NIGHT1985 Posted August 10, 2016 Posted August 10, 2016 So I have a date with a pretty awesome woman this Thursday, and I couldn't be more excited. We have so much in common, but I'm a cancer and an introvert and she's a Gemini and very extroverted, which kind of makes me nervous. I've really only dated introverts in the past, not by choice, just kind of fell that way, so I'm sure this will bring some challenges. I'm pretty nervous, so I'm wondering if his guys have had experience dating polar opposites in personality traits and if they went for you?
basil67 Posted August 10, 2016 Posted August 10, 2016 My hubby is an extrovert and I'm an introvert. It can work if neither party is extreme in their introversion/extroversion and they know how to compromise. Good luck
Dis Posted August 10, 2016 Posted August 10, 2016 Oh wow. I'm a cancer and I dated a gemini in Feburary. He was an extrovert...I'm more of an introvert That relationship crashed and burned...I think he got bored that I was more introverted than him...that wasnt the reason for the break up but it didnt help I dont know if I believe in astrology whole heartedly but I def do to some degree...I think I'd be hesitant to date another gemini. Its a horrible match in terms of astrology...but that doesnt mean everything I think there needs to be a healthy balance between both partners...as long as you're willing to go out more often...and she's willing to stay in more often...it might work...but there needs to be some common ground
Mind-Chants Posted August 10, 2016 Posted August 10, 2016 I am an introvert and my GF is an extrovert. We are doing great. Been together for 7 years, living together for 5 and engaged. We have found our comfort zone where our mutual interests and personal interests are taken care of and there is no conflict between them. Yes initial days were quite confusing but things worked out great after that. But again our relationship started in an unconventional note. Everything was odd about it.
Erik30 Posted August 10, 2016 Posted August 10, 2016 In my own experience, it depends on the girl. (I'm an introvert) Some think it's cute, others think it's "boring" and want someone who is even more outgoing than them. I also need some time to loosen up around someone, (irl) and not everyone is willing to wait for that. 1
SwordofFlame Posted August 10, 2016 Posted August 10, 2016 I think it depends on if the woman or man wants someone who complements them or someone who's just like them in terms of personality.
Gaeta Posted August 10, 2016 Posted August 10, 2016 I think you have to date the opposite so to balance each other out. I am more of an introvert, the quiet type, I don't need to attract attention while in a group. I have always been with extrovert men who were highly social, comfortable in public settings, very talkative, etc. 2 introverts together must be the most boring couple to go out with or invite over for dinner lol. On the other hand a couple with 2 extroverts must be exhausting. Actually now that I think about it I know a couple they both are extrovert and ya, they're exhausting.
salparadise Posted August 10, 2016 Posted August 10, 2016 I think you have to date the opposite so to balance each other out. This can definitely work, sometimes preferred, but it's not a "have to." OP, do you know your MBTI types? Far more important than I/E is the S/N. A couple can be opposite on all of the axes except the 2nd and still be fine. A Sensor and an Intuitive tend not to be good matches because they experience the world differently.
Boomerangmagnet Posted August 10, 2016 Posted August 10, 2016 OP I think the dynamic between introverts and extroverts is a good one. Introverts have a tendency to listen. Extroverts have a tendency to talk. Good match there. Just make sure that when YOU have something to say that they are also willing to listen. 1
Vado Posted August 10, 2016 Posted August 10, 2016 It depends a bit, nobody is 100% introvert or extrovert; I'm in the middle a bit more intro than extro. I couldn't date a very high extro or xtreme intro; but everything in between is fine. 2
PrismOfLove Posted August 10, 2016 Posted August 10, 2016 I honestly think it just depends on the people themselves, blanket statements wont really work when it comes to introversion and extroversion. Some people get bored, some appreciate it, etc. As a major introvert my longest relationship is with a fellow introvert but I've had another introvert I liked tell me I wasn't extroverted enough for her. I'm sure it goes this way for extroverts as well. Also, I wouldn't put any thought into Astrology, it doesn't really mean much. This coming from an introverted Gemini. My advice is to not overthink anything and just go on the date and enjoy yourself. If it works out then it works out. Who knows, maybe your level of intro/extro will be just right for each other. Good luck OP! 1
scooby-philly Posted August 10, 2016 Posted August 10, 2016 It depends a bit, nobody is 100% introvert or extrovert; I'm in the middle a bit more intro than extro. I couldn't date a very high extro or xtreme intro; but everything in between is fine. I believe this quote to be the best advice thus far. On personality tests I used to come up as an E. Now I'm more borderline, and I'd wager that I'm really more and an I that's been forced to learn how to be an E in an E world. There's a TED Talk and 2 books by someone on the subject - Susan Cain - worth it for either type to listen / read. I know couples that are both E, know ones that are both Is, and know plenty that are mixed. The issues - as with any other of a dozen topics people regularly post about on here - is the people's compatibility in such an area and also their expectations/assumptions. The key traits for any good couple are communication & understanding. Two EE's may wear each other out if they don't have any common friends or interests and have to be constantly on the ball for their own stuff and then their partners. Two I's may get on each other's nerves if they don't know how to communicate what they expect from the other....so it all depends. To the OP - you have to just try it and also not be afraid to voice your concerns and feelings when the time comes. Don't change WHO you are - but for the right person you can always change WHAT you do or WHERE/WHEN you do it. 1
sarah999 Posted August 10, 2016 Posted August 10, 2016 I think it depends! I am pretty introverted and my guy is relatively extroverted. I talk a lot when I am with him, we can literally talk day and night. I did once go on a day long "date" with a really introverted guy and after about 1 hour we ran out of things to say. And I was trying to keep the convo going by asking questions and but yeah, it was just boring.
QueenDafine Posted August 11, 2016 Posted August 11, 2016 I'm naturally more introverted but I can be very extroverted, depending on the people I'm around and the situation. The same is with my boyfriend, he was introverted but he could easily be extroverted in most situations. In my experience I haven't had much success with extroverted guys as they seem to get bored easily and want an extroverted girl. An extroverted girl you shouldn't have a problem with, so long as you're not closed off and willing to talk about yourself confidently. Not sure on the star signs, my boyfriend is an Aries and I'm a Leo. Leo's and Aries' are supposed to be extroverted but me and my boyfriend are introverted. Good luck!
joseb Posted August 11, 2016 Posted August 11, 2016 Don't put too much emphasis on labels. According to Myers Briggs I'm an extrovert and most of my friends might agree, but if I had to chose I'd say I'm an introvert. Definitely don't put any stock on star signs. This will just result in you looking for things to fit your assumptions.
Bialy Posted August 11, 2016 Posted August 11, 2016 I'm a sociable, non-shy introvert. I connect really well when a person has a similar vibe. I don't really follow astrology, but for what it's worth - I'm a Gemini. I don't do well with ultra extroverts - the type of people who only really happy when they're surrounded by people often.
Author NIGHT1985 Posted August 11, 2016 Author Posted August 11, 2016 So I looked at her pics on Instagram and they look completely different than her pics on pof. On pof she had pics with very clever angles to hide her weight. The attraction level has definitely dropped a lot, but we agreed to meet up tonight, should I still go anyways?
Bialy Posted August 11, 2016 Posted August 11, 2016 So I looked at her pics on Instagram and they look completely different than her pics on pof. On pof she had pics with very clever angles to hide her weight. The attraction level has definitely dropped a lot, but we agreed to meet up tonight, should I still go anyways? Tough call. If your interest has plummeted, cancel now. Otherwise you will be wasting your time and hers. Another thought is to ask her if her profile photos are up-to-date --- and tell her you've had bad experiences in the past with people who don't have accurate photos. Tell her it's just a precaution you take. See what she says.
bellabean Posted August 12, 2016 Posted August 12, 2016 I am introverted and from my experience dating extroverts is a lot better. They make life so much more fun and an adventure! They push you to do things and have more fun when you rather just "watch tv and relax". Try it out!
Erik30 Posted August 12, 2016 Posted August 12, 2016 So I looked at her pics on Instagram and they look completely different than her pics on pof. On pof she had pics with very clever angles to hide her weight. The attraction level has definitely dropped a lot, but we agreed to meet up tonight, should I still go anyways? Let me guess, her pics on pof were all selfie headshots taken from a high angle... If there's a really big difference and you pretty much lost all attraction I would cancell. She knew what she was doing.
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