My ex dumped me like i was nothing, now she's got someone new [updated]

[doyathinkso]

Yup, you're putting the blame on the wrong person.

 

He was just enjoying the buffet. She was the one serving it.

 

He, really, is no one to you. She is the one who screwed you over.

[doyathinkso]

When someone by their actions shows you who they are ..... believe them.

[Chi townD]

After a painful analysis of the last week of me an my ex being together, I've came too the terms, she cheated an left me for this scumbag....

 

I still love her an want her back... It eases my pain knowing what she did was one of the actual reasons she left.. An it wasn't my mistakes..

 

We was togther 2 years, she was a very loving caring girl, so it's very hard too too come too terms why she did it..

The relationship was good, we did have a lot of pointless arguments an some very bad things was said, but we loved each of too bits, lots of days out an experiences gifts an dates etc...

 

She met this guy at festival, it's actually her step dads friend even worse!

She's 18 an this creep is 30.. Funny thing is she's denying it too everyone, telling everyone I'm lying, an they're friends...but I saw all the evidence on her phone... Thing is they're going too a festival today, it kills me knowing that, because I was saving for this festival myself too take

Her...

 

I believe she opened up too him at the festival drunk, about our good an bad .. An he's taken full of advantage of it.. And pulled her away from me..

It kills me that she was so weak too resist, she was very loving an carinng an that's what eats me up so much...

 

I still want us too be together, or if not together her too meet her ultimate karma... I want this guy to betray her an I want this guy, too meet his fate! Dirty evil scumbag.... I want her too reach out too

Me an say sorry, an for me too be in the position of mental strength too make a real decision....

 

 

Okay dude. You can blame this guy all you want. Did he have a hand in the demise of your relationship? Absolutely. But, here's the rub. He didn't make her cheat. That was her choice and her choice alone. She is fully capable of saying "no".

 

She's the one that betrayed you, not him.

[Jak1392]

It's been maybe 2/3 months since my girlfriend of the past 2 years just left me out of the blue..

 

We both live in the same city, I moved away with a job promotion, and I returned back home 2/3 months ago... My girlfriend pretty much left me after 4 days of me being back, in those 4 days everything seemed happy an full of love, by the weekend.. She messages me she's having doubts an wants too end it.. This was total blow too the heart, even worse I was at work when she messaged me..

 

Anyway, I've been hearing a lot about this grass is greener thing... And I've saw examples of how a gigs break up is... And the majority if not all the examples was just like what my ex said too me... It's not you, it's me.. I love you, but not in love... I just don't know what I want anymore!

 

 

After 2-3 weeks of pleading an crying, she wasn't letting her guard down she didn't wanna know me at all, she started acting very hateful and nasty, screaming she hates me, she's slept about, she doesn't care about me, maybe a week passes we bump into each other in town, go to a bar get drunk, made up, but not back together.. I started hanging around with her, slowly trying too work things but no luck..

 

I soon find out a guy who she met at festival, a week before I came home, has been messaging her in a sexual way... I freak out confront her, she tell me she doesn't wanna see me anymore, she said "I thought we could be friends, we can't"

 

And she appears to be seeing him... He's 30, she's 18 and I'm 23...

It's so shocking the way she's suddenly changed, I could never imagine her acting this way ever.. She had a peaceful loving spirit, but she seems too be clouded by something... I'm presuming it's this guys subliminal manipulation, I believed she opened up too him about us at this festival, an he's taken advantage of a young girl... All she does now is get drunk 24/7 with this guy, wasted with out fail pretty much everyday of the week, getting high an hanging around with this creep, I never pushed alcohol or drugs.. On her at all.. I don't really drink or party... I don't mind a few now an then, but she's going on a full on blow out..

 

It's even more shocking because the guy is a fat bald dude, who's a family friend I can't believe it... I'm not vain, but I get told I'm a handsome lad, an she even used too say you're really beautiful lol.. A few of my lady friends an recently made friends are totally shocked why she's left me for this scumbag.... they just can't understand it..

 

The year I went away, it was up and down.. There was a period where we would be constantly arguing an being upset by one an other, I had a lot of stress put on me with the promotion, an at times I took her for granted, an took my negativity out her... The real sad thing is, was when was togther we never argued only when we was apart that's when trouble occurred.. Even tho a period of our relationship was long distance it never felt it, I'd take 4-6 days a week of a month an visit home or she would see me, we had so many fun loving days out together, shopping, cinemas, ice cream bars, coffee shops, tattoos, sexy shopping, everything, meals out with mine an her family... I did so many loving caring things for her...

 

But she feels like she doesn't want or feel anything for me, which is gut wrenching... And she doesn't see any of the good or happiness...

 

Her final excuse why she says she left was, she pushed her self away... Because of the bad times, that I don't believe, because before she went too this festival and met this guy, her an her mom.. Was on Skype too me telling me there so happy I'm coming back, my girlfriend was in tears of joy...

 

I am now in a new job, finishing on good times so I can see my family an friends, I've recently started going the gym again, I never stopped but I was doing a sport when her an I was together (mma) I'm now looking too beef up an get a physique an kinda get a make over.. I am now into 25 days NC, shes still on my mind a lot, I do dream about her, and wish she'll come

Back.. I'm debating texting her my new number in another week or so... Too see if any things changed... I don't hate her.. I hate this guy, I truly

Believe he pulled her away... And is the cause of her behaviour ..

 

 

 

Anyway sorry for the long ass post an my poor grammar.. Just giving an update, she does seem too have this "gigs" I do love her an I do want her back..... Just trying to think how I can get her back .. If she did

Genuinely love me, I want her too find her way back... People say loves strong, so....

[Blanco]

Just let her be 18. She's a person with her own mind, so it's ridiculous (and a bit insulting to her intelligence) that you seem to think this all happened because of the guy. The way you tell it, this guy hypnotized her and lured her away from your loving embrace.

 

Also, I'm really having trouble reconciling the apparent fact that you were 21 and dating someone who was 16.

[Jak1392]

We met at college, we used too get the bus together... At the time

I thought she was around 18, but she wasn't... We just fell for each other...

I first I was 50/50 about the whole thing myself... But she carring an loving,

She comes from a rough up bringing so do I, so I guess that's why we clicked so

Well...

we had so much negativity towards in the beginning, but as time went by people saw how much we cared for one an other.. An respected that... I don't agree with you that it's insulting too her intelligence, she's seems too be radilcised by this idiots wreck less an careless behaviour, I don't get why she would just move on from someone who wanted too give her everything...

And before this guy was on the scene, everything was fine....

Edited August 23, 2016 by Jak1392

[Blanco]

How's it not insulting to her intelligence to think she had no role in linking up with this guy? Unless he kidnapped her or put her under a spell, she went along with all of this in some part because she chose to. To think was all his doing and your ex-girlfriend was just some poor victim shows that you're still in the denial stage.

 

Right now, you sound like the guy who finds out his wife had an affair and then puts all of his anger toward the other man rather than allocating some of that anger toward the cheating spouse.

[Lifeissomething]

18. Move on.

And yes, at 21 dating a 16 year old, that must have been uhh difficult.

 

But seriously. I wouldn't give an 18 year the responsibility of wiping my ass, let alone holding the keys to my heart. The person she is now will differ greatly from who she is in 5 years. She doesn't even know her beliefs, wants, or have a true understanding of sense of self--you can't honestly expect her to hold all the answers for her love life.

 

Focus on yourself and try dating girls closer to your age. Falling in love with a teenager is asking for trouble.

[Jak1392]

I know the answer in my head is move on...

 

But my heart wants her back, we shared so many things together... It's just **** it's ended this way...