ml234ts Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 Hi, as the title says, I've been through probably the most baffling and confusing relationship start in my life, if we can call it relationship. It all started two weeks ago, when I met a girl of about my age (16, I'm 18) during a two-week stay in the UK. We were in the same group, and from the same city. While we only barely talked to each other during the stay, in the final days I noticed she was getting interested in me and we began going out casually and just staying together. After the stay ended, she contacted me via Snapchat and started behaving in a very flirtatious manner. We kept chatting and snapping each other for about 10 days, as I was in another trip in Iceland. She demanded pictures of me and the places I visited, and I did the same. Everything was going butter smooth, she even started inserting hearts in her messages (and so did I) and she was fantasising about my return. I eventually came back from my second trip and we arranged a date for the day after. The date itself went extremely well. We went around the city, sit in a bench, and watched a local folklore event while socialising and flirting. Eventually, some of her friends joined us for dinner (which kind of annoyed me), but we kept behaving like we were kind of engaged (hugs and flirting stuff, etc), yet I failed to share a kiss with her in order to avoid embarassment with her friends. At the end, she had to leave with the last bus, we kissed and said goodnight to each other, and planned to arrange the next date via text. She even sent an extra goodnight text with hearts after leaving. As a non-believer of the three days rule, I contacted her the evening after, only to be ignored for four hours straight. At the end, I received a text, which said this: "Hey M., I want to be sincere, I don't want to create false illusions, I only see you as a friend" She then proceeded to ignore my subsequent texts for (at the time of writing) three days straight, which said that while I didn't really like friendships derivated from friend zone, it would have been a good idea to discuss this. After reading that text, I felt so confused yet unconvinced what she wrote was true. The text was written at 9pm in the evening of a saturday, so I didn't exclude the option of her being drunk or just having handed over her phone to a friend, two things she told me that happened recently and quite a few times. What should I do? I know a friend of her, but I don't know if contacting her would be a good idea. Since then I've stopped sending any text or snaps whatsoever, but I really want to sort this situation out. What could have happened?
Redhead14 Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 Hi, as the title says, I've been through probably the most baffling and confusing relationship start in my life, if we can call it relationship. It all started two weeks ago, when I met a girl of about my age (16, I'm 18) during a two-week stay in the UK. We were in the same group, and from the same city. While we only barely talked to each other during the stay, in the final days I noticed she was getting interested in me and we began going out casually and just staying together. After the stay ended, she contacted me via Snapchat and started behaving in a very flirtatious manner. We kept chatting and snapping each other for about 10 days, as I was in another trip in Iceland. She demanded pictures of me and the places I visited, and I did the same. Everything was going butter smooth, she even started inserting hearts in her messages (and so did I) and she was fantasising about my return. I eventually came back from my second trip and we arranged a date for the day after. The date itself went extremely well. We went around the city, sit in a bench, and watched a local folklore event while socialising and flirting. Eventually, some of her friends joined us for dinner (which kind of annoyed me), but we kept behaving like we were kind of engaged (hugs and flirting stuff, etc), yet I failed to share a kiss with her in order to avoid embarassment with her friends. At the end, she had to leave with the last bus, we kissed and said goodnight to each other, and planned to arrange the next date via text. She even sent an extra goodnight text with hearts after leaving. As a non-believer of the three days rule, I contacted her the evening after, only to be ignored for four hours straight. At the end, I received a text, which said this: "Hey M., I want to be sincere, I don't want to create false illusions, I only see you as a friend" She then proceeded to ignore my subsequent texts for (at the time of writing) three days straight, which said that while I didn't really like friendships derivated from friend zone, it would have been a good idea to discuss this. After reading that text, I felt so confused yet unconvinced what she wrote was true. The text was written at 9pm in the evening of a saturday, so I didn't exclude the option of her being drunk or just having handed over her phone to a friend, two things she told me that happened recently and quite a few times. What should I do? I know a friend of her, but I don't know if contacting her would be a good idea. Since then I've stopped sending any text or snaps whatsoever, but I really want to sort this situation out. What could have happened? She just doesn't want to continue to date you. That's what dating is about . . . to determine if you want to try to develop a romantic relationship with someone and she doesn't feel that you are the right fit for her. So be it. Just because someone goes out once and has a nice time, doesn't mean they are obligated or will definitely want to continue dating you. Leave her be. If she wants to simply be friends and you don't want that, then don't accept communication from her and don't reach out to her.
Author ml234ts Posted August 8, 2016 Author Posted August 8, 2016 If she wants to simply be friends and you don't want that, then don't accept communication from her and don't reach out to her. My point wasn't really dating with her, but rather reach out to her and discuss about a potential friendship (which was what before we started dating; I said that I usually hate that, but I think this is different for me). It's her silence that I can't really understand...
Vado Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 My point wasn't really dating with her, but rather reach out to her and discuss about a potential friendship (which was what before we started dating; I said that I usually hate that, but I think this is different for me). It's her silence that I can't really understand... Why would you discuss friendship? You're friends or not. Don't take things to litterally, many girls say 'let's be friends' but that doesn't really mean she wants to hang out with you as much as her female friends. However I know one win-back scenario, cause I saw it happen; date her best friend. Some girls become extremely jealous if such a thing happends and want you back. But best thing would be: let her go, find another girl. Less complicated.
Redhead14 Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 My point wasn't really dating with her, but rather reach out to her and discuss about a potential friendship (which was what before we started dating; I said that I usually hate that, but I think this is different for me). It's her silence that I can't really understand... She doesn't want to talk to you because now it's clear to her that you are more invested in her than she is in you. You want to remain friends now because you think she might change her mind at some point. It appears that it not going to be the case. She was just being nice by saying she sees you only as a friend, when in fact she just doesn't want to see you anymore. It's hard to be friends with a person when you know they want more from you. It's awkward.
smackie9 Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 She's 16.....16 year olds can easily be influenced by their friends. It's possible her friends asked her what she saw in you, maybe felt you were a bit dorky, made fun of her, so she felt embarrassed and bailed on the idea. I speak from experience.....I was that girl.
Author ml234ts Posted August 8, 2016 Author Posted August 8, 2016 She's 16.....16 year olds can easily be influenced by their friends. It's possible her friends asked her what she saw in you, maybe felt you were a bit dorky, made fun of her, so she felt embarrassed and bailed on the idea. I speak from experience.....I was that girl. Yes, that's what I thought of. I mean, how can someone change mind so quickly, as a 16 yrs old? She doesn't want to talk to you because now it's clear to her that you are more invested in her than she is in you. You want to remain friends now because you think she might change her mind at some point. It appears that it not going to be the case. She was just being nice by saying she sees you only as a friend, when in fact she just doesn't want to see you anymore. It's hard to be friends with a person when you know they want more from you. It's awkward. Yeah, that's why I hate friendzone friendships in the first place. I just wanted to go back to the pre-dating period, but it's become clear that this is going to be impossible. Nothing lost in the end. However I know one win-back scenario, cause I saw it happen; date her best friend. Some girls become extremely jealous if such a thing happends and want you back. But best thing would be: let her go, find another girl. Less complicated. This seems extremely evil in my point of view, I wouldn't do that. (Also, I have no idea if her friend is even remotely interested in me or would agree to do such a thing. Best thing to do, avoid doing it).
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