sugarpuss Posted August 7, 2016 Posted August 7, 2016 Just curious what others think about this situation. I'm a bystander but feel like I'm too biased to have a valid opinion. Is it appropriate for a guy to be "interested" in one of his sister's best friends? Age difference is 7-8 years. She's 19 he's 27. He hits on her like crazy. She eats the attention up. I know other factors, like maturity level, come into play, but in general. Sleazy or not?
JewelD Posted August 7, 2016 Posted August 7, 2016 Yeah it's kinda sleazy. and lazy. He should at least get with someone who can legally drink. And maybe not his sister's friends. 1
DramaInPajamas Posted August 7, 2016 Posted August 7, 2016 Legally drink? Age of consent is 18 here. At 19 she is an adult.
JewelD Posted August 7, 2016 Posted August 7, 2016 Legally drink? Age of consent is 18 here. At 19 she is an adult. It's obvious that it is legal for them to talk, but the OP didn't ask that. The question was if it was sleazy or not. I consider a 27 year old dating someone under the age of 21 to indeed be rather sleazy.
Author sugarpuss Posted August 7, 2016 Author Posted August 7, 2016 It's obvious that it is legal for them to talk, but the OP didn't ask that. The question was if it was sleazy or not. I consider a 27 year old dating someone under the age of 21 to indeed be rather sleazy. Thanks for your input here. Agree with you...it just seems weird for a 27 year adult, who has been graduated from college for like 5 years, working in the real world, etc., to be interested in someone who was in high school last year. Not illegal, just sleazy (and as you mentioned, lazy). 2
startingagain15 Posted August 7, 2016 Posted August 7, 2016 I'm 40 my BF is 47, it doesn't seem weird at this age; but yeah a 27 year old and 19 year old are a way different levels in life, not the best situation. 4
James527 Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 Thanks for your input here. Agree with you...it just seems weird for a 27 year adult, who has been graduated from college for like 5 years, working in the real world, etc., to be interested in someone who was in high school last year. Not illegal, just sleazy (and as you mentioned, lazy). It's not a problem. But it depends upon the person. Men mature later and are often more responsible than guys her own age. It's definitely not sleazy. It's perfectly normal for men to be attracted to women in their sexual prime. According to basic biology those ages are 17-24.
basil67 Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 If the age gap is a problem, they will eventually break up. I'd withhold judgement and let them figure it out.
longjohn Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 Just curious what others think about this situation. I'm a bystander but feel like I'm too biased to have a valid opinion. Is it appropriate for a guy to be "interested" in one of his sister's best friends? Age difference is 7-8 years. She's 19 he's 27. He hits on her like crazy. She eats the attention up. I know other factors, like maturity level, come into play, but in general. Sleazy or not? That's kind of sleazy, hopefully she just eats up the attention and nothing more. Maturity will be a critical issue as they will be in different places in their life however if he's extra immature or she's extra mature then maybe not. I personally at that age wouldn't have considered it. 2
Author sugarpuss Posted August 8, 2016 Author Posted August 8, 2016 That's kind of sleazy, hopefully she just eats up the attention and nothing more. Maturity will be a critical issue as they will be in different places in their life however if he's extra immature or she's extra mature then maybe not. I personally at that age wouldn't have considered it. Right. She seems extremely immature so I highly doubt it'll play out well. In the mean time, it's just a little gross? watching this dude make an idiot of himself. I'm around the same age as him and I even can't imagine hitting on someone under 20, let alone someone who is close friends with my sibling. But hey, I guess that's for him to worry about, not me. 1
Els Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 7 years isn't much when both people are in their 30s or older, but at their age it's pretty substantial and is likely going to be an obstacle if they want anything more serious. That being said, they're both adults so it's really none of our business IMO. I do get grossed out when I see HUGE age gaps though, like one of them being more than twice the other's age, but this gap doesn't necessarily elicit that sort of feeling from me. 1
JuanDelToro Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 Right. She seems extremely immature so I highly doubt it'll play out well. In the mean time, it's just a little gross? watching this dude make an idiot of himself. I'm around the same age as him and I even can't imagine hitting on someone under 20, let alone someone who is close friends with my sibling. But hey, I guess that's for him to worry about, not me. But that's your subjective view. You could be conditioned by social and family standards to be prudish on such matters. They're both adults on their sexual prime, if mutual attraction is present and there's consent, they have every right to flirt (and mate, if it comes to that) without being judged by you or anyone else.
Gloria25 Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 I'm 40 my BF is 47, it doesn't seem weird at this age; but yeah a 27 year old and 19 year old are a way different levels in life, not the best situation. Agreed. He's 27, a young adult...she'd 19, a freakin' teenager/kid. He probably is after someone impressionable, that is easy to manipulate control. I mean, to a starry eyed 19 year old, he's a god and she probably feels important that a "man" (lol, I'm dying laughing) wants her. 2
JuanDelToro Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 Agreed. He's 27, a young adult...she'd 19, a freakin' teenager/kid. He probably is after someone impressionable, that is easy to manipulate control. I mean, to a starry eyed 19 year old, he's a god and she probably feels important that a "man" (lol, I'm dying laughing) wants her. What does that suppose to mean? A 27yo is not a man? By the age of 25, i had served the army with 2 rounds of deployment as an officer in war zones, i got engaged, i suffered the loss of a child, i was running a business with multiple staff. Maturity and what makes a man "a man" is not defined by age, you should know that. 1
Gloria25 Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 (edited) What does that suppose to mean? A 27yo is not a man? By the age of 25, i had served the army with 2 rounds of deployment as an officer in war zones, i got engaged, i suffered the loss of a child, i was running a business with multiple staff. Maturity and what makes a man "a man" is not defined by age, you should know that. I was seeing a 26 yr old recently... Trust me, age was an issue in how we communicated, etc. I didn't have half the trouble with my last FWB, who was 42. I mean, setting up meets with my 42 yr old was straight forward and easy. This guy, the 26th year old, it's a headache and trying to express that to him turns into some stupid arguments. Its like we're speaking different languages, literally. I seriously believe its his age. He just doesn't get it, to me it's freakin simple, but then he thinks I'm trying to control him or be his mom or I don't know. Oh, I'm 40, BTW. Edited August 8, 2016 by Gloria25
Author sugarpuss Posted August 8, 2016 Author Posted August 8, 2016 But that's your subjective view. You could be conditioned by social and family standards to be prudish on such matters. They're both adults on their sexual prime, if mutual attraction is present and there's consent, they have every right to flirt (and mate, if it comes to that) without being judged by you or anyone else. My view definitely is subjective. That's why I said I was too close to the situation to have an unbiased opinion in my OP. I actually dated a 25-26 year old when I was 19 myself, so I'm not opposed to the idea. I think in this case, what seems sleazy to me is the way he is going about it, which is something I didn't write in my OP. He probably is after someone impressionable, that is easy to manipulate control. I mean, to a starry eyed 19 year old, he's a god and she probably feels important that a "man" (lol, I'm dying laughing) wants her. I think you hit the nail on the head here. This guy is insecure and I'm sure he likes being built up by a hot young thang. He's not where he wants to be in life, has a less than desirable job, etc. So what you wrote makes perfect sense. 1
fromheart Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 Just curious what others think about this situation. I'm a bystander but feel like I'm too biased to have a valid opinion. Is it appropriate for a guy to be "interested" in one of his sister's best friends? Age difference is 7-8 years. She's 19 he's 27. He hits on her like crazy. She eats the attention up. I know other factors, like maturity level, come into play, but in general. Sleazy or not? Hope this don't cause offense.... Women grow up earlier and 'peak,' earlier then men in my experience. An adult woman 7 years younger is absolutely fine. More of a question if they're both going to treat each other with respect. Its not his age that will determine whether he's sleazy, its his character.
Vado Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 19 and 27, it depends. When I was 19 I would love to date a 27 year old woman I met at college (my teacher) but it never happend unfortunatly.
BikerAccnt Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 I'm 55, the woman I'm currently seeing is 48. 7 year age difference. But, as others have said, it's a bit more problematic at younger ages. To me, it's moreso because at younger ages you have a much wider maturity difference and life experience difference. I'm not really sure what a 27 year old and a 19 year old would have in common. Aside from the obvious hormonal attraction 1
Sunkissedpatio Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 I don't see a problem with that. When I was that age I was dating guys in their mid to late 20's. In this case he could be 27 going on 21 and she could be 19 going on 20 in which case it could totally work. But if I were the guy I'd be careful because 9/10 times it is the guy who gets hurt in these situations, at 19 she is DEFINITELY going to want to play the field when the novelty of dating this older dude wears off. He is setting himself up for heartache. 1
JuanDelToro Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 I was seeing a 26 yr old recently... Trust me, age was an issue in how we communicated, etc. I didn't have half the trouble with my last FWB, who was 42. I mean, setting up meets with my 42 yr old was straight forward and easy. This guy, the 26th year old, it's a headache and trying to express that to him turns into some stupid arguments. Its like we're speaking different languages, literally. I seriously believe its his age. He just doesn't get it, to me it's freakin simple, but then he thinks I'm trying to control him or be his mom or I don't know. Oh, I'm 40, BTW. I do understand what you're saying and definitely many men are incredibly immature, but it is irrelevant of age. Maturity is tied to environmental factors moderated by situational conditions. My view definitely is subjective. That's why I said I was too close to the situation to have an unbiased opinion in my OP. I actually dated a 25-26 year old when I was 19 myself, so I'm not opposed to the idea. I think in this case, what seems sleazy to me is the way he is going about it, which is something I didn't write in my OP. So what is he doing exactly?
ChickiePops Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 It's case by case. It can certainly be sleazy but it can also be fine. When I was 22 my boyfriend was 37, and now I'm 34 and my fiancé is 43..I've always dated older men. Depends on the situation.
Author sugarpuss Posted August 9, 2016 Author Posted August 9, 2016 So what is he doing exactly? Let's just say it's on public social media and there has been an eggplant emoji involved.
Recommended Posts