COOLRYANEXPRESS Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 My girlfriend of 9.5 years left me 6 months ago. No cheating by me was involved. She just recently came back home to me 2 weeks ago. I found out through a friend of hers that she dated at least 3 guys while we were apart. One guy she flew to Chicago to see (I'm in California). She stayed a week with him and blocked me from her phone while she was gone. I didn't know any of this until July. We bought a house together 3 years ago....well we used my income and credit and put it in my name and I have made all payments. She insists she wants to add her name to the title through a grant deed. One, from what I have read, a grant deed is not a good idea. Two, I have the strangest feeling she is trying to get the house from me, kick me out, and then move the guy from Chicago in. Her friend told me he was moving here in September. Things seem to be going well between us but I just have this weird feeling. Any thoughts?
basil67 Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 (edited) She shouldn't have her name on the title unless she's making repayments. Easy answer. However, you didn't buy that house "together". You bought it yourself. I hope you aren't confusing matters by talking about it being "our" house or having bought it together. If her name isn't on the title, is not a together thing. Like you, I am curious as to her motivation to get her name on the title. Is it because she wants it to truly be "ours". Also, 9.5 years together and not married yet - is this a mutual decision? And why did she leave you 6 months ago? Edited August 9, 2016 by basil67 1
central Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 Don't add her to the title unless she's also added to the mortgage, AND she buys in her equity share by paying you half of all closing costs and mortgage payments to date. You can't expect insurance or taxes from her for the past, but you can going forward, I think. However, why would you do this? You have free and clear title, since you weren't married when you bought, and unless she helped with the down payment or other financing, she has no claim whatsoever. Given the uncertainty in your relationship, adding her would seem to be a very foolish move. She's after something, and probably not to your benefit. Even if you marry her, do not add her to the deed - this is your property - but do have her pay reasonable rent that does NOT give her an equity share.
Author COOLRYANEXPRESS Posted August 9, 2016 Author Posted August 9, 2016 Marriage was never really discussed. We both came out of long marriages a few years before so I guess we were happy as is. She left because I was not giving her enough attention. Basically working 14 hours a day 6 days a week took a toll on me. She is a realtor so she sets her own hours but also she has unreliable income...big chunks of money but then none for months. Her uncle was looking to buy a house with cash as an investment. She found the house and brought me to see it. It was put in my name only because she had no income and bad credit. Then, the house was refinanced so we could pay her uncle back. that was done only in my name too. Her uncle got his money so he is out of it. I have made all payments including insurance and property taxes. If she is sincere, I have no problem adding her name as we are together. From what I have read about a grant deed....it can shoot your property taxes up, the bank may not even allow it and it could call the loan due in full. I hope I am not being tricked into signing over the house completely to her.
central Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 Talk to a real estate lawyer before you do anything! A few hundred dollars now could save you tens of thousands later.
Author COOLRYANEXPRESS Posted August 9, 2016 Author Posted August 9, 2016 She insists she wants her name on it to protect the house and herself in case something should happen to me. At the very least, putting her name on half would allow her to force me to sell it and give half of the profit.
TXGuy Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 I agree with Basil67. YOU bought a house three years ago that you allowed her to live in. Your jurisdiction (state or province you live) is important. That will determine whether she might have a claim to the property. I assume you live in a jurisdiction where she doesn't get an interest because she is now asking you to give her half of your house. She broke up with you six months ago to see other men. She realized she didn't leave with as many assets as she would have liked. She doesn't want to make that mistake again, so she is checking to see if you are naive enough to give her half your house. If you do, she is legally allowed to move her Chicago boyfriend in the next day and have sex with him in the living room. There would be nothing you could do about it except leave.
CarrieT Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 Okay, I will say what others won't.. ARE YOU F*CKING NUTS!?!?!? Why would you give her the benefit of the asset of house that YOU have paid for when you know she has been out f*cking other guys!?!? Don't even go there... 2
central Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 She insists she wants her name on it to protect the house and herself in case something should happen to me. At the very least, putting her name on half would allow her to force me to sell it and give half of the profit. Well, you can will it to her, which will achieve her goal without risking your investment if she tries to force you to sell (say, if she breaks up with you again). If she leaves, you can change the will to remove her. It's safest for both of you, but protects you from her if she has bad intentions. 2
Author COOLRYANEXPRESS Posted August 9, 2016 Author Posted August 9, 2016 I do consider the house "ours" since it was her idea, she went through her uncle and she found the house...and we had been together for 7 years already. I kind of think she is emotionally manipulating me with my love for her to get what she wants. When I even mentioned putting her name on the house some other way she got really defensive.
TXGuy Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 I do consider the house "ours" since it was her idea, she went through her uncle and she found the house...and we had been together for 7 years already. I kind of think she is emotionally manipulating me with my love for her to get what she wants. When I even mentioned putting her name on the house some other way she got really defensive. So she found the house. She is a realtor and likely was paid by the seller. Her uncle did the initial financing (for some unknown reason). He was paid back, presumably with interest. It is still your house. According to you, you have made all of the payments. I assume the house has appreciated. Now she wants her free equity (and temporary free lodging). If the housing market had crashed, I doubt she would have written you a check for her half of the negative equity when she left you. Of course she gets upset when you suggest anything other than handing half your house over to her. She has plans for that. They likely don't involve you. Expect her to threaten to leave you if you don't do as she asks. Then expect her to leave you anyway when you do. 1
Gloria25 Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 She insists she wants her name on it to protect the house and herself in case something should happen to me. Why, why do I have a feeling that I'm gonna see this story n Investigation Discovery/ID? I read your other posts about this woman...sounds like you're getting played.
Author COOLRYANEXPRESS Posted August 9, 2016 Author Posted August 9, 2016 I just don't want to believe the bad in people. I can't even imagine this crap happening. She acts like she is back with me and is glad .....until this subject comes up.
SevenCity Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 I just don't want to believe the bad in people. I can't even imagine this crap happening. She acts like she is back with me and is glad .....until this subject comes up. I get you're in love with her, but why would you want a girl who left you and banged at least 3 other guys? Let alone put your house in her name? Think of the advice you would give to a friend if he was in your shoes. 1
Author COOLRYANEXPRESS Posted August 9, 2016 Author Posted August 9, 2016 And you know what else....I helped finance her trip to Chicago unknowingly. She asked if she could "borrow" $500 because she was going to a real estate seminar in LA with a friend. I didn't know until later that she used that as walking around money while hanging with this other guy. I know she has damaged an ex boyfriends vehicle once before so I am kind of leery that she may do something to the house if she doesn't get what she wants.
SevenCity Posted August 10, 2016 Posted August 10, 2016 And you know what else....I helped finance her trip to Chicago unknowingly. She asked if she could "borrow" $500 because she was going to a real estate seminar in LA with a friend. I didn't know until later that she used that as walking around money while hanging with this other guy. I know she has damaged an ex boyfriends vehicle once before so I am kind of leery that she may do something to the house if she doesn't get what she wants. Dude, run, seriously.
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