robloxppl Posted August 11, 2016 Posted August 11, 2016 (edited) I don't know what to do We started dating at the beginning of freshman year in high school when we were both 14. He asked me to homecoming by singing to me. We have been together ever since. We have never had an argument in all our time together, we just got along so well and we thought we could make it. We are now 18 and I am leaving for college in 2 weeks. We have talked about keeping a long distance relationship and how we will still see each other when I come home (he's staying local). On Saturday, he sent me a text, a very long break up text. Over and over in the text he kept saying that "you're beautiful and I know you will have so many guys chasing after you and I don't want to hold you back". I hate that because I know that won't happen, all throughout high school, not one guy ever tried to be my friend, except him. I am so unbelievabley hurt, I immediately told him to call me and he said that would just be too hard. I called him and he answered but didn't have much to say as I was crying my heart out. All he said was that he's been talking to his dad about what to do. I like his dad but I always thought he was pretty strange. He told me he didn't think long distance would work. I am only going 1 state over, 3 hr drive. I tried convincing him but he wouldn't budge. I told him I wanted to meet in person and he again said that would be too difficult. The next day I texted him and he admitted that the main reason was that soon after graduation, he was starting to have thoughts about being with other people. This hurts more than anything I have ever experienced in my entire life because now I feel like I'm not good enough (i am very self conscious about my body, I am very small everywhere) He said he didn't want to do anything to hurt me if he ever 'pursued those urges' while I was away at college. He assured me that there was no other specific girl, he's just been having thoughts about kissing other women in general. He also said that the reason he did it over text is because he knew he would back out if he did it in person (i guess because he still has feelings). I understand 4 years is A LOT for a young teenage boy to be with the same girl, but this completely blind sided me, because less than 48 hours earlier he said he loved me and wanted a photo because he missed me. He said that for the past few months he has been hoping his other feelings would go away, but they never did. I had no idea he felt this way and I just can't believe its happening. I had to delete all our texts because I found myself reading them over and over, because just a few days ago everything seemed fine, he was saying he loved me and calling me cute names like sugar. I had no idea that when he came over last week, that would our last date and the last time I hugged and kissed him. He was the absolute most sweetest guy in the world and I can't believe its over. He said maybe we can try again in December when I come back. I don't want to get my hopes up, but I am. He said he would still text me and check on me because we are the best of friends, we've sent lovey dovey texts to each other every night for the last 3 years and 9 months, how could we just suddenly stop all contact? But we've only really texted once since Saturday, he texted me when he was at work to see how I was holding up (and I wasn't doing good). We tried to talk normally, but when he said he had to go and he would talk to me later, he didn't say "i have to go babe, love you so so much" like he did just a few days ago and I completely died. It was so weird that now we just had to say "bye" at the end of a text. I find myself having my phone glued to me, hoping that maybe he will send me a text or call me and change his mind. I know that is not going to happen, but in the back of my mind I desperately want it to. I asked him if I could keep our pictures up on instagram, just for my memories and coping, and he said of course. He doesn't use instagram too often and only had a few pictures of us. He kept the one from senior prom, but deleted the ones from our anniversaries, which hurts a lot but I understand. I also find myself constantly checking the activity page on instagram, to see if he is liking any other girls photos (none so far). I feel like the completely crazy, stalker ex girlfriend. I know its only been a few days since this happened, but my mind is on him 24/7 and it kills me to know that I am probably not on his. He is a very busy, optimistic person with a big family and support system, I am the complete opposite. I don't have many friends, and I am bad at making friends because I'm so shy and can't start conversation with people I don't know. All throughout highschool, I only had 2 girls that I hung out with every single day (one of which was his triplet sister), and there were 400+ students in our grade. I was looking forward to having him there to help me through my first few weeks of college and just have someone to tell me they love me and support me while I was lonely in my room. I feel like I am going to fail all my classes because he will be on my mind while I try to study. We took our relationship veryyy slowly (which is something everyone admired about us), we never even had sex. We were actually planning to in the upcoming week, but when he broke up with me he said he wasn't ready. That is totally fine because it would've been my first time too and I was scared, but I thought he wanted to. We've been talking about it for months and I thought he was ready. Again I don't mind at all that he wasn't ready but I'm just very confused and wondering if there is a lie somewhere. I have no idea how to handle this, I feel like I will never get over this agonizing pain. I love him so much and I will never stop loving him. The 4 happiest years of my life just vanished in 1 minute over text. He has some pretty typical teenage friends who are also staying local, and I know they will probably encourage him to try hooking up with people and such, and this thought is absolutely eating me up. I don't think I'll be the hookup type, especially after experiencing such an amazing relationship. One thing I loved about us being together so young was that he had nobody to compare me to. Now I'm afraid he'll compare me poorly to other girls, or any new guy in my life will compare me poorly to girls they have been with in the past. Sorry this is a jumbled mess, I just desperately needed to get my thoughts out. My mom and I have just been sitting on the couch crying together for the last few days. She said she always thought that maybe he would get me a promise ring before college, because thats just the type of guy he is (and sadly, I always thought that too). We've jokingly talked about getting married someday many times. Even a few months ago his mom told me that she hopes he will marry me and he gave me a huge hug because at that time his other feelings hadn't started yet. He's the sweetest most polite guy in the world and has always worshipped me since the day we met, and I don't know how to handle that it's over. I am already planning in my head how I am going to try to get him back in December, but I'm afraid all his feelings will be lost by then, or that he will already have somebody else. Edited August 11, 2016 by robloxppl title
juniorrocha Posted August 11, 2016 Posted August 11, 2016 I have no idea how to handle this, I feel like I will never get over this agonizing pain. I love him so much and I will never stop loving him. The 4 happiest years of my life just vanished in 1 minute over text. 1. You are 18. This really won't make a lot of sense to you right now, but you have sooooo much to live. Yes, right now it seems like he was the only one and that no one on Earth could replace him. But this will pass. Just be patient. Your life is just starting. 2. It's very, very common for couples your age to experience what he's feeling right now. He's young, he just turned 18, there's a whole world out there to explore. This also may not make a lot of sense to you now, but it is important to live this moment. It has nothing to do with how good you are. In fact, you should be glad he didn't cheat on you or carried this relationship while having these feelings. He was honest, that's something you should appreciate, even though it hurts. 3. Yes, it will be hard. And yes, it will take some time for you to finally get over him. Especially because it's your first time experiencing this. But you will get through this. And the first step is to start doing things for yourself. Work out, exercise, read a book, find a new hobby, improve at old hobbies, try something new, find new things in life to be happy about, get that new moment of your life that's just starting (college) and make the most out of it, make new friends. If you're ready, remove anything from your life that may remind you of him. Delete texts, put the things of you guys in a box and leave it there. You'll be fine. Grieve what you have to, then get up on your feet and start moving on. Each day is a victory and when the right time comes, you will be stronger for being able to go through this.
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