sugarpuss Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 Here’s the situation: met a guy a few months ago. We (very) casually dated, and we never even brought up being exclusive. After maybe three or four dates, over the course of maybe a month or so, he made the decision to (temporarily) move back home states away due to some family health issues. We never discussed a LDR obviously since we weren’t even really dating, and I think we both would have said “no” had it came up. Anyway, we kept seeing each other for about 3 months or so until his lease was up and he made the big move. Things obviously got physical, but we also had a pretty deep emotional connection. I think we both kinda knew if he wasn’t moving, we’d make things more official. He said he wasn't seeing anyone else and I wasn't really either, so when we were together, it took on a more BF/GF feel. We were stuck in some grey area…more attached than just FWB should be. I mentioned my feelings but nothing ever came of it, and I honestly didn’t expect them to.…I just always try to be open and honest. The move was a month ago. We haven’t spoken, we barely text, we kinda keep up with each other on social media. (I should mention we barely texted when we did live in the same city, so that’s not really surprising.) He is supposed to be moving back in a few months when things cool off at home, but of course, I’m not gonna count on that. But obviously it’s in the back of my mind. I’m not going to sit and pine away after him, but at the same time, I feel I have no closure because I keep thinking what could have been or what could be when he comes back. Very recently I’ve deduced from social media (I HATE social media sometimes) that he’s more or less seeing someone new. I know we weren’t officially dating. I know I don’t have a right to be mad. But unfortunately I let my feelings get in the way so I feel sad this is happening, especially after what we shared only a month before. My question is: how should I handle this? I am leaning toward NC for my own wellbeing, but I also don’t want to ruin any chance I might have with him if and when he does move back, because what we had was great (although in the back of my mind, I'm thinking if what we really had was so great, why is it so easy for him to move on? But I think the connection is purely physical with the new girl....I get it....the nights get lonely sometimes). If I go NC, how NC should I go? Do I delete him from everything? Or do I just get a thicker skin and try my best to ignore his Facebook/IG/Snapchat posts (again, I HATE social media sometimes). I don’t want to come across as a crazy person who can’t handle her ex-FWB seeing someone new. If he asks, do I just tell him what I’ve written here, that seeing them together makes me sad? Or do I say nothing? Again, I don’t want to seem like a crazy person.
Traceycprc Posted August 10, 2016 Posted August 10, 2016 You need to do what is right for you, not him and any possibilities. I would go NC, he knows where you are, if you are in a better place and you have moved on by then, great. Don't think about how he will see things if you go NC, think about your feelings and what you need to do to heal. You may find he is moving on with this new girl, do you really want to know if they get serious? Use the time to heal, and someone that will adore you and will never leave you in doubt where you stand. Here’s the situation: met a guy a few months ago. We (very) casually dated, and we never even brought up being exclusive. After maybe three or four dates, over the course of maybe a month or so, he made the decision to (temporarily) move back home states away due to some family health issues. We never discussed a LDR obviously since we weren’t even really dating, and I think we both would have said “no” had it came up. Anyway, we kept seeing each other for about 3 months or so until his lease was up and he made the big move. Things obviously got physical, but we also had a pretty deep emotional connection. I think we both kinda knew if he wasn’t moving, we’d make things more official. He said he wasn't seeing anyone else and I wasn't really either, so when we were together, it took on a more BF/GF feel. We were stuck in some grey area…more attached than just FWB should be. I mentioned my feelings but nothing ever came of it, and I honestly didn’t expect them to.…I just always try to be open and honest. The move was a month ago. We haven’t spoken, we barely text, we kinda keep up with each other on social media. (I should mention we barely texted when we did live in the same city, so that’s not really surprising.) He is supposed to be moving back in a few months when things cool off at home, but of course, I’m not gonna count on that. But obviously it’s in the back of my mind. I’m not going to sit and pine away after him, but at the same time, I feel I have no closure because I keep thinking what could have been or what could be when he comes back. Very recently I’ve deduced from social media (I HATE social media sometimes) that he’s more or less seeing someone new. I know we weren’t officially dating. I know I don’t have a right to be mad. But unfortunately I let my feelings get in the way so I feel sad this is happening, especially after what we shared only a month before. My question is: how should I handle this? I am leaning toward NC for my own wellbeing, but I also don’t want to ruin any chance I might have with him if and when he does move back, because what we had was great (although in the back of my mind, I'm thinking if what we really had was so great, why is it so easy for him to move on? But I think the connection is purely physical with the new girl....I get it....the nights get lonely sometimes). If I go NC, how NC should I go? Do I delete him from everything? Or do I just get a thicker skin and try my best to ignore his Facebook/IG/Snapchat posts (again, I HATE social media sometimes). I don’t want to come across as a crazy person who can’t handle her ex-FWB seeing someone new. If he asks, do I just tell him what I’ve written here, that seeing them together makes me sad? Or do I say nothing? Again, I don’t want to seem like a crazy person.
NTV Posted August 10, 2016 Posted August 10, 2016 The good news 8 you don't have something to ruin so there isn't really a bad move you can make here. Do what you want to do.
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