Unscrewed Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 We broke up a little more than a week ago. I pleaded for a chance for 3 days, went NC for 4 days, then stupidly broke NC last night only for him to ignore me. I'm going to regain some of my self-respect by going NC again. Our long distance was the main reason for the breakup. Because it was circumstantial, I did hope for some reconcillation in the future. I know better now, but I still want to see him. That's why, when I visit the UK with my cousin this year (gonna be about 4 months till then), I will text him a message asking for meetup. If he agreed, great. If not, great! I still have my cousin to have fun. And I really regret breaking NC, now I long for his messages. I'm quite glad that I told my mum and bestfriend about the BU. They make the healing process quicker. I don't want a relationship for now, not with him, not with anyone else. I'm putting me first. While I'm very heartbroken, I also feel a sense of relief. The relationship was too much to maintain. If we had met at a better time, things might have gone differently. Well, people do say :"if it's meant to be, it'll be". For now, screw him! Gosh, BU is full of contradictory feelings.
asphyxis Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 I wouldn't recpntact him in the future. Be mature enough to respect his wishes ans if HE wants to, let him contact you. There's a reason why he says the distance isn't working whether he is honest or not. 1
Author Unscrewed Posted August 8, 2016 Author Posted August 8, 2016 (edited) Actually, I was the one who suggested that we went our seperate ways at first and he was the one who suggested otherwise. So yeah, when I drop by, I will let him know. It depends on him whether to take the offer or not. I'm not going my entire way to meet him or convince him, you know? It's neither immature nor disrepectful to let someone you used to know that you are available in the area. It only becomes immature and disrepectful when you insist on meeting up, which is not I want to do. Edited August 8, 2016 by Unscrewed
bummer Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 It's neither immature nor disrepectful to let someone you used to know that you are available in the area. It only becomes immature and disrepectful when you insist on meeting up, which is not I want to do. It's going to fuel plenty of anxiety to "wait" 4 months. Your post is dripping with false hope. I'm sorry. It's immature to not know when the kettle is already boiled. It's mature to move on and let whatever his reason was for the breakup stand as truth and do you 100%. It's disrespectful to yourself to harbor any attachment to a lost relationship. It's respectful to honor the breakup by not contacting him when you show up. If you convince him to meet up, what's your plan? He still wanted to end it rather than fight for it! Move on, please. Be strong!
asphyxis Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 Actually, I was the one who suggested that we went our seperate ways at first and he was the one who suggested otherwise. So yeah, when I drop by, I will let him know. It depends on him whether to take the offer or not. I'm not going my entire way to meet him or convince him, you know? It's neither immature nor disrepectful to let someone you used to know that you are available in the area. It only becomes immature and disrepectful when you insist on meeting up, which is not I want to do. What is really the point in asking for a meet up if he stated his reasons for the break up? If to see him or chit chat about the past, it is unwise. It puts you right back to square one. Unless you have plans to get to rekindle, there really is no reason to ask for a meet up. Respect his wishes, that's what he was really seeking when the break up happened whether or not you choose to believe so.
Author Unscrewed Posted August 8, 2016 Author Posted August 8, 2016 What is really the point in asking for a meet up if he stated his reasons for the break up? If to see him or chit chat about the past, it is unwise. It puts you right back to square one. Unless you have plans to get to rekindle, there really is no reason to ask for a meet up. Respect his wishes, that's what he was really seeking when the break up happened whether or not you choose to believe so. You presume too much. I have no intention of talking about the past or trying to rekindle anything, because I agree with his decision for the break up. I want to meet him for the sake of meeting him. I will respect my wish to see him and I will respect his decision whether he choose to meet me or not.
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