A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

August 13, 2016

I know I messed up...but I had an urge to check his fb page

He posted a pic of him at the beach....a girl commented and said, "damn thats one good photographer."

He liked her comment

She obvi went to the beach with him...maybe she was the one that he cheated on me with....I dont care about her....she has nothing to do with this....it just proves my point...she'll figure him out eventually...if she doesnt already know...shes just going to end up getting hurt...I feel bad for her...I have no hard feelings against her...I cant prove whether or not she knew...so as far as I'm concerned...she doesnt matter

When I saw that...I did my usual work...I did what I feel I need to do to take my power back...to take my control back...= retribution...I dont care that its wrong...I dont care....he used me....chewed me up and spit me out....I'm doing what I have to do now to show him I'm not a door mat....comment all you'd like....I couldnt care less

I dont know when that pic was taken....but I know...based on my gut...he had been cheating on me for quite awhile

One of you made a good point....and said there was nothing there anyway so why be mad....this is true....I never felt that deep connection to him...I never felt that magnetic pull to him...the thought of him with another woman doesnt make my skin crawl as it would have with my LT exs...it wouldve never worked out...with that said I wont allow someone to claim their loyalty to me only to stab me in the back

The reason you and him are not together is incompatibilty. You should have had stronger boundaries. Maybe him and her are better suited. It's none of your business what he does and who with. It's none of your concern if they get married and have kids. That was never on the cards for you and him because you are not compatible.

Focus on healing your open wounds. You had no business getting involved with man 1 and man 2. Focus on your health and wellbeing. Do some voluntary work in your community. Start growing some plants. Plan to complete a triathlon. Get plenty of sleep. drink lots of water. Look after your soul. Try ro get rid of the negativity that's festering in you, with new light and energy from focusing on goodness.

August 13, 2016

The reason you and him are not together is incompatibilty. You should have had stronger boundaries. Maybe him and her are better suited. It's none of your business what he does and who with. It's none of your concern if they get married and have kids. That was never on the cards for you and him because you are not compatible.

Focus on healing your open wounds. You had no business getting involved with man 1 and man 2. Focus on your health and wellbeing. Do some voluntary work in your community. Start growing some plants. Plan to complete a triathlon. Get plenty of sleep. drink lots of water. Look after your soul. Try ro get rid of the negativity that's festering in you, with new light and energy from focusing on goodness.

(The bold print) How was I supposed to prevent him from cheating on me??? How is him cheating on me my fault??? Come on Grisho....dont blame his infidetly on me

I agree....we were never meant to be together. I never had strong feelings for him. I dont feel a sense of loss. When I walked in on him I didnt lose anything. I dont want him back. I dont regret the fact it didnt work out

I dont care what happens between him and this girl now. Its not my business.

What I'm angry about is the fact that he asked me to be exclusive and cheated on me. What I'm angry about is him going behind my back with someone else when we were together. That pic on fb was taken when we were together. Thats why I was angry when I saw it

I have every right to be angry that someone claimed their loyalty to me only to stab me in the back. You can tell me not to be angry...but I'm human. Every person that gets cheated on feels betrayed and angry...its human nature

I dont care that it didnt work out. Like you said, we were incompatible...I didnt have strong feelings for him. But what I do care about is that someone stabbed me in the back and thought they would never have to suffer any consquences. What I care about is someone asking me to be in a relationship only for them to step outside of it later. What is the point in that???

And I do want to make it clear that had I not walked in on him he wouldve kept stringing me along...he wouldve kept up his acts of betrayl....he did it before (I did not realize that until I walked in on him...so no I did not know about it until I walked in on him)...he wouldve kept doing it. He wouldve kept hurting me...and I wouldve had no idea...I'm taking my power back

August 13, 2016

(The bold print) How was I supposed to prevent him from cheating on me??? How is him cheating on me my fault??? Come on Grisho....dont blame his infidetly on me

I agree....we were never meant to be together. I never had strong feelings for him. I dont feel a sense of loss. When I walked in on him I didnt lose anything. I dont want him back. I dont regret the fact it didnt work out

I dont care what happens between him and this girl now. Its not my business.

What I'm angry about is the fact that he asked me to be exclusive and cheated on me. What I'm angry about is him going behind my back with someone else when we were together. That pic on fb was taken when we were together. Thats why I was angry when I saw it

I have every right to be angry that someone claimed their loyalty to me only to stab me in the back. You can tell me not to be angry...but I'm human. Every person that gets cheated on feels betrayed and angry...its human nature

I dont care that it didnt work out. Like you said, we were incompatible...I didnt have strong feelings for him. But what I do care about is that someone stabbed me in the back and thought they would never have to suffer any consquences. What I care about is someone asking me to be in a relationship only for them to step outside of it later. What is the point in that???

And I do want to make it clear that had I not walked in on him he wouldve kept stringing me along...he wouldve kept up his acts of betrayl....he did it before (I did not realize that until I walked in on him...so no I did not know about it until I walked in on him)...he wouldve kept doing it. He wouldve kept hurting me...and I wouldve had no idea...I'm taking my power back

Easily answered, Dis. You should never have rekindled the relationship. That's why anything subsequently is incidental - any beautiful words on either part, any sex, and sleeping around... None of part 2 is why you are hurting. It's ludicrous to have played out a sequel with this man. You throw around words like boyfriend, girlfriend and relationship like confetti. You throw around words like betrayal, and phrases like "stabbed in the back", but you weren't betrayed by anyone but yourself, and noone stabbed you in the back. You've spent the last 2 or 3 months switching between boyfriend 1 and 2. You are acting like a scorned wife or long-term partner, and you are neither. Volunteer at a battered women's refuge or a hospice for the elderly to give yourself a boost of perspective and focus.

Frankly, since you are again jumping from realising the problem to wo is me, indicating you really aren't yet ready to heal, let me explain what I think would have happened had this nonsense this week not happened...

You'd have been extremely happy, proclaiming him the best thing ever for a few weeks, then would have naval gazed about why he doesn't stay in contact every moment of the day to your liking, then dumped him, only to in a month or so rinse and repeat (perhaps with boyfriend 2 on rotation in the downtime).

Until you are healed, you should not be involved with any men (same goes for any of is when we've open wounds).

August 13, 2016

I didnt have strong feelings for him.

I think you are lying to yourself with this one.

* Why did you get back with him if you did not have strong feelings?

* Why were you ready to deal with his lack of communication again if it weren't for having strong feelings for him?

* Why are you THIS much upset if you did not have strong feelings for him? Because he betrayed you? meh.....

I don't fully understand the chronology of your story. You got back with him, he promised exclusivity, and within a matters of days he stopped replying to your text and you found him in bed with another woman?

Are you skipping any part? There was a reason why he was not replying to your text, I think it was because your relationship was already over and you were going there in an attempt to patch things up

August 13, 2016

Easily answered, Dis. You should never have rekindled the relationship. That's why anything subsequently is incidental - any beautiful words on either part, any sex, and sleeping around... None of part 2 is why you are hurting. It's ludicrous to have played out a sequel with this man. You throw around words like boyfriend, girlfriend and relationship like confetti. You throw around words like betrayal, and phrases like "stabbed in the back", but you weren't betrayed by anyone but yourself, and noone stabbed you in the back. You've spent the last 2 or 3 months switching between boyfriend 1 and 2. You are acting like a scorned wife or long-term partner, and you are neither. Volunteer at a battered women's refuge or a hospice for the elderly to give yourself a boost of perspective and focus.

Frankly, since you are again jumping from realising the problem to wo is me, indicating you really aren't yet ready to heal, let me explain what I think would have happened had this nonsense this week not happened...

You'd have been extremely happy, proclaiming him the best thing ever for a few weeks, then would have naval gazed about why he doesn't stay in contact every moment of the day to your liking, then dumped him, only to in a month or so rinse and repeat (perhaps with boyfriend 2 on rotation in the downtime).

Until you are healed, you should not be involved with any men (same goes for any of is when we've open wounds).

I stand by my acceptance of the truth....I stand by every word you said in terms of my own issues and how I cant be in a healthy relationship right now. I never shouldve gotten back with him or been with him in the first place. By doing so I set myself up for failure.

I stand by my previous post that I have so much to work on before I can be in a healthy relationship...I'm not taking away from that

Getting back with him was a mistake...but it didnt justify him cheating on me

I still agree with what you said, and in my previous post where I accepted the truth...I just dont agree that I was the cause of his cheating

I am ready to heal and move forward....my post did not discredit my acceptance of my problems. I'm just still in the angry phase of all this. Which I think it normal

August 13, 2016

I think you are lying to yourself with this one.

* Why did you get back with him if you did not have strong feelings?

* Why were you ready to deal with his lack of communication again if it weren't for having strong feelings for him?

* Why are you THIS much upset if you did not have strong feelings for him? Because he betrayed you? meh.....

I don't fully understand the chronology of your story. You got back with him, he promised exclusivity, and within a matters of days he stopped replying to your text and you found him in bed with another woman?

Are you skipping any part? There was a reason why he was not replying to your text, I think it was because your relationship was already over and you were going there in an attempt to patch things up

Ya I hear you Gaeta...I cant really explain my behavior because it was so a** backwards.

I guess I'm upset because he lead me to believe I could trust him...and then out of nowhere he cheated on me. I would rather he had acted like the a**hole that he was...so I would know who I was really dealing with. But he acted so sweet and genuine...theres no way I couldve seen this coming. And he asked to be in a relationship with me....only to cheat on me later. I just dont understand his logic

And your run down (bold print) is correct

I didnt lose someone I was madly in love with or even felt strongly about...so I'm not upset that it didnt work out. I'm upset that he made me feel safe...only for me to find out how unsafe I really was with him

And I know I'm acting like I'm really hurt over this...but I'm not...I'm just angry.

If I had been with him for years and loved him with every fiber of my being....then I'd be hurt. But because we were only together for a short time and I didnt have strong feelings for him....I'm not really hurt...just pissed

And yes...I dont know why I got back with him if I wasnt really feeling him...maybe I was lonley

August 13, 2016

Aw, you need some snuggles.

There's no script for this stuff so just go. The only thing I'd caution on is thinking anything will happen fast - usually doesn't work like that, either big picture or little picture. Life lessons usually take a while to actually assimilate and making strides doesn't usually happen overnight. So let yourself feel crappy and don't think you have to turn it all around tomorrow ....it's all part of the process.

And btw yes, your writing really is quite good.

Thanks for the compassion boo! I guess you're right....theres no manual for this type of thing. Its just a process that I have to figure out on my own. I know it'll take alittle while...but I think I'll get past this quickly because I was far from crazy about him. If he had been with me for years and we had an amazing deep connection....then ya....it would take awhile to heal

I'm just more pissed than anything. Pissed that he pretended to be a good guy....he was a great pretender....he had me fooled and that pisses me off

And thank you so much for the compliment about my writing! That mean alot And I do need hugs and snuggles!! ...feeling kind of vunerable...and I dont like feeling that way. Physical affection always feeds my soul...wont be getting that for awhile

August 13, 2016

Getting back with him was a mistake...but it didnt justify him cheating on me

Sleeping with someone else is incidental. You were not compatible. If you'd had stronger boundaries after round 1, you'd never have gone through any of the nonsense that came in round 2.

How many days had you been back together as boyfriend and girlfriend this time? This is an important aspect, because you are throwing around the word "cheating", when it has no place in this scenario, because it's all so meaningless and needlessly dramatic. Even if you'd had good reasons to consider tangling yourself up with this man again, you had no business jumping right back to where you left off in the quasi-relationship/boyfriend-girlfriend merry-go-round. The sensible thing to do would have been to focus on building a friendship with him for a month.

I still agree with what you said, and in my previous post where I accepted the truth...I just dont agree that I was the cause of his cheating

You cheated yourself. It's of no consequence to you at all why he was in bed with someone else, and whether he's in love with her or whatever else, because you 2 are incompatible together. It was always only a matter of time before the bell rang again concluding that round, and then rang again starting the next. Nothing of substance was established between you.

I'm just still in the angry phase of all this. Which I think it normal

Be angry with yourself, because all of this was preventable, and you weren't looking after yourself by hopping on and off all of these emotional rollercoasters. Do things to change your life and mentality for the positive. Learn 2 new languages every 6 months, make cards for each your friends explaining why you're thankful you have them as a friend, jog in the fresh air every morning, offer the hand of friendship to local refugees, swim in natural water, meditate every day...

August 13, 2016

Sleeping with someone else is incidental. You were not compatible. If you'd had stronger boundaries after round 1, you'd never have gone through any of the nonsense that came in round 2.

How many days had you been back together as boyfriend and girlfriend this time? This is an important aspect, because you are throwing around the word "cheating", when it has no place in this scenario, because it's all so meaningless and needlessly dramatic. Even if you'd had good reasons to consider tangling yourself up with this man again, you had no business jumping right back to where you left off in the quasi-relationship/boyfriend-girlfriend merry-go-round. The sensible thing to do would have been to focus on building a friendship with him for a month.

You cheated yourself. It's of no consequence to you at all why he was in bed with someone else, and whether he's in love with her or whatever else, because you 2 are incompatible together. It was always only a matter of time before the bell rang again concluding that round, and then rang again starting the next. Nothing of substance was established between you.

Be angry with yourself, because all of this was preventable, and you weren't looking after yourself by hopping on and off all of these emotional rollercoasters. Do things to change your life and mentality for the positive. Learn 2 new languages every 6 months, make cards for each your friends explaining why you're thankful you have them as a friend, jog in the fresh air every morning, offer the hand of friendship to local refugees, swim in natural water, meditate every day...

Ok...all of this is very true. I never shouldve gotten back with him..and diving head first when I did was a big mistake. I did dive right back in because he said he wanted to. But....I will note this...a big mistake I made...when I told him I just wanted to hang out....he thought I would still have sex with him....I told him I dont have sex outside of a relationship....so dont you know it, the next time we hung out he said he wanted a relationship with me...he was thinking "If I ask her to be in a relationship with me, then she'll have sex with me." God I was so stupid for not seeing that!!!!! Ughhh!!!!

Yup you're right again

I do want so say something important......I have been doing something unethical...to him. Today I talked to another ____ who follows the same path as me. She said I needed to stop. So I'm taking everything apart tonight.

Tomorrow is the day for success and peace. So after undoing everything tonight....I will be working for peace, tranquility and love tommorow.

I've done damage that I am not proud of....its time to stop. I need to focus on my own peace and love. That starts tomorrow. I will start to heal tomorrow.

I'm angry with myself for getting in this situtation to begin with and for crossing ethical lines I never thought I'd cross.

I'm taking apart everything I've done for the past 4 nights....and I'm going to start to work for peace, love and tranquilty

Enough with vengance....the time for peace is now

August 13, 2016

Ya I hear you Gaeta...I cant really explain my behavior because it was so a** backwards.

I guess I'm upset because he lead me to believe I could trust him...and then out of nowhere he cheated on me. I would rather he had acted like the a**hole that he was...so I would know who I was really dealing with. But he acted so sweet and genuine...theres no way I couldve seen this coming. And he asked to be in a relationship with me....only to cheat on me later. I just dont understand his logic

And your run down (bold print) is correct

I didnt lose someone I was madly in love with or even felt strongly about...so I'm not upset that it didnt work out. I'm upset that he made me feel safe...only for me to find out how unsafe I really was with him

And I know I'm acting like I'm really hurt over this...but I'm not...I'm just angry.

If I had been with him for years and loved him with every fiber of my being....then I'd be hurt. But because we were only together for a short time and I didnt have strong feelings for him....I'm not really hurt...just pissed

And yes...I dont know why I got back with him if I wasnt really feeling him...maybe I was lonley

Well, a couple of thoughts.

1. I think it is absolutely justified for you to feel anger towards him cheating. I do agree that you never should have been back w Guy #1 in the first place, but I think that is a separate issue from your feelings of anger towards Guy #1 cheating.

2. The stuff I put in bold, the same way you are feeling right now--lead-on, confused, angry, used--due to Guy #1's actions of making you feel safe and then suddenly turning on you, is pretty much the same way that the guys YOU flip-flop on tend to end up feeling. I get that you aren't cheating, and that is big. But having someone act really into you and dive into things and then dump you (pretty much) for someone else, as your behaviour looks to Guy #2, also sucks. He may have been feeling anger towards YOU, just as you are angry w Guy #1. And that would be quite understandable too. It is a big reason why we are all telling you that your flip-flopping/going to extremes is a serious problem that needs to be fixed, not just for yourself and your heart, but also so that the next deserving guy you date, is justified in feeling safe with you.

I think you already get this, but I do think it is worth pointing out again.

Edited August 13, 2016 by Imajerk17

August 13, 2016

I do want so say something important......I have been doing something unethical...to him. Today I talked to another ____ who follows the same path as me. She said I needed to stop. So I'm taking everything apart tonight.

Tomorrow is the day for success and peace. So after undoing everything tonight....I will be working for peace, tranquility and love tommorow.

I've done damage that I am not proud of....its time to stop. I need to focus on my own peace and love. That starts tomorrow. I will start to heal tomorrow.

I'm angry with myself for getting in this situtation to begin with and for crossing ethical lines I never thought I'd cross.

I'm taking apart everything I've done for the past 4 nights....and I'm going to start to work for peace, love and tranquilty

Enough with vengance....the time for peace is now

I've stayed quiet on this thread but now I just can't help myself.

I'm curious to know: what does going about working toward "peace, love and tranquility" look like to you? What exactly are you going to do?

I dunno, the way you're saying it, it sounds funny to me. I don't really care what this mystery religion you practice is, but I do care about you being an ethical person. Everyone seems to have forgotten about whatever it is you've done to him, and I doubt you'd be receiving all the sympathy you've gotten if you'd have spelled out what it is.

That said, I'm not suggesting you do so. However, I'm still curious to know what you mean when you say, "tomorrow is for peace and success." Are you thinking that those things can be achieved in one day? I agree that you should stop acting unethically, but you won't ever be able to fully purge the propensity and capacity for vengefulness; no one can. That's an unfortunate byproduct of being human. ALL humans have the capacity for good and for evil. It's not something you can just turn off and on.

Seriously. I'm baffled.

August 14, 2016

I've stayed quiet on this thread but now I just can't help myself.

I'm curious to know: what does going about working toward "peace, love and tranquility" look like to you? What exactly are you going to do?

I dunno, the way you're saying it, it sounds funny to me. I don't really care what this mystery religion you practice is, but I do care about you being an ethical person. Everyone seems to have forgotten about whatever it is you've done to him, and I doubt you'd be receiving all the sympathy you've gotten if you'd have spelled out what it is.

That said, I'm not suggesting you do so. However, I'm still curious to know what you mean when you say, "tomorrow is for peace and success." Are you thinking that those things can be achieved in one day? I agree that you should stop acting unethically, but you won't ever be able to fully purge the propensity and capacity for vengefulness; no one can. That's an unfortunate byproduct of being human. ALL humans have the capacity for good and for evil. It's not something you can just turn off and on.

Seriously. I'm baffled.

Hi LA. I understand where your coming from. I do not....in any way.... expect to find peace, love and tranqulity in one day. I'm just going to start working towards it.

I'm really hesistant to come out and say it....but I guess I've been vague for long enough...hopefully you will all understand and try not to judge

I'm pagan, wiccan...I'm a witch

I've been practicing witchcraft with great success since I was 18. I have never practiced unethical witchcraft until now....when I walked in on him cheating...the promise I made myself to never do harm....well it flew out of the window...so for 4 nights I have been....you know

I talked to another witch who owns a wiccan shop by my house...I told her what I was doing and that I felt awful for doing it....I gave her a picture of him because I knew she'd be able to read him. She said, "Oh he's a cocky little b*satrd, karma is going to severly wound him. But I can tell you, you need to stop doing what you're doing, you've made your point. Go home and smudge your whole house and yourself. Stop doing this now."

Smudging means burning sage to cleanse yourself, your home and whoever you were doing a spell on

That smacked some sense into me. So I'm taking everything apart tonight. I cant undo the damage I've already done. But I can stop myself from doing further damage to him.

The woman also told me to work for love, peace and tranquilty tomorrow. We use the days of the week, colors, herbs, and moon phases as correspondences for our work. Sunday is the day for success and peace. So I will start to right my wrongs tomorrow.

But tonight I have to undo everything. I'm very disappointed in myself for crossing ethical lines....I never thought I'd do that. But when a witch walks in on her bf cheating....all bets are off. But even so...it does not begin to justify what I did to him...no one needs to tell me how badly I've screwed up...I already know

This is me exposing everything to you guys...my religion....my mistakes....and my effort to make things right again...I'm a witch but I'm very much human...I f*ck up....I really did in this case

I know I have hurt him...and no matter what he did to me...I had no right to do that

In hurting him I was keeping myself from healing (as many of you mentioned). I'm undoing everything tonight so I can not only free him...but start to heal myself

I dont know if I'll regret telling you all this...but here it is

August 14, 2016

Woah- seriously??? I figured you posted something bad on Facebook so his mom could see it, or sent a message to the other girl or..idk something. I'm not judging at all, I know nothing about witchcraft. Just, wow. Now I'm wondering if someone has cast spells on me. How do you know if your spells work?

Anyway about retribution...yes it's unhealthy for all the reasons other people have mentioned. Though I've been told that it is healthy to express anger towards someone who's hurt you instead of holding it in. I think though, and this is just a wild guess, that your anger is probably really rooted in another relationship or relationships, with someone else and not this guy.

August 14, 2016

I figured you practiced wicca from what you said on the first page of this thread and some other things later on.

So I have a question about that:

If you cast a revenge spell onto someone isn't that just calling negative energy back onto you? I am not sure how those things work but I would think that if you use your powers to do harm it would attract the wrong kind of energy your way wouldn't it?

What kind of karmic things can you do to influence him in a negative way? I mean I believe in karma and when I read your original post I was going to say don't worry karma takes care of everything in the long run but karma from the universe for your actions..not self-induced karma. Do you really have the kind of influence over others? wow!

I disagree with those that say you brought was this guy did onto yourself, he wanted commitment he wanted to you two to be exclusive, he cheated on you regardless of whether you were "incompatible" or not. You can't be to blame for his lies and I feel your pain about walking on him as you did.

Edited August 14, 2016 by Sunkissedpatio

August 14, 2016

I dont know if I'll regret telling you all this...but here it is

Wow! Well at least we live in reasonably civilised times so you don't need to worry about "coming out" about it as much as you would, say, 400 years ago!!

I'm the last person to defend cheating, but I think in this case your relationship was so wishy washy, back and forth, on-off that for me it doesnt quite constitute a serious level of wrong doing compared to what I think of as cheating.

So to me I think your reaction is over the top.

Good that you have decided to try to let it go.

August 14, 2016

I had a pretty extraordinary night tonight...very magickal

There has been a thunder and lightening storm going on all night here....which is great for magic

I did a spell to banish all negativity and to to disassemble the object that I was using to hurt him

I relinquished my control over him and released all negativity...took a few hours but I could feel the weight lifting as the spell went on...I didnt realize how extremely detrimental my work was until it started to dissipate

At midnight I gathered up every object associated with the unethical magic I did on him...and went outside...It was pouring...lightening illuminated the sky...thunder boomed in my ears

I burried everything and sealed it

I stood out in the rain and asked the God and Goddess for forgiveness....I know I abused my power...I know I wrong....I stood out in the rain for awhile saying my prayers...hoping they can forgive me

I came inside and felt a sense of cleanliness I dont think I've ever felt before

In all this anger...I forgot there are so many good things to magickally work for....why waste my time on hate...I'm going to get back to my roots and work for love, peace and the people I love

By letting my anger go...I'm healing myself...I think Grisho said it would feel like a rebirth....it does....dont get me wrong I've barely started yet....but this is a good beginning

( *

August 14, 2016

Thanks for the compassion boo!

lol "boo." All kindsa lovin' for ya baby girl.

August 14, 2016

Woah- seriously??? I figured you posted something bad on Facebook so his mom could see it, or sent a message to the other girl or..idk something. I'm not judging at all, I know nothing about witchcraft. Just, wow. Now I'm wondering if someone has cast spells on me. How do you know if your spells work?

Anyway about retribution...yes it's unhealthy for all the reasons other people have mentioned. Though I've been told that it is healthy to express anger towards someone who's hurt you instead of holding it in. I think though, and this is just a wild guess, that your anger is probably really rooted in another relationship or relationships, with someone else and not this guy.

I figured you practiced wicca from what you said on the first page of this thread and some other things later on.

So I have a question about that:

If you cast a revenge spell onto someone isn't that just calling negative energy back onto you? I am not sure how those things work but I would think that if you use your powers to do harm it would attract the wrong kind of energy your way wouldn't it?

What kind of karmic things can you do to influence him in a negative way? I mean I believe in karma and when I read your original post I was going to say don't worry karma takes care of everything in the long run but karma from the universe for your actions..not self-induced karma. Do you really have the kind of influence over others? wow!

I disagree with those that say you brought was this guy did onto yourself, he wanted commitment he wanted to you two to be exclusive, he cheated on you regardless of whether you were "incompatible" or not. You can't be to blame for his lies and I feel your pain about walking on him as you did.

Wow! Well at least we live in reasonably civilised times so you don't need to worry about "coming out" about it as much as you would, say, 400 years ago!!

I'm the last person to defend cheating, but I think in this case your relationship was so wishy washy, back and forth, on-off that for me it doesnt quite constitute a serious level of wrong doing compared to what I think of as cheating.

So to me I think your reaction is over the top.

Good that you have decided to try to let it go.

Hi guys! Thanks for being kind about my religion....after I did what I did I know it could be easy to judge

AMJ, that was so funny girly Most witches dont bother doing spells on people unless they've done something very very wrong. I've had poeple screw me over in other capacities but I've never done unethical magic on them....it takes alot to push us over the edge so dont wory about that

AMJ and SKP, by doing unethical magic on him....I too can be harmed. We dont have many laws or rules we have to abide by in the Wiccan religion....but the main one is, "Ever mind the rule of three, what ye does comes back to thee." This is the reason I never practiced unethical magic before...I dont want to hurt myself in the process of hurting someone else...but I let my anger get in the way this time. I will be focusing on postitive workings in the coming days....with the hopes that I can do good for myself and others while also redeeming myself. I have felt some effects of what I did to him the past couple days....its a hard feeling to describe but its kind of an anxious, ominous feeling. Not fun. Now that I've dismantled everything I feel much much better...but I have alot of work to do to make things right again

You both asked how do I know if my magic is working. Magic never works if we doubt our workings. If we begin to doubt the outcome of our magic it creates a spiritual roadblock that prevents it from working. So we learn over time to...believe....believe...believe. It becomes second nature. We as humans have no idea what we are truly capable of...the power that lives inside of us. Once we harness that power....anything and everything is possible as long as we are imaginative and have blind faith in our own personal power. Also, once I did a couple spells...back when I was first starting out more than 10 years ago....I was able to see tangible evidence that my spells worked...so years later, dozens of successful spells later....I have no reason to doubt my work and every reason to believe it will succeed.

You're right joseb, I blew it out of proportion. On a different note, you'd be surprised how many people are still oppossed to wicca/witchcraft

Please know that in the 10 plus years I've practiced witchcraft...this is the first time I've ever done unethical witchcraft. 99% of my workings have been intended for healing, prosperity, protection etc etc

I have lots of good intentions to work for now

(Also, thank you SKP. I know I made a mistake by getting back with him but I didnt deserve to be cheated on. But its in the past now. The anger is gone )

August 14, 2016

Now I just want to know more about this magic. Can anyone be a witch? I want to cast a few spells

August 14, 2016

Well this went from 0-100 REALLY FAST!

August 16, 2016

I'm doing well...But I find myself feeling the need to get answers

Everytime I have closed the door on a relationship in the past...I never needed answers...I gave myself the closure I needed...but this time its different

I know this is bad....I know...but I feel like I want to know what I did to him

I've been using divination techniques so I have some answers....but I want to know for sure....with 100% certainty

I've never done this before....I've never needed answers

I guess this was just a big blow to my ego

I feel alittle stuck

August 16, 2016

I hope this doesn't turn into another closure debate, BUT ....it's just human nature to want to know why. Don't beat yourself up for that.

August 16, 2016

I hope this doesn't turn into another closure debate, BUT ....it's just human nature to want to know why. Don't beat yourself up for that.

Thanks boo I'll try to be more patient with myself

Edited August 16, 2016 by Disillusionment373

August 16, 2016

I'm pagan, wiccan...I'm a witch

I've been practicing witchcraft with great success since I was 18.

That cool - I'm interested in alternative arts. Never looked into witch craft specifically but would be interested to know how did you get into these areas to begin with and what do you usually use the witch craft for exactly ? I had an old housemate and she was a school teacher but also described herself as "witchy on the side" and would have people come around to the house usually for treatment of illnesses. She must have got results as we had people regularly visiting.

The stuff I put in bold, the same way you are feeling right now--lead-on, confused, angry, used--due to Guy #1's actions of making you feel safe and then suddenly turning on you, is pretty much the same way that the guys YOU flip-flop on tend to end up feeling. I get that you aren't cheating, and that is big. But having someone act really into you and dive into things and then dump you (pretty much) for someone else, as your behaviour looks to Guy #2, also sucks. He may have been feeling anger towards YOU, just as you are angry w Guy #1. And that would be quite understandable too.

I think you already get this, but I do think it is worth pointing out again.

Also just wanted to repost what Imajerk posted here as I think this is on point. This here ^^^ is my interpretation of karma. What we do to others tends to eventually get reflected back at us. We tend to attract the energy we put out. How we then deal with this shapes our future karma. Hopefully it teaches us a lesson about our own behavior and we change - if we refuse to learn the lesson however we will continue to experience the same thing on repeat. You see people who are almost in negative feedback loops because they can't break the cycle. Like Imajerk said - I think you get this but in my opinion the key to solving your problems lies in consciously acknowledging this was your Karma to experience and now you understand how your previous partners felt and you will learn from it for future relationships.

Enough with vengance....the time for peace is now

Sounds like you are in a much better place then when this thread started

August 16, 2016

Hi LA. I understand where your coming from. I do not....in any way.... expect to find peace, love and tranqulity in one day. I'm just going to start working towards it.

I'm really hesistant to come out and say it....but I guess I've been vague for long enough...hopefully you will all understand and try not to judge

I'm pagan, wiccan...I'm a witch

I've been practicing witchcraft with great success since I was 18. I have never practiced unethical witchcraft until now....when I walked in on him cheating...the promise I made myself to never do harm....well it flew out of the window...so for 4 nights I have been....you know

I talked to another witch who owns a wiccan shop by my house...I told her what I was doing and that I felt awful for doing it....I gave her a picture of him because I knew she'd be able to read him. She said, "Oh he's a cocky little b*satrd, karma is going to severly wound him. But I can tell you, you need to stop doing what you're doing, you've made your point. Go home and smudge your whole house and yourself. Stop doing this now."

Smudging means burning sage to cleanse yourself, your home and whoever you were doing a spell on

That smacked some sense into me. So I'm taking everything apart tonight. I cant undo the damage I've already done. But I can stop myself from doing further damage to him.

The woman also told me to work for love, peace and tranquilty tomorrow. We use the days of the week, colors, herbs, and moon phases as correspondences for our work. Sunday is the day for success and peace. So I will start to right my wrongs tomorrow.

I'm not a wiccan, but I did have an interest in this sort of thing when I was younger. When a family member was sued, I admit, I went to a store, to see if there was anything I could do to protect my family (but the way I see it is that I was doing something that made me feel better - like I was doing *something* however small, since I couldn't control the outcome). The woman gave me a purple candle and a couple of things to make an oil out of, to rub onto the candle, but I ended up not doing it - I was afraid the oil would do something to it, and burn the house down. I've tried smudging the house in the past (five years ago), but I'm afraid it seemed like our luck grew a lot worse after that, not better. The worst years of my adult life have been the past 4-1/2 years.

If you can calm yourself, and find a way to deal with this that has nothing to do with him - and you successfully distance yourself from him, and end up happier than ever, you "win" no matter what's he's done, or will have or do in the future. I would have been a lot better off if someone hadn't affected me so much in the past.

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