phatgreenbuds67 Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 Well I am back with a new story. After my last drama I was able to move on and meet someone new. She was an upgrade in all respects as far as I could tell. What she didn’t tell me in the beginning was that she was a recovering alcoholic that had been through rehab three times already. Without knowing it I thrust her back into the party scene and we got wild. To shorten the story things slowing started getting bad with her drinking uncontrollably. When it finally blew up and she nearly died I put her in rehab and things looked like it was going to be ok. I was ready to settle down with her and go down the path of sobriety with her. The day she got out we had an amazing day rolling around in the sheets and just being in love. That night she went to get her nails done and came home drunk. I was devastated…she chose drinking over us. It got right back to the bad time right away so I walked out and told her when she sobered up I would be there but until then I had to leave. A week went by and I never heard from her. When I finally did she was in the hospital. Some guy she met found her in her house not breathing etc etc. I didn’t think much of that at first I was just relieved that she was ok. We got back together and it turns out this guy was in her AA group and they were “just friends”. They were spending a lot of time together and I was being pushed out of participating in her recovery. All the lies and inconsistencies started to add up and finally one day a picture of the two of them together showed up on his Facebook as his profile picture. I lost my temper and confronted her. That night we got together and she was drinking again. Conversation was pointless as it was rambling lies. We went to bed and I looked thru her messages on her phone and it all became clear. She was in some kind of relationship with this guy at the same time she was with me. I left the house that night and didn’t call for several days. Finally she started blowing my phone up and swearing nothing was going on. But from the messages I read there was clearly something. No one makes a picture of the two of you a profile pic unless they think they are in a relationship. I gave her the ultimatum and said he had to be cut out of her life. It was me or him. She said she wanted me. That evening I discovered she lied and had him coming over. It was at that point I shut down. Over the next week or so she called several times every day trying to tell me nothing was going on. I knew better even without having solid facts to support it I am not that naïve. I wasn’t giving in. I love her and I was wanted a life with her but she betrayed me. So finally the calls stopped. I suddenly felt loss. Tremendous loss that I was not prepared for like I thought I was. I wasn’t going to break. I knew there was an affair and I will not forgive that ever. So I started hanging out locally with all my friends and even tho I am 48, I am a very young looking 48 and we have a very active life in my area where everyone is friends. Two of my best are smoking hot little 23 year old bartender girls. A pic of me and one of the girls hugging at brunch showed up on facebook and it made it look like we were dating. We were not. I removed the tag as soon as I saw it but it was not fast enough. She saw it and blocked me instantly. Suddenly pictures of her and the guy from AA are back as his profile. I did not react nor have I attempted to contact her. More pictures keep showing up on his facebook of the two of them together. I have not posted anything except pics of me and friends at concerts and out partying. I know he is trying to bait me into a confrontation. Or maybe she really has moved on and they are really happy together. But its hurting still. I do have pics of me and the two girls in the pool all making out as a prelude to our threesome that finally happened and I have thought about posting them but what good would that do? I just don’t understand how she could go from loving me and trying everyday to get me back to jumping right into the arms of the guy that was the very reason we broke up. And now they are both posting just to rub it in my face like they won and I am the loser.
SoThatHappened Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 That's why you block people after they do things like that to you. If you can't see it, it won't affect you. Posting that you had a threesome on social media? Really? Just leave it all alone and move on. Especially since the only reason you would do it is to rub it in her face. Let her deal with her alcoholism and other issues. Find someone without those issues and you'll be better for it. 1
aloneinaz Posted August 10, 2016 Posted August 10, 2016 I think you need to do some soul searching my friend. 99% of people would have RAN away from that woman when they learned how much baggage she had. You have to ask yourself why you'd want to take on all her serious issues at your age. When I dated in my 40's, it was VERY apparent to me why so many of these women were single. I quickly learned that trying to find someone with the smallest suitcase of baggage was the best course. Like everyone, I had my baggage as well but.. things like addiction, STD's, drama lovers, clear mental issues were immediate deal breakers. It wasn't my job to fix anyone, especially someone I'd just meet or started to date. When they red flags started to appear the first few weeks or months, I'd end it and move on to the next potential LT possibility. Personally, you need to be grateful you're not dealing w/her BS any longer. You should block her everywhere and find someone who's a good fit for you.
Author phatgreenbuds67 Posted August 10, 2016 Author Posted August 10, 2016 I have indeed ended it, and I'm letting it go one day at a time. I have made no attempts to contact her or communicate in any manner. I have thought about alot of things I could do, such as post my own pictures but it would only drag this out longer. Still it hurts to put so much of myself into someone despite her issues and then have it all ripped away. I will get past it and I will be better for it. On a side note, I was hanging out with my girls last night and out of the blue she called me. I was not very warm or friendly in what was a short phone call. She wanted to know how I was doing but I simply said its no longer her business how I am doing. Not sure why she called, didn't ask either. I have considered blocking her and the new guy but then that gives them the satisfaction of knowing they got to me. I can avoid looking at their social media with simple willpower. I just think its better that I have no reaction and let them wonder.
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