Do most women expect you to drive to their area for a first date?

[NJ123]

I screwed up with going on a date with a woman since neither of us knew each others area at all & weren't willing to drive to the others. I hate to say it but I get bad anxiety driving in areas I'm unfamiliar with but I think with her she was just saying that as an excuse since she wanted me to be the one to drive to her area for the date which I've never been to before. But do most women expect the guy to drive to her area for a date, or are some women willing to travel to the guys location? I feel like such an idiot though that I should have just forced myself somehow to get to where she lives now I missed an opportunity.

[Shanex]

Yeah they do. Especially for a first date, it's being a gentleman..

 

Later on in a relationship, it's fifty fifty. Come here some day, I'll come to your place another day.

 

Yes, some women who are really into you will drive to your area. In these cases don't screw up because she is obviously very interested to come to you.

[basil67]

For a first date, I'd be happy meeting somewhere in the middle.

 

When it comes to driving in areas which we don't know, I highly recommend learning the route early on a Sunday morning when there's no traffic. That's how I got the confidence to drive our CBD with all it's one way streets and crazy traffic.

[Grapesofwrath]

Yes, it is considered good form for the man to do that drive first. It's gallant and it's being a gentlemen. In general, it is far safer for a man to travel to an unfamiliar area, especially at night. So by making that first trip, you demonstrate that her safety and welfare is important to you.

[NJ123]

Yeah they do. Especially for a first date, it's being a gentleman..

 

Later on in a relationship, it's fifty fifty. Come here some day, I'll come to your place another day.

 

Yes, some women who are really into you will drive to your area. In these cases don't screw up because she is obviously very interested to come to you.

 

So you're saying this woman I messed it up with wasn't really into me then if she didn't want to drive to my area? I suggested a place near me but she seemed to get turned off by that. She just wasn't having it, then she got pissed off I think at me. Now I haven't heard from her in like 7 hours & likely never will again. I guess I have no one to blame but myself though.

[Shanex]

Nevermind.....

Edited August 11, 2016 by Shanex

[NJ123]

Sorry man, I don't know your full story.. did you start a thread on LS about this?

 

Without further infos I won't judge whether you made a mistake or not.

 

Trust me, I made a mistake. Neither of us knew each others area at all & that's the reason why we're not going on a date lol. How ridiculous is that. I still can't believe this. It's just insane that I screwed it up this bad, it's like something out of a over the top comedy movie or something.

[planb1973]

So you're saying this woman I messed it up with wasn't really into me then if she didn't want to drive to my area? I suggested a place near me but she seemed to get turned off by that. She just wasn't having it, then she got pissed off I think at me. Now I haven't heard from her in like 7 hours & likely never will again. I guess I have no one to blame but myself though.

 

She hadn't met you yet how could she be into or not into you? Always go to her area, It shows YOUR interest!

[Shanex]

So you're saying this woman I messed it up with wasn't really into me then if she didn't want to drive to my area? I suggested a place near me but she seemed to get turned off by that. She just wasn't having it, then she got pissed off I think at me. Now I haven't heard from her in like 7 hours & likely never will again. I guess I have no one to blame but myself though.

 

She is a bit of a crybaby. Upset about something so trivial? I think you can find better. Keep looking.. this one doesn't seem like much of a catch.

[sickoflove11]

I am a woman and I drove to the guys area on our first date. It wasn't really a big deal to me. He only lives 20 minutes away but the traffic made it more like 40. I would expect him to come down to my area if we go on anymore dates. It was definitely something I thought about though. I think the expected norm is for the guy to drive down to the womans area.. I just didn't want to play by some "rules" and I like his area anyways.

[NJ123]

She is a bit of a crybaby. Upset about something so trivial? I think you can find better. Keep looking.. this one doesn't seem like much of a catch.

 

I don't know. It's really my fault though since it seems women expect the guy to travel to her area. I'll be shocked if I hear from her again which likely isn't happening.

[Shanex]

For a first date, I'd be happy meeting somewhere in the middle.

 

I'd take this recommendation. Then no one has to be upset about having to drive to x or y place. Plus a first date outside or for a drink is better far from each other locate for a first time imo.

 

If things and the date goes well, you'll see..

[NJ123]

I'd take this recommendation. Then no one has to be upset about having to drive to x or y place. Plus a first date outside or for a drink is better far from each other locate for a first time imo.

 

If things and the date goes well, you'll see..

 

True, I did suggest meeting for a drink but near my area. And that's what pretty much ended it. Neither of us knew the others area so we're not meeting now. That must be a first since I've never heard of a date not happening due to that lol. I really am bummed out about this though.

[Bialy]

For a first date, I actually prefer to meet at a location that is convenient for the guy.

 

I live in a city, so I'm cool with whatever location the guy picks, as long as it's accessible by public transportation.

 

For one, it's just a safety thing. If it's a first date with someone I don't know, then I really wouldn't want to meet them near my apartment. I don't mind going an extra 20-40 minutes to a spot of a guy's choice.

 

Once I know someone, it's a totally different story.

[TXGuy]

It depends how many other options you have.

 

I tend to set dates at places I know and like. To the extent it is reasonably convenient for her, great. If it isn't, she can say no.

 

As someone else said, driving some distance is an indicator of interest. If she was so indifferent she doesn't want to drive, then it probably wouldn't have worked out anyway.

 

If she wants to plan the second date, she can pick the place.

 

That said, I wouldn't date anyone beyond a 30 min drive, so neither of us would be driving far.

[NJ123]

For a first date, I actually prefer to meet at a location that is convenient for the guy.

 

I live in a city, so I'm cool with whatever location the guy picks, as long as it's accessible by public transportation.

 

For one, it's just a safety thing. If it's a first date with someone I don't know, then I really wouldn't want to meet them near my apartment. I don't mind going an extra 20-40 minutes to a spot of a guy's choice.

 

Once I know someone, it's a totally different story.

 

I just think this woman has the mentality that the guy should be the one to travel. I don't exactly blame her since I screwed up a few things before with her due to my inexperience but she still gave me a chance. But I guess this sealed the deal for her to end things with me for good. I just don't think I'm going to hear from her again at this point.

[clia]

How far away do you two live from each other?

 

I wouldn't say I ever expected it, but I did appreciate the guys who made the date easy for me. I was thrilled when my now husband chose a place four blocks from my place for our first date. Easy peasy, I just walked over and met him. I would've gone to his neighborhood or met him halfway, though. But we didn't live that far away from each other.

[TXGuy]

It depends how many other options you have.

 

I tend to set dates at places I know and like. To the extent it is reasonably convenient for her, great. If it isn't, she can say no.

 

As someone else said, driving some distance is an indicator of interest. If she was so indifferent she doesn't want to drive, then it probably wouldn't have worked out anyway.

 

If she wants to plan the second date, she can pick the place.

 

That said, I wouldn't date anyone beyond a 30 min drive, so neither of us would be driving far.

 

(I tried to add this into my previous post, but got locked out)

 

A little bit of a further explanation.:

 

To the extent it is my job to pick the place, I want to pick a place I know has good food, drinks, parking, atmosphere, etc. If I don't know her area, I can't do that. It is better to pick a place a little out of her way than pick a bad place close to her.

[NJ123]

How far away do you two live from each other?

 

I wouldn't say I ever expected it, but I did appreciate the guys who made the date easy for me. I was thrilled when my now husband chose a place four blocks from my place for our first date. Easy peasy, I just walked over and met him. I would've gone to his neighborhood or met him halfway, though. But we didn't live that far away from each other.

 

Google Maps says it's a 29 minute drive. But oh well, it's highly likely over with her now so I just have to move on. She likely really hates me now basing on the tone of her texts towards me before we just stopped talking.

[Ami1uwant]

From my own dating experience I will usually ask her where she is familiar with and wants to go. Sometimes that is meeting half way if we lived on opposite sides of a city.

 

I assume she doesn't want to go to her regular places she normally goes to like her local favorite.

 

My focus is her being at a place she is most comfortable and can be herself.

[NJ123]

(I tried to add this into my previous post, but got locked out)

 

A little bit of a further explanation.:

 

To the extent it is my job to pick the place, I want to pick a place I know has good food, drinks, parking, atmosphere, etc. If I don't know her area, I can't do that. It is better to pick a place a little out of her way than pick a bad place close to her.

 

I suggested a nice place I've been to a few times right nearby me but she wasn't willing to. I just wish it could have worked out somehow.

[clia]

Google Maps says it's a 29 minute drive. But oh well, it's highly likely over with her now so I just have to move on. She likely really hates me now basing on the tone of her texts towards me before we just stopped talking.

 

Well, you have nothing to lose by giving it one more shot. 29 minutes is no big deal. Find a place near her (coffee shop, bar, restaurant, whatever) using Yelp, Trip Advisor, Eater (if it's in your city), and ask her out. If she says no, you've lost nothing.

[MidwestUSA]

I suggested a nice place I've been to a few times right nearby me but she wasn't willing to. I just wish it could have worked out somehow.

 

Now's your chance to read up and expand your horizons. Learn some areas further away from you, how difficult can it be? She was pissy because you put all the traveling on her. I don't mind meeting someone halfway, but if a guy wanted me to drive to his area? No. He can find a nice spot midway.

 

Yelp, Google, reviews.

 

Do you have anxiety about leaving your immediate area?

[MidwestUSA]

Well, you have nothing to lose by giving it one more shot. 29 minutes is no big deal. Find a place near her (coffee shop, bar, restaurant, whatever) using Yelp, Trip Advisor, Eater (if it's in your city), and ask her out. If she says no, you've lost nothing.

 

I think this one's done. She wanted him near her place for obvious reasons!

[NJ123]

I think this one's done. She wanted him near her place for obvious reasons!

 

And what's those obvious reasons? If you're suggesting to invite me back to her place, that likely wasn't happening since she doesn't live on her own at the moment.