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I broke up with her and am wondering if it was the right choice

jerrygordon3

By jerrygordon3
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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jerrygordon3 Established Member

jerrygordon3

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I broke up with my gf about two weeks ago after endless drama. immediately afterwards I realized I really needed space and time to think about things. I really made an effort to put major distance between us on thursday after we tried hanging out and she was still just all about the fighting and drama, and acting like I owed her stuff and had to be on my knees...Since then she has been texting and calling. when we speak on the phone she sobs and begs and cries and is honestly devastated. I've tried just making it clear that the fighting and drama amongst other issues are too much and I'm burnt out. I almost feel like Im doing the wrong thing because no girl calls and sobs and begs this much. I've NEVER broken up with a girl before. Let me clarify. A girl I actually loved and spent a considerable amount of time with ( 2 years) . Thus far, this is my longest to date relationship. What the heck am I supposed to do?

Bialy Established Member

Bialy

Posted
Posted

You need space to clear your mind and refocus. Avoid her - she is too negative and inciting drama.

 

Is there any way for you to avoid her and not communicate with her? Remove her from access to your social media. And just avoid her in person.

 

Do you two have mutual friends?

  • Like 1
Redhead14 Established Member

Redhead14

Posted
Posted
I broke up with my gf about two weeks ago after endless drama. immediately afterwards I realized I really needed space and time to think about things. I really made an effort to put major distance between us on thursday after we tried hanging out and she was still just all about the fighting and drama, and acting like I owed her stuff and had to be on my knees...Since then she has been texting and calling. when we speak on the phone she sobs and begs and cries and is honestly devastated. I've tried just making it clear that the fighting and drama amongst other issues are too much and I'm burnt out. I almost feel like Im doing the wrong thing because no girl calls and sobs and begs this much. I've NEVER broken up with a girl before. Let me clarify. A girl I actually loved and spent a considerable amount of time with ( 2 years) . Thus far, this is my longest to date relationship. What the heck am I supposed to do?

 

What the heck am I supposed to do? Stop responding and hanging out with her PERIOD. Go NO CONTACT. Block her number, delete her number.

 

no girl calls and sobs and begs this much -- You're letting your ego be stroked . . . by responding and listening to it . . . you don't feel like you're doing the wrong thing . . . you're just thinking that she must be the one for you and that you're so great that she can't let go. The truth is that she just isn't very mature and/or is so desperate to have someone in her life she will disrespect herself and embarrass herself to keep them. You are right to let her go, she would be a problem for a long time.

dpass Established Member

dpass

Posted
Posted

Stop talking to her! Stop calling. Stop texting. Stop hanging out. It's done so leave it done.

 

You are using her as an ego boost by her begging for you back and stringing her along in the process.

 

You need to go no contact, you cannot try to go back to being friends that soon after a break up in most cases. Sometimes never.

  • Like 2
Toodaloo Established Member

Toodaloo

Posted
Posted
What the heck am I supposed to do?

 

Ignore her calls, ignore her texts.

 

Stay away.

 

Simples.

  • 4 weeks later...
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jerrygordon3 Established Member

jerrygordon3

Posted
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Posted (edited)

My gf and I have had a lot of problems for the two years we have been together but, most has been worked out. However, although we are friends and I love her I started realizing I wasn't happy being in a relationship where I was always feeling like I was in a choke hold. Shes uncomfortable with so much it's hard to avoid an arguement. long talks, fighting, hours upon hours.

 

I have ended things numerous occasions only for her to sob and cry, beg and plead to get me back. She always persists. This time though I really made it clear I was done.

 

Now, moving on, she is still persistent.

 

I love her, and have never been with someone where I wanted a future with, and she's super model gorgeous, but just sort of HIGH maintenance.

 

Now I don't know what to do.

 

The best case scenario, she offered to take things slow and to "slow things down"

part of me is just remembering the good and it's making me want to be back together with her. I dont know what to do?

Edited by jerrygordon3
Blanco Established Member

Blanco

Posted
Posted

What you should do is go back and read the 4,000 threads you've started about this awful relationship and heed some of the advice in those that you seem to have ignored/overlooked.

 

Amazing what some dudes will put up with for a "super model gorgeous" woman.

  • Like 1
Densel Established Member

Densel

Posted
Posted

Please tell her to calm down first then talk.

 

She needs to know why the relationship is not working out.

kidm Established Member

kidm

Posted
Posted

This breakup should have happened a long time ago. Hope this is final. The relationship was TOXIC (understatement). Go back and reread your previous threads. I don't care if she looks like the hottest summer model on the planet, relationships are built on more than just looks! Remember this saying: No matter how beautiful she is, someone... somewhere is tired of her ****. Onward!

Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

Posted
Posted (edited)

If you really care about her, go to counseling with her, but speak to the therapist beforehand and let the therapist know that you're bringing "her" to get treatment - not you and/or the relationship.

 

A good therapist can look at the couple and see/suggest that individual counseling take place.

 

So, once the counselor breaks her off into separate sessions, hopefully she can get help.

 

Cuz, she seems to have a void in her life and you're the only thing filling it (for now). Cuz we're all sad after a break up and yes, after investing two years with someone, we may wanna be hesitant about just throwing it away. But if she just wants you back and won't acknowledge that there are irreconcilable differences (i.e. you don't want kids), why be with you if you guys got issues? That means that she just wants to be with "anybody" and that's an issue. Maybe cuz she's so hot, she doesn't take rejection well (cuz she thinks she can have whatever she wants) and that's bad too.

 

Either way, she needs help and if you really care about her get the therapist

Edited by Gloria25
Zahara Established Member

Zahara

Posted
Posted
What you should do is go back and read the 4,000 threads you've started about this awful relationship and heed some of the advice in those that you seem to have ignored/overlooked.

 

Amazing what some dudes will put up with for a "super model gorgeous" woman.

 

I agree with Blanco. I went back to your thread history. This is the epitome of insanity -- doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

 

You had to point out her supermodel looks. Maybe you need to examine what's truly important in a relationship and what entails to sustain it. What kind of future do you see having with someone where you've had to come to a forum constantly feeling unbalanced in your relationship? I think the future you see is one that you've built in your head from hope and denial rather than one that is based on reality.

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