calmb4thestorm Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 I will start by acknowledging that I am a WW spouse and I have another thread in the infidelity forum related to what's going on in my life (and while this is not unrelated, it is sort of a separate question unto itself) and I would like to ask for your honest opinions. Say you were in the situation of being able to choose between spending your life with one of two people. How do you choose between them? Especially if they are polar opposites? There are qualities you like in both and qualities you don't like too. One person is stable, average (in looks and the bedroom), loyal, and caring. You know they have good values. Maybe you don't share all the same interests and find yourself bored occasionally. The other person is kind of crazy, above-average (in looks and in the bedroom), flirty with others, and you have a bit of trouble trusting. They are loving and affectionate to you and you'd be happy to show them off to your friends, but you are uneasy about their values and boundaries. And while they won't cheat on you, there's always someone else waiting to get into their pants. You don't want to be their next ex. I know that sounds stupid on paper, but is the intense attraction and amazing sex with the second person worth all the possible headaches and heartbreak down the road? Do gambles pay off? Is there a compromise?
Methodical Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 I've read many threads where sex was off the chart prior to marriage but then dwindled to nearly nothing soon after vows were said. Compatibility, imo, is paramount for healthy, happy relationships. For discussion sake, is person #1 who isn't a freak in the bed, open to exploring and expanding her skill-set?
smackie9 Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 I would pick neither of them. "settling" for one of them just because they are there is a stupid waste of time.
Ami1uwant Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 It's the grass is greener, shinny new toy syndrome. How many yers have you been with your spouse vs new person ? What is the issue with cure mt spousr?
Lois_Griffin Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 The other person is kind of crazy, above-average (in looks and in the bedroom), flirty with others, and you have a bit of trouble trusting. They are loving and affectionate to you and you'd be happy to show them off to your friends, but you are uneasy about their values and boundaries. And while they won't cheat on you, there's always someone else waiting to get into their pants. You don't want to be their next ex. Would this 'second person' be your boyfriend? If he is, then you forgot to add to your list, "the kind of guy who sleeps with another man's wife and has no problem at all with it." And for the record, since he clearly lacks integrity and character, he's about the LAST person you can make this statement about: "...and while they won't cheat on you...." 1
Gaeta Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 If I can grow feelings with number 1 I would take him 100% The type you describe in number 2 is of no interest to me. I don't care how much hot he can be, he sounds sleazy and sleazy is never a good investment. 1
Recommended Posts