waterwoman Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 We have an old chest freezer in our garage that we don't really use anymore. There were some loaves of bread in it and some rather sad looking ancient pork chops. H asked me if I thought we needed it and I said that no, I didn't. He then told me that he wanted to give it to a teaching assistant at his school - not in his class - who had just split with her partner and was starting again.A female TA.... of course. The next day he cleaned it out, lugged into the back of our estate car and drove it to her new house. DS2 was in the car so I am confident nothing inappropriate happened. When I asked him about her, he told me that she had two kids, had been with him since her teens and he was controlling.... wow deja vu! what a coincidence. His AP 4 years ago was also in a 'controlling' marriage apparently and brought out H's latent KISA syndrome... in spades. I began to trigger a little TBH but then decided a little mockery was a far better idea. I told him that he was getting too old to ride around on a white charger and that he'd hurt his knee again carrying around all that heavy armour. Oh and offered him some Brasso to make it all nice and shiny again. He looked momentarily confused, then annoyed and then had the good grace and sense to laugh. FFS! Next time he feels like being charitable he can volunteer at a homeless shelter or a ****ing dog rescue centre 2
Mr. Lucky Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 FFS! Next time he feels like being charitable he can volunteer at a homeless shelter or a ****ing dog rescue centre I'll put a positive spin on it and note it's a sign of your recovery that he can have the charitable impulse without the danger of over-involvement. Glad one of you is paying attention ... Mr. Lucky 2
oldshirt Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 "when a man rescues a damsel in distress, all he has to show for it in the end is a distressed damsel on his hands." - Dr Laura Schlesinger 3
Author waterwoman Posted August 8, 2016 Author Posted August 8, 2016 I'd be paying close attention...he seems to know a lot about her personal life and what her needs are. He seems keen on helping her...not a good sign. Well quite. However he knows I will have no truck with another affair (of any nature) so i guess it's up to him. Not going to police him.
Author waterwoman Posted August 8, 2016 Author Posted August 8, 2016 I'll put a positive spin on it and note it's a sign of your recovery that he can have the charitable impulse without the danger of over-involvement. Glad one of you is paying attention ... Mr. Lucky Oh I'm paying attention but not going to tell him what to do. He wants to make a twat of himself it's up to him but I won't be around to watch him do so.... as he well knows. i reckoned a bit of mild teasing is more than enough warning....
NTV Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 Lol maybe you can point out when he wants to do stuff that he's being "controlling" and see how he takes it.... Lmao my guess is he poops a brick.
Lois_Griffin Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 I have to be honest. This is exactly why I wouldn't reconcile with a cheater. It's like you have to constantly monitor them and keep a watchful eye on them for the rest of your life. This just seems so sad. 1
Author waterwoman Posted August 9, 2016 Author Posted August 9, 2016 I have to be honest. This is exactly why I wouldn't reconcile with a cheater. It's like you have to constantly monitor them and keep a watchful eye on them for the rest of your life. This just seems so sad. Oh Lordy! I don't take it that seriously any more. Please don't feel sad on my behalf. I'm not. 2
jenkins95 Posted August 10, 2016 Posted August 10, 2016 Oh Lordy! I don't take it that seriously any more. Please don't feel sad on my behalf. I'm not. I love the way you wrote this post water woman - you've pitched it just right! And that line about the ****ing dog rescue centre was brilliant. You made me laugh out loud. You address a serious point but you do so with humour and realism - great post! I see myself in your H. I too tend to get drawn to 'damsels in distress' and want to help. But like me, having been a complete prick once, I'm sure he'll never dream of being so stupid again. I've no doubt that this was completely innocent - if a bit naive given what's happened. It's not surprising that you triggered, but you handled it so well. You got your point across to him very clearly without losing it but using subtle humour and sarcasm - great move girl! Proud of you! 1
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