I wanna dig a hole and just crawl in it...

[sherbmeister]

sherbmeister,

 

I'm so sorry. It makes me very sad when couples have been together for so long and one of them emotionally checks out. Its so painful for the one that still wants to work things out and make it better. To me it sounds so selfish how she felt you ignored her during that time you were going through a depression. Considering what you were going through she could have been more understanding. She could have Cheered you up and do things with you to bring you up. She felt lonely maybe but if you truly love someone their pain is your pain, their happiness is your happiness. If you don't want your partner to be sad you do anything to put a smile on their face.

 

Time and life itself works in mysterious ways. Change happens. Sad but true. I just want to say stay strong. Everything will be fine. Take care of yourself and learn to live with yourself again. Whether this woman comes back one day or not you know you did everything you could to save your relationship. Besides in the end you'll win either way. If she comes back and you guys get back together it's because it was meant to be and you'll have the love of your life again. If she doesn't come back, by this time you already learned to live without her and you're a better person and happy alone or with someone new. Either way you win.

 

Good luck to you

 

Thank you so much for taking time to cheer up a stranger. You're awesome.

[sherbmeister]

In a short update to this:

I stood around and didn't leave the appartment yet in the the hopes that we'll maybe reconcile. Last Night I asked her if she wanted to see a movie or something, to which is replied yes, then she said we should also get a pizza, so I was like ok. Later on she sent me a text with a funny pic of a cat as a joke, I was like haha nice, one thing led to another in the text convo and I was like, "maybe we won't have to break up for good" and she was like "you're giving yourself false hope" and **** like that, Ofc I'm confused at this point but she still wanna come and watch a movie. This is so confusing lol. I'll move out for sure though, this week, asap. Still.. pretty f. up, wth lol.

[springy]

Dear sherb,

 

Do not let this confuse you; you are being transitioned into the friendzone. She has told you what you need to hear to let go. She has done you a favor, most do not do this. She said it straight out to you. Your reluctance to accept this is on you; you cannot say she led you on. It doesn't get much clearer than what she has said.

 

Now, no doubt she cares about you...there may be some concern mixed in there because of your past issues, some guilt for dumping you...and the history. When you have been with someone for a good period of time they become your habit...you are her habit, as she is yours. Time to break the addiction.

 

Do not be surprised if there are more tears, if she suggests that she doesn't want you out of her life and she'd like to keep in touch/remain friends/still do things together. You really, truly, seriously need to get out of there. Move out. Do not ask to do things together. By doing so, you show her you are okay with being her buddy o'pal. Leave her to the full consequences of her decision to end things. I truly believe when people continue to hang around after being dumped, accepting breadcrumbs, accepting any little moment their beloved dumper will give them, that they are only assisting the dumper in slowly weaning off of them.

 

The greatest thing would have been to let her come back from her vacation to a home that is void of you. I assume it is too late for that...please say you are moving out...tomorrow?

Edited August 23, 2016 by springy

[sherbmeister]

Dear sherb,

 

Do not let this confuse you; you are being transitioned into the friendzone. She has told you what you need to hear to let go. She has done you a favor, most do not do this. She said it straight out to you. Your reluctance to accept this is on you; you cannot say she led you on. It doesn't get much clearer than what she has said.

 

Now, no doubt she cares about you...there may be some concern mixed in there because of your past issues, some guilt for dumping you...and the history. When you have been with someone for a good period of time they become your habit...you are her habit, as she is yours. Time to break the addiction.

 

Do not be surprised if there are more tears, if she suggests that she doesn't want you out of her life and she'd like to keep in touch/remain friends/still do things together. You really, truly, seriously need to get out of there. Move out. Do not ask to do things together. By doing so, you show her you are okay with being her buddy o'pal. Leave her to the full consequences of her decision to end things. I truly believe when people continue to hang around after being dumped, accepting breadcrumbs, accepting any little moment their beloved dumper will give them, that they are only assisting the dumper in slowly weaning off of them.

 

The greatest thing would have been to let her come back from her vacation to a home that is void of you. I assume it is too late for that...please say you are moving out...tomorrow?

 

Thank you for your reply. You got a strong point. She didn't come last night cause it was pouring outside and it was a thunder storm and we dont really live toggether as she sleeps at her grandmother at this time. But I plan in moving out this week yes..

[sherbmeister]

Hello Everyone, I hope everyone is doing good. I'd like to post an update to my situation not that it matters but it might help some of the ones that read this through heartbreak. Now, don't take me wrong, I'm still in pain but I'm slowly healing. So heres my update:

Moved out over two weeks ago. 1st week we were still texting through whatsapp, i blocked her and all her family on facebook though. While texting on whatsapp she would usually contact me, but I'd initiate contact aswell sometimes. Till a week ago when I decided I should go into no contact and see to my life and maybe she'll come back to me but I won't wait around for that to happen, if it happens, it happens. Our last contact was a text from her after I stopped talking to her, asking me if im ok and if all is good. I said just a "yes" and left it like that, she then texted me back "well ok then, I just wanted to see how you were, I'll leave you alone and I won't text you anymore, if you want you can text me whenever" to which I replied "these courtesy messages are for nothing, I think we should stop texting, if YOU really want something serious you know where to find me" then I proceeded to block her on whatsapp too and changed her name in my phonebook to a guy name so I won't see it there when I browse. I kept strong and havent contacted her since then, it's pretty hard though...