what you'd do without her, am I right?

 

Trust me when I say that time will heal the wounds. Start occupying yourself, and remember to keep NC. The biggest mistake you can make now is think about her. I'm serious, don't think about if she's happier, if you're not good enough, and so on. You've already did your best, and if she can't see it, then f*ck her. I've been going clubbing more, it really helps me forget about my problems (plus I get to dance with some really pretty ladies). I even downloaded some dating apps, but I'm really afraid I will get trolled or something, haha. At this point, while I'm still hurt, I'm definitely feeling a lot better than the day we broke up.

 

By the way dude, if you ever need someone to talk to, you can always contact me. I mean, the both of us are in relatively similar situations now, and perhaps someone to talk to is what we both need.

[Rng]

Hey Rng, it's me, from the thread you commented on. You already know my situation, and like you said, it's similar, except I can't even imagine how painful it must be for a girlfriend of nearly 3 years to do something like this to you. However, to put it bluntly, it is very obvious she does not want you in her life anymore. Both our ladies treated us like crap, and we do deserve someone better. And yes, I am also experiencing the feeling of both hating and wanting her back at the same time. It feels like, even though she treated you like ****, a part of you just can't imagine what you'd do without her, am I right?

 

Trust me when I say that time will heal the wounds. Start occupying yourself, and remember to keep NC. The biggest mistake you can make now is think about her. I'm serious, don't think about if she's happier, if you're not good enough, and so on. You've already did your best, and if she can't see it, then f*ck her. I've been going clubbing more, it really helps me forget about my problems (plus I get to dance with some really pretty ladies). I even downloaded some dating apps, but I'm really afraid I will get trolled or something, haha. At this point, while I'm still hurt, I'm definitely feeling a lot better than the day we broke up.

 

By the way dude, if you ever need someone to talk to, you can always contact me. I mean, the both of us are in relatively similar situations now, and perhaps someone to talk to is what we both need.

 

Lol I just posted in your thread again. But yes, it seems we are in the same situation emotionally. I haven't contacted her and she hasn't reached out any since mid-July, and I have no intention of ever talking to her again even though part of me really wants to. The problem is subconscious triggers and that the place I live in was our apartment, now its just mine.

 

I downloaded basically all of the dating apps on day 1 and started talking to new people right away lol. I don't expect anything serious out of it yet, but just talking to new people has restored a big part of my ego that got hurt. When I was dating her, I basically couldn't do anything without her jealousy rearing its ugly head, so I stopped. I'm overall much happier without having to deal with her issues and making sure she's taken care of, its just taking some getting used to.

 

I'm less upset about the actual breakup than I am about how I was treated and how little she actually cared about me in the long run and after everything I had done for her. She put the blame on me for things that just patently weren't, and couldn't have been, my fault. She had my full and unquestioned trust and abused it in the worst way possible.

 

The same goes for you by the way. You can reach out anytime. I'm on here a lot on my bad days.

Edited September 7, 2016 by Rng

[Rng]

Update: So I've been MIA from these forums for several weeks now and my god have things turned around. About a month ago I started to feel better about my situation and realizing that I hadn't really lost anything at all, but gained an opportunity.

 

Two weeks ago I met someone who completely cemented that thought and is better for me than my ex ever was or could be. She's amazing in every way possible to me. We share the same views on practically everything, we have the same sense of humor, the same level of ambition, and the same life goals.

 

I honestly never thought this level of happiness was achievable until meeting her. To all of those going through a breakup, I know the feelings involved can be tremendous and you may feel hopeless, but try to focus on why you and your ex weren't compatible.

 

I've never felt this level of compatibility and didn't even think I could be as happy as I am now. I feel like I'm beating a dead horse here, but NEVER settle. Don't do it. The real thing is so much better than just having someone around to have someone around.

[Chi townD]

Update: So I've been MIA from these forums for several weeks now and my god have things turned around. About a month ago I started to feel better about my situation and realizing that I hadn't really lost anything at all, but gained an opportunity.

 

Two weeks ago I met someone who completely cemented that thought and is better for me than my ex ever was or could be. She's amazing in every way possible to me. We share the same views on practically everything, we have the same sense of humor, the same level of ambition, and the same life goals.

 

I honestly never thought this level of happiness was achievable until meeting her. To all of those going through a breakup, I know the feelings involved can be tremendous and you may feel hopeless, but try to focus on why you and your ex weren't compatible.

 

I've never felt this level of compatibility and didn't even think I could be as happy as I am now. I feel like I'm beating a dead horse here, but NEVER settle. Don't do it. The real thing is so much better than just having someone around to have someone around.

 

Good to hear dude. Now, safeguard what you have. Be open and honest with her. Let her know what happened to you in your last relationship. So, just in case you are having a hard time. I say this, because I know that you've moved on, but I still feel that you are not completely healed. So, just be mindful.