Coping And With Autism

[WonderKid]

From the time I was 5 I realized I wasn't normal. I wasn't like other kids. And by my teens to my young adult years I realized it even more, in harsher ways.

 

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only 26 year old single guy; no kids, never married, no entourage, doesn't excel well in life. Me having autism makes it tougher. Especially socially. Every RS I had came from online. I'm not a bar/club person. I tried to force myself into that, but ended up feeling even worse.

 

I pretty much know I'm not going to go back to my ex again. She just had her own goals and I wasn't a part of them. I hate the fact that I was a great guy and yet she still found a way to separate from me. It starts to make me believe there is something wrong with me. And having autism just multiplies the affect. I realize the cold of this world, I just can't believe to process it. Autistic people view the world in a totally different way. Many see it as a blessing but it can be a curse.

 

I truly did want to find something real. But I don't think it will happen. Ever since the breakup I've found myself shutting my heart away, naturally. I see stories of people in 5 and 10 yr RS and their spouse just up and decides to leave. Who does that? It is so selfish. So wrong. It was done to me. And I felt bad about it, so I know for sure a person in a 5+ yr RS would be devastated.

 

I don't think I'll be right for a woman I like until I am in my mid 30s or something. I really don't think I'll date anymore. I think I got too jaded. I'm probably having a meltdown right now, which has been frequent, but this is also "me" as well. I know there's other people like me; who want something real, someone to love them for them, etc. But I just think the world doesn't have time for us.

 

A girl I thought was cool, we talked on the phone. Had a lot in common. Shared great interests. And we agreed on a meetup date yesterday. I get texts in the morning which is cool. But then she fell off the face of the earth.

NC for like 9hrs. When she texts me back, she says sorry but she's been stressing all day and lost her bus pass and has to work this morning.

 

Now this girl seemed pretty legit in finding something real. But I definitely think otherwise. She didn't even apologize for ditching the date. She apologized for being stressed, but not for keeping her word. Then I see her on a social app and CL offering HJs or BJs just to give her a ride to work in the AM.

That right there just told me I am done. At the end of the day, folks just don't care.

[Timshel]

Hi Wonderkid, I'm sorry that you're feeling so down about your break up and romance in general right now.

 

At 26, you do have so many years ahead of you and time does heal wounds. I wish I could say something more inspirational but this is at least the truth.

 

My son is on the spectrum, he is only 13 but is truly an exceptional human being. One day a woman will be very fortunate to have his heart.

 

I agree that life, at times, can be brutal....no person achieves a well lived life without enduring some pain, some even more than others. That's just the way it is.

 

Hang in there....I'm rooting for you.....things will get better.

[WonderKid]

I needed to read this. Thanks big time.