Unheard of gentlemen gestures

[NTV]

my grandfather would treat every woman like a lady.....girls....women...even women he didnt really approve of...he didnt change his respect or gentlemanly etiquette for women...or girls...based on how they acted....it wasnt an act for my grandfather...it wasnt based on the women who were around him...his etiquette,his manners...his poise..... was in him..he was old school through and through...deb

 

 

Yeah but I bet there was a greater degree of civility and higher expectation of public behavior when he grew up. Plus I'll hold the door open for anyone but in my mind that's a common courtesy versus chivalry. For me, most of the time, chivalry is a response to how a woman carries themselves... sometimes even unconsciously.

 

It's the difference between a social standard and being inspired to a type of behavior. If that makes sense.

 

Then again I've also been cussed out for opening the door for a date. Claimed that women got their equality in the 19th etc etc etc. Blah blah blah... Needless to say... Neither one of us were interested in a second date. Lol

[spiderowl]

I saw this dating profile and she mentions how she prefers a gentleman that opens doors (I heard that all the time), but to walk closest to the road next to her and to walk in front of her when walking down a flight of stairs.

 

The last two, I never heard of. Think it's so outdated that people haven't heard of those 2? I mean, ain't hell hath no fury if I forget to do those? lol

 

Yes, I have heard of them, but then I'm older My father in law always walked on the outside of the pavement. It annoyed me actually but I recognise now that he was being utterly respectful. He was always fond of me. The idea is to protect the lady from being splashed by traffic on the road (goes back to the time when there was horse traffic too I understand).

 

I think going downstairs before the lady was intended to protect her if she fell.

 

There were good intentions behind these 'rules' but they do seem very outdated now. Holding doors open and being caring and protective is nice, but forcing behaviour on others is not so pleasant.

Edited August 8, 2016 by spiderowl

[preraph]

It's just manners that came out of being protective. Even though a girl or woman may not need the protection in her 20s, she will value someone who shows they can step up and protect and be considerate because 1) Someday she may be pregnant or be carrying a baby and 2) She might want to wear high heels, and 3) She just may like a guy who is nice instead of rude and obstinate!

[todreaminblue]

Yeah but I bet there was a greater degree of civility and higher expectation of public behavior when he grew up. Plus I'll hold the door open for anyone but in my mind that's a common courtesy versus chivalry. For me, most of the time, chivalry is a response to how a woman carries themselves... sometimes even unconsciously.

 

It's the difference between a social standard and being inspired to a type of behavior. If that makes sense.

 

Then again I've also been cussed out for opening the door for a date. Claimed that women got their equality in the 19th etc etc etc. Blah blah blah... Needless to say... Neither one of us were interested in a second date. Lol

 

i think life back then was...slower...there was time for chivalry...now they have revolving doors......you basically have to jump in them....little time for chivalry from men........get on a train and you see it......you see old school men who will get up from their seat to offer a lady a seat some of them ...granted...are younger men as well.....but many times...i have stood up first to offer an older lady a seat...i think chivalry goes both ways.....you cant embrace chvialry unless it is in you as well to be the same.....i hold doors open fro older men out of respect....for them and about them...as they have often held the door for me...my girsl hold doors open too...they watched me do it..their dad do it....they are polite in company..they aint perfect though...smilin..but they are pretty graceful in their manners..even with peopel they dont like that much or agree with.. and i love that about them..i cherish that...

cussing someone out for opening a door when thank you should have been said...is bad form...no wonder a second date wasnt on the cards...who wants to be cussed out...

 

 

..it is is beautiful to see men with manners and chivalry..but what is even more smile worthy and deserving...is when you see it reciprocated with grace....i feel a lot of the worlds problems today are formed from abandoning what is good and right to do......manners come high up there in promoting...better days.......deb

Edited August 9, 2016 by todreaminblue

[Shining One]

..it is is beautiful to see men with manners and chivalry..but what is even more smile worthy and deserving...is when you see it reciprocated with grace....i feel a lot of the worlds problems today are formed from abandoning what is good and right to do......manners come high up there in promoting...better days

Gender-specific special gestures are not a requirement for good manners and kindness. People can show kindness to people. It doesn't have to be men specifically showing kindness to women.

• I'll hold a door open for anyone nearby behind me.
  
• If I see someone struggling with something heavy, I offer to help.
  
• If I'm on a train and all the seats are taken, I'll offer my seat to someone who "needs" it more than me, such as a guy/girl with a limp.
  

[MissBee]

I saw this dating profile and she mentions how she prefers a gentleman that opens doors (I heard that all the time), but to walk closest to the road next to her and to walk in front of her when walking down a flight of stairs.

 

The last two, I never heard of. Think it's so outdated that people haven't heard of those 2? I mean, ain't hell hath no fury if I forget to do those? lol

 

I've certainly heard of them. My last bf was very much this way. However, for me, this is not a requirement. I get why for some it is nice and seems protective and so on though...