ajp1999 Posted August 11, 2016 Posted August 11, 2016 Just a debate that I have been having with a couple of friends. Does a re bound or new relationship right away help u get over an excruciating break up. ? What are your thoughts for or against starting a new relationship right away after a break up?? I have recently gone through a break up a couple months ago. Just curious as to what others have experienced having a relationship quickly after your break up???? I'm not taking hooking up but actually getting into a relationship. 1
FTM042014 Posted August 11, 2016 Posted August 11, 2016 I was the rebound not the rebounder. All I want to say is it's a horrible, painful experience for the one being used to help another nurse their wounds. It was one of the worst things I've been through. 1
Author ajp1999 Posted August 11, 2016 Author Posted August 11, 2016 Oh no. I'm so sorry. I'm talking about not trying to use someone but actually being honest about your prior relationship and being open about that with a new bf or gf. 1
SevenCity Posted August 11, 2016 Posted August 11, 2016 I think I've been on both sides. As stated, it sucks when you are the reboundee. I myself find it is very effective to getting over a breakup. It may not be nice, but it helps. Also, some "rebounds" actually last. 1
Satu Posted August 11, 2016 Posted August 11, 2016 In my opinion, rebound relationships are driven by Manic Defences. "Smallness, dependence, separateness, feeling you have injured your good object, are all fairly obvious to the eye and not easily denied if one is facing reality. But reality is pretty painful much of the time in childhood, even when you have an intact family that is living harmoniously. Most children naturally gravitate to wishful ideas, the most fundamental of all being the idea that there is magic, and you can have it and instantly erase all of the pains I just outlined. Every area of life that lends itself to the possibility that there might be magic will be seized for the use as magic. If I put on mom’s bra, it will magically give me breasts and I can feed myself. If I pick up daddy’s cordless drill, I will be able to do anything he can do, maybe even marry mom and be her husband." Source. A rebound relationship is used as a 'magical' charm to evade pain.
Blanco Posted August 11, 2016 Posted August 11, 2016 I'm usually so exhausted after a relationship ends that starting a new one is the last thing on my mind. My ex, on the other hand, has pretty much made finding The Next Guy a top priority whenever a relationship or casual thing ends. We're in our thirties and she's honestly probably been completely single (i.e. not seeing/talking to anyone) for maybe a total of less than a half a year in her adult life. Is it effective? I don't know. I think in the moment, it can mask the discomfort most breakups bring. But I can't help but think for most people who move on to the next relationship right away, there's emotional residue from the previous relationship left behind. I know there were plenty of times while I was with my now-ex where I thought she still had some unfinished business with the previous LT boyfriend. Your mileage may vary.
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