Girlfriend on Tinder

[hestheone66]

I believe in always being honest. We met on an hookup site to start with lol. He found me and I admitted. It's almost like a game. He has an account on cam4. I am incapable of lying as I just smirk or blush. I agree it is the dishonesty that is a deal breaker

[ty10]

I'm not going to lie, if I was you I'd have kicked off as soon as I found out the first time. Tinder is not necessarily a hook up app but is most definitely a dating app, she was seeing and speaking to other men behind your back - that is never acceptable.

 

I can only describe to you the rage I had when I found out my ex was using tinder a week after she broke up with me saying she didn't have time for a relationship. I mean that's rage when we were both single! So god knows how you didn't dump her first time round.

 

I can also describe to you a friend who was in a relationship who's GF saw he still had the app downloaded on his phone... he said he forgot but later admitted after he broke up with her that he was still using it to talk to other girls during their relationship/

 

Truth is she never saw any further potential with you and you deserve a hell of a lot better. Find someone better!

[The_Onceler]

Wow, this stinks. I am really sorry to hear that you are facing this.

 

I would have to agree with most here: A Tinder account is almost certainly related to infidelity in some fashion, especially if you did not know about it. It reminds me of my recent exchanges with my stbx. She announced that she wanted to separate, which took me by surprise. When I asked, she insisted that there was nobody else. Still, I struggled to understand, and when I started to see facebook and internet traffic between her and a man I did not know, I started to poke around.

 

I discovered on her phone some sexually explicit texts between them, as well as traces of shared erotic photos of themselves. I of course did not know the full extent of what was shared between them, but I saw some of it, and the evidence was clear.

 

Ever since then, when it would come up in our arguments, I could see her struggling to discover EXACTLY how much I was certain of, and the extent to which she could continue to lie, despite the fact that she had admitted to the online affair.

 

So, even though she had admitted to the affair, and admitted to sending inappropriate texts and pictures, it was STILL important to her that she only admit to the minimum that she had to.

 

Similarly, in our more distant past, I discovered emails where she had talked about how she needed to be drunk in order to hook up with a certain coworker. She insisted up, down, and sideways that she had been joking about how any girl would need to be drunk to get with that particular guy. However, in the end (after many, many denials and rationalizations), she admitted that, yes, she had been sleeping with him, and yes, she had needed to get drunk in order to do so.

 

Anyway, my point is, the truth about her Tinder use is probably as bad or worse than you imagine, but getting at the real truth will be like peeling an onion. Once you know that the onion is there, that alone stinks enough. If you keep peeling away the layers, it is only going to stink more and more. Spare yourself the pain, and just walk away now.

[lolablue17]

I have a Tinder account for business. But it's a fake account with a fake identity, and it is for real research, I also have membership in other dating apps.

 

My business are:

1. I develope a new dating app (which is totally unique).

2. I'm a writer.

 

My wife knows about it, and also I never hit on any girl (because I don't want to lie to them) and I appologize to girls who write me messages.

 

Anyway - people use Tinder only to hook up, and some want relationship. That's it! There isn't any other possible reason.

[heartbroken6]

Wow, this stinks. I am really sorry to hear that you are facing this.

 

I would have to agree with most here: A Tinder account is almost certainly related to infidelity in some fashion, especially if you did not know about it. It reminds me of my recent exchanges with my stbx. She announced that she wanted to separate, which took me by surprise. When I asked, she insisted that there was nobody else. Still, I struggled to understand, and when I started to see facebook and internet traffic between her and a man I did not know, I started to poke around.

 

I discovered on her phone some sexually explicit texts between them, as well as traces of shared erotic photos of themselves. I of course did not know the full extent of what was shared between them, but I saw some of it, and the evidence was clear.

 

Ever since then, when it would come up in our arguments, I could see her struggling to discover EXACTLY how much I was certain of, and the extent to which she could continue to lie, despite the fact that she had admitted to the online affair.

 

So, even though she had admitted to the affair, and admitted to sending inappropriate texts and pictures, it was STILL important to her that she only admit to the minimum that she had to.

 

Similarly, in our more distant past, I discovered emails where she had talked about how she needed to be drunk in order to hook up with a certain coworker. She insisted up, down, and sideways that she had been joking about how any girl would need to be drunk to get with that particular guy. However, in the end (after many, many denials and rationalizations), she admitted that, yes, she had been sleeping with him, and yes, she had needed to get drunk in order to do so.

 

Anyway, my point is, the truth about her Tinder use is probably as bad or worse than you imagine, but getting at the real truth will be like peeling an onion. Once you know that the onion is there, that alone stinks enough. If you keep peeling away the layers, it is only going to stink more and more. Spare yourself the pain, and just walk away now.

 

I'm sorry to hear about what happened. I do appreciate you telling me your story though. I guess if I dig deeper I will find out a lot more. I can learn from this.

[Mrin]

Look on the bright side though: at least you found out about her before taking the next step!

[Latino4Lyfe]

I have a Tinder account for business. But it's a fake account with a fake identity, and it is for real research, I also have membership in other dating apps.

 

My business are:

1. I develope a new dating app (which is totally unique).

2. I'm a writer.

 

My wife knows about it, and also I never hit on any girl (because I don't want to lie to them) and I appologize to girls who write me messages.

 

Anyway - people use Tinder only to hook up, and some want relationship. That's it! There isn't any other possible reason.

 

What he said lol.

 

Basically as soon as you enter a relationship, all those dating profiles better start being deactivated. Only exception is of course what is above.

[heartbroken6]

If somebody could knock some sense it to me, I would appreciate. Since our argument last week concerning her being on Tinder, I told her I need some time. But it is challenging because we live together. Since a week ago, she has been buying all these presents for me, cooking for me, and going out of her way.

 

Many people on this forum says she doesn't love me. Why would she be on Tinder if she did? But it seems like she loves me. Why would she be doing all of this for me to try to keep me? I'm just too confused. Again, knock a little sense into me, or the opposite. Is it really a big deal that she was on Tinder?

[kgcolonel]

How is your rent and other expenses paid...is it jointly or do you cover these?

 

If you're covering the expenses, those presents are cheaper than her having to pay her own way....she may see her gravy train pulling away.

 

Has she closed her account on Tinder? Also, has she given you access to her Social Media accounts?

[MightyPen]

If somebody could knock some sense it to me, I would appreciate. Since our argument last week concerning her being on Tinder, I told her I need some time. But it is challenging because we live together. Since a week ago, she has been buying all these presents for me, cooking for me, and going out of her way.

 

Many people on this forum says she doesn't love me. Why would she be on Tinder if she did? But it seems like she loves me. Why would she be doing all of this for me to try to keep me? I'm just too confused. Again, knock a little sense into me, or the opposite. Is it really a big deal that she was on Tinder?

 

Well, possibly some level of guilt, for one.

 

Perhaps more likely is that she's trying to lighten the mood and distract you from the more serious issues.

 

I mean, how many men throughout history have tried to wiggle out of a tough spot with 'the wife' by buying her a present, bringing her flowers, etc? It CAN mean "I'm sorry," but it doesn't necessarily mean that.

 

Have you checked Tinder again? Has she deleted her profile?

[ChickiePops]

If somebody could knock some sense it to me, I would appreciate. Since our argument last week concerning her being on Tinder, I told her I need some time. But it is challenging because we live together. Since a week ago, she has been buying all these presents for me, cooking for me, and going out of her way.

 

Many people on this forum says she doesn't love me. Why would she be on Tinder if she did? But it seems like she loves me. Why would she be doing all of this for me to try to keep me? I'm just too confused. Again, knock a little sense into me, or the opposite. Is it really a big deal that she was on Tinder?

 

I mean, if it's not that big a deal to you then don't let anyone talk you into making it one. For me (and most people I'd imagine) it's break up-worthy. No way is she using it for work if she felt the need to lie about it the first time, and she may or may not be sleeping with other men..or she could just be using it as an ego boost..who knows? She needs to get off of it NOW.

 

Have you actually had a conversation with her about it? Asked her why she lied the first time, and tell her you're not comfortable with it?

[lolablue17]

id you ask why is she working so hard to keep you? Well, she might love you. That's an option.

 

But at the same time, it might be her ego talking. Girls just can't stand being dumped. My long experience taught me that a girl can go very far for not being dumped, and right after she gets what she wants, she can easily dump you in days. It has happened to me more than once.

 

But then again. How can we tell? We just read you here and give a shallow reply to let you see other people's perspective.

[CarrieT]

Since a week ago, she has been buying all these presents for me, cooking for me, and going out of her way.

She is trying to assuage her guilt.

 

But it seems like she loves me.

Many people who are "in love" still cheat. One does not preclude the other. Her love for you may be true, but she is still deceptive and duplicitous.

 

Why would she be doing all of this for me to try to keep me?

Because you *are* safe and there and require little work to keep happy.

 

Is it really a big deal that she was on Tinder?

Yes, it is.

[Friskyone4u]

Buddy,

 

You can solve this Tinder problem real simply.

 

Tell your GF she needs to take a polygraph that will prove whether or not she has ACTIED on this hook up site. Once she turns as white as Casper The Ghost you will have your answer for sure.

 

You are playing ostrich here. Here cooking for you and buying you presents is MANIPULATION, as if the great SEX you are probably getting right now.

 

What you do know, and all that you know for sure, is that you GF is on a hook up site ( and maybe not the only one) and has LIED to you twice about it. Does that sound trustworthy to you.????

 

Now my advice to you is to let your brain ABOVE your waist take charge and find a new girlfriend. You can do better than this

 

And if you even enter a thought process of marrying this girl now you need to see an IC immediately before you make a monumental mistake.

[ExpatInItaly]

Yes, it is a big deal she was on Tinder.

 

Come on, man. She was on an app specifically designed to search for hookups and dates.

 

She is doing what a lot of cheaters do - trying to ease her guilt. The gifts and gestures now are not about her feelings towards you; they are all about her making herself feel better. She doesn't feel comfortable seeing herself as a cheater and liar, so she's over-compensating now and trying to prove to herself that she's a good person. Classic cheater move. My ex bought me a brand-new smartphone right before I found out he was having an affair. It means nothing in relation to their love for us.

 

She knows what she's been doing is very wrong. There is still probably more you don't know.

[heartbroken6]

How is your rent and other expenses paid...is it jointly or do you cover these?

 

If you're covering the expenses, those presents are cheaper than her having to pay her own way....she may see her gravy train pulling away.

 

Has she closed her account on Tinder? Also, has she given you access to her Social Media accounts?

 

She has closed her Tinder account. I didn't ask for access to her social media accounts, I suppose I should have. Nonetheless, we are ending our relationship so it doesn't matter anymore. Thanks for the feedback.

[heartbroken6]

Yes, it is a big deal she was on Tinder.

 

Come on, man. She was on an app specifically designed to search for hookups and dates.

 

She is doing what a lot of cheaters do - trying to ease her guilt. The gifts and gestures now are not about her feelings towards you; they are all about her making herself feel better. She doesn't feel comfortable seeing herself as a cheater and liar, so she's over-compensating now and trying to prove to herself that she's a good person. Classic cheater move. My ex bought me a brand-new smartphone right before I found out he was having an affair. It means nothing in relation to their love for us.

 

She knows what she's been doing is very wrong. There is still probably more you don't know.

 

You're right. She is with me everyday, so I never expected this.

[heartbroken6]

Buddy,

 

You can solve this Tinder problem real simply.

 

Tell your GF she needs to take a polygraph that will prove whether or not she has ACTIED on this hook up site. Once she turns as white as Casper The Ghost you will have your answer for sure.

 

You are playing ostrich here. Here cooking for you and buying you presents is MANIPULATION, as if the great SEX you are probably getting right now.

 

What you do know, and all that you know for sure, is that you GF is on a hook up site ( and maybe not the only one) and has LIED to you twice about it. Does that sound trustworthy to you.????

 

Now my advice to you is to let your brain ABOVE your waist take charge and find a new girlfriend. You can do better than this

 

And if you even enter a thought process of marrying this girl now you need to see an IC immediately before you make a monumental mistake.

 

About marrying the girl, we were close to it. It is the first girl I ever thought about marrying and I'm 39 years old. If it weren't for this, I believe we would have been engaged by the end of the year.

[heartbroken6]

She is trying to assuage her guilt.

 

 

Many people who are "in love" still cheat. One does not preclude the other. Her love for you may be true, but she is still deceptive and duplicitous.

 

 

Because you *are* safe and there and require little work to keep happy.

 

 

Yes, it is.

 

 

You are right. Somebody can still cheat on somebody they love.

[heartbroken6]

id you ask why is she working so hard to keep you? Well, she might love you. That's an option.

 

But at the same time, it might be her ego talking. Girls just can't stand being dumped. My long experience taught me that a girl can go very far for not being dumped, and right after she gets what she wants, she can easily dump you in days. It has happened to me more than once.

 

But then again. How can we tell? We just read you here and give a shallow reply to let you see other people's perspective.

 

The brings back a memory of my first serious girlfriend. I ended up breaking up with her and she tried to get me back. I missed her and forgot the reasons I broke up with her, took her back, then she dumped me for another guy.

[heartbroken6]

I mean, if it's not that big a deal to you then don't let anyone talk you into making it one. For me (and most people I'd imagine) it's break up-worthy. No way is she using it for work if she felt the need to lie about it the first time, and she may or may not be sleeping with other men..or she could just be using it as an ego boost..who knows? She needs to get off of it NOW.

 

Have you actually had a conversation with her about it? Asked her why she lied the first time, and tell her you're not comfortable with it?

 

We have been speaking a lot. I've told her that it was clear -- as it should have already been -- that being on Tinder was unacceptable in our relationship, that I couldn't believe she would download it again six months after the first discovery. She won't admit she lied. Her only admittance is that she did download it Tinder and claims it was for business. That is her story and she is sticking to it.

[PinkPampies]

My ex husband was like this before we got married. Although back then it was chat rooms. He always had an excuse and I was naive long story short, he cheated on me Our whole marriage. Delay your wedding plans or put on hold.

[LD1990]

You wanna know why she's sticking to her story? Because you don't have her dead to rights on anything else. She knows based on your previous conversations that all you've determined is that she downloaded Tinder multiple times. The Onceler mentioned how his ex would struggle to determine how much he knew so she could decide what lies she'd be able to get away with - I guarantee your girlfriend does the same. My ex did, as well, to the point where I'd start leading with only a bit of what I knew to see how much she'd lie about.

 

She's not going to change, and this isn't going to get better, she's only going to get better at hiding things. Here's what you need to do - figure out some gifts you want and some nice meals you want her to cook for you. If there's anything she was never in to sexually that you were dying to try, now's the time (hell, considering her little Tinder escapades, if I were you I'd be suggesting a threeway with her best friend or sister). Then dump her ass and kick her out, or you move out, but you're wasting your time with this girl. If she has had Tinder that long she most likely cheated at one time or another.

[ExpatInItaly]

You're right. She is with me everyday, so I never expected this.

 

I hear you. I lived with my ex for 6.5 years. It was going on right under my nose. I never would have expected it from him either.

 

She might be sticking to her story of using Tinder for business (which is still laughable) but you need to stick to your guns that she wasn't on there for work purposes. She wouldn't have hidden it otherwise.

 

This is the second time she's done this. It's up to you whether you want to continue a relationship with someone you know will lie directly to your face.

[BluesPower]

You need to dump her yesterday and don't look back. You sound fairly young and you will be able to find a girl that really loves and respects you.

 

She does not love you or respect you in any way. She is waiting to jump ship as soon as she finds a replacement.

 

Listen to what these people on LS tell you, most have been through this.

 

Fact of the matter is that she has, almost 100% sure, been hooking up with other guys while you are traveling for work. You may never find out for sure be it is almost certain.

 

Just move on and save yourself the heartache of trying to work it out, it is not worth it.

 

 

Good luck