shenry35 Posted August 7, 2016 Posted August 7, 2016 I'm sorry if this is too long, I'll try and keep it short. Me and my boyfriend were going out for 7 months. We got on so so well! We had been friends before we started seeing each other and we had a real connection. Things started to get a bit rocky over the last month or so and to be honest we were only meeting up once or twice a month for sex. We were still in contact and would talk on the phone but we really weren't seeing much of each other. He is scared of relationships but he always said how happy I made him and that he would commit someday but wanted to take it slow. I held on for a while hoping that maybe things would change and it was pretty upsetting. My family hating seeing my cry and so miserable so they messaged him on Facebook telling me to leave me alone. He told me it would be best if he walked away and it was good between us while it lasted. He then blocked me My cousin was quite rude to him to be honest and my mum told him to block me. He text me on whatsapp saying he treated me really badly and I'll realise that Then it'll be time to talk if I still want to. My mum and him were still messaging on Facebook at this point and he said he was so sorry, he wishes he could make it up to me and if there was anything he could do she was to let him know. My mum told him if he could make me happy then she wouldn't stand in his way. He told her how much he cared about me and that he would have a serious think about it. He said he can't deny how well we get on and it would make my mum smile if she saw it, which is true. He Kept saying how much he cared about me and he wants to make it right. I told him before we started no contact that I still wanted to friends and he said he would like that too. Also, he would maybe speak to me in a few weeks time. He doesn't want to particularly stop speaking to me for a while but he says it's the right thing to do. He told my mum "as far as she's concerned, we're not speaking at the minute" which I took to mean he hasn't fallen out with me completely. Do do you think we have a chance at all? I really really want to give us another go!!
DramaInPajamas Posted August 7, 2016 Posted August 7, 2016 I'm sorry if this is too long, I'll try and keep it short. Me and my boyfriend were going out for 7 months. We got on so so well! We had been friends before we started seeing each other and we had a real connection. Things started to get a bit rocky over the last month or so and to be honest we were only meeting up once or twice a month for sex. We were still in contact and would talk on the phone but we really weren't seeing much of each other. He is scared of relationships but he always said how happy I made him and that he would commit someday but wanted to take it slow. I held on for a while hoping that maybe things would change and it was pretty upsetting. My family hating seeing my cry and so miserable so they messaged him on Facebook telling me to leave me alone. He told me it would be best if he walked away and it was good between us while it lasted. He then blocked me My cousin was quite rude to him to be honest and my mum told him to block me. He text me on whatsapp saying he treated me really badly and I'll realise that Then it'll be time to talk if I still want to. My mum and him were still messaging on Facebook at this point and he said he was so sorry, he wishes he could make it up to me and if there was anything he could do she was to let him know. My mum told him if he could make me happy then she wouldn't stand in his way. He told her how much he cared about me and that he would have a serious think about it. He said he can't deny how well we get on and it would make my mum smile if she saw it, which is true. He Kept saying how much he cared about me and he wants to make it right. I told him before we started no contact that I still wanted to friends and he said he would like that too. Also, he would maybe speak to me in a few weeks time. He doesn't want to particularly stop speaking to me for a while but he says it's the right thing to do. He told my mum "as far as she's concerned, we're not speaking at the minute" which I took to mean he hasn't fallen out with me completely. Do do you think we have a chance at all? I really really want to give us another go!! You have only met for sex in the last month, your mother is involved in your break up. Good god. This sounds like the relationship from hell. Your mum involved is just creepy. Why would you want a relationship like this. 2
kendahke Posted August 7, 2016 Posted August 7, 2016 I'm sorry if this is too long, I'll try and keep it short. Me and my boyfriend were going out for 7 months. We got on so so well! We had been friends before we started seeing each other and we had a real connection. Things started to get a bit rocky over the last month or so and to be honest we were only meeting up once or twice a month for sex. We were still in contact and would talk on the phone but we really weren't seeing much of each other. He is scared of relationships but He's not scared of relationships. Friendships are relationships and you two have an established friendship, so that's not the reason. He wants no-commitment sex, not a girlfriend because it doesn't require that he be obligated to you as he would be in a committed, romantic relationship. he always said how happy I made him and that he would commit someday but wanted to take it slow. I held on for a while hoping that maybe things would change and it was pretty upsetting. Yeah, he was happy as long as you let him use you for no-commitment sex twice a week. I mean, ain't nothing wrong with getting an itch scratched AS LONG AS YOU KNOW THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE DOING and you're not doing this to manipulate him into something he doesn't want to be in. You can't sex a man into a relationship he has no intention on being in. Did you ask him how much time he needed to come to that conclusion? I wouldn't have stuck around--I'd throw it in reverse and take him all the way back to strict friendship--and I don't have sex with my friends. I value myself way higher than that. If he was telling me that someday, he might and other nebulous drivel, I'd have just said "Boy, bye". My family hating seeing my cry and so miserable so they messaged him on Facebook telling me to leave me alone. He told me it would be best if he walked away and it was good between us while it lasted. He then blocked me I would have too. This wasn't their business. Too much unnecessary drama. My cousin was quite rude to him to be honest and my mum told him to block me. He text me on whatsapp saying he treated me really badly and I'll realise that Then it'll be time to talk if I still want to. My mum and him were still messaging on Facebook at this point and he said he was so sorry, he wishes he could make it up to me and if there was anything he could do she was to let him know. My mum told him if he could make me happy then she wouldn't stand in his way. He told her how much he cared about me and that he would have a serious think about it. He said he can't deny how well we get on and it would make my mum smile if she saw it, which is true. He Kept saying how much he cared about me and he wants to make it right. I'm sorry, but I'd be completely creeped out by my partner's cousin and mom messaging me on Facebook or anywhere else. I told him before we started no contact that I still wanted to friends and he said he would like that too. Also, he would maybe speak to me in a few weeks time. He doesn't want to particularly stop speaking to me for a while but he says it's the right thing to do. He told my mum "as far as she's concerned, we're not speaking at the minute" which I took to mean he hasn't fallen out with me completely. Do do you think we have a chance at all? I really really want to give us another go!! No. What's the point? He doesn't want what you want and you already know that. You'd be better served by letting him go and you go find another guy who wants to be your boyfriend and he acts like it. I certainly wouldn't get back with anyone who runs our relationship past their committee--too much unnecessary drama 2
Author shenry35 Posted August 7, 2016 Author Posted August 7, 2016 I didn't run it past my committee as such. I was just venting my frustration and they had enough. I shouldn't have went on about it really. I was raging at my family for getting involved but there's nothing I can do now unfortunately.
kendahke Posted August 7, 2016 Posted August 7, 2016 I didn't run it past my committee as such. I was just venting my frustration and they had enough. I shouldn't have went on about it really. I was raging at my family for getting involved but there's nothing I can do now unfortunately. do you do this often with them to where they are now at the wall with you and your relationship woes? I find it odd that upon hearing it for the first time, they're there unless it's a pattern with you.
DramaInPajamas Posted August 7, 2016 Posted August 7, 2016 I didn't run it past my committee as such. I was just venting my frustration and they had enough. I shouldn't have went on about it really. I was raging at my family for getting involved but there's nothing I can do now unfortunately. How old are you? If you cant have a relationship for 7 months without venting all your frustrations on your family and involving them then you sound very immature. Are your family hired guns? Telling your BF off for being nasty to you? I am not surprised he blocked you. If my boyfriends mommy contacted me telling me not to be nasty to her son OMG that would be it. He'd never see me again. 1
Author shenry35 Posted August 7, 2016 Author Posted August 7, 2016 I'm 26 and I'm not being immature. I really do love the guy and he told me he did too. He said my family done the right thing messaging him because they have now opened his eyes to how badly he was treating me. He said he's questioning what kind of man he really is and he's ashamed of it. He also said that when I've realised that myself, it'll be time enough to talk then. I just talked to my family about what I should do, and they said to end it I deserved better. I told them I couldn't do it, so they did it for me. It was just upsetting the way he could go days not replying to my calls or texts and it sickened me. I tried to hide it but everyone could see right through me.
DramaInPajamas Posted August 7, 2016 Posted August 7, 2016 I'm 26 and I'm not being immature. I really do love the guy and he told me he did too. He said my family done the right thing messaging him because they have now opened his eyes to how badly he was treating me. He said he's questioning what kind of man he really is and he's ashamed of it. He also said that when I've realised that myself, it'll be time enough to talk then. I just talked to my family about what I should do, and they said to end it I deserved better. I told them I couldn't do it, so they did it for me. It was just upsetting the way he could go days not replying to my calls or texts and it sickened me. I tried to hide it but everyone could see right through me. You asked your family what to do. They told you to end it. You sided with them and asked them to do it for you. You are 26 and you say you are not immature. I feel sorry for any man getting involved with you, having to deal with your indecision and over attachment to your family. It really isnt becoming for a woman of your age. He dodged a bullet getting away from you. 2
Author shenry35 Posted August 7, 2016 Author Posted August 7, 2016 I DID NOT ask them to get involved or do anything for me! I expressly told them to leave it the hell alone!! But they refused to listen!! They went behind my back when I wasn't there and done it before I even realised!
DramaInPajamas Posted August 7, 2016 Posted August 7, 2016 I DID NOT ask them to get involved or do anything for me! I expressly told them to leave it the hell alone!! But they refused to listen!! They went behind my back when I wasn't there and done it before I even realised! You've just said they told you end it and did it for you. You asked them their opinion and were happy to have them interfere. You are 26 not 6. Are your family always going to be involved in your short term relationships. I'm out.
Author shenry35 Posted August 7, 2016 Author Posted August 7, 2016 I didn't want them involved. I shouldn't have even talked about it with them. I will learn.
preraph Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 Bottom line is he was only coming for sex once a month, so this wasn't a real dating relationship. It just wasn't. So you need to just let it go because he's not who you hoped he would be or who you deserve. Good luck. 2
kendahke Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 I'm 26 I just talked to my family about what I should do, and they said to end it I deserved better. I told them I couldn't do it, so they did it for me. See, I would expect this for someone who is 16, not 26. By the age of 26, I was fully capable of telling a guy it was over without telling my mom or any of my family members. Now whether or not I did it is another matter, but I've never had my family put their noses in my relationships especially when I knew deep down that I wasn't in the head space to end it. This is what I mean by running it by a committee--and you may disagree that you do this, but my dear, it's exactly what you did. You admit as much in the above quote.
kendahke Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 . It was just upsetting the way he could go days not replying to my calls or texts and it sickened me. I tried to hide it but everyone could see right through me. Rejection is very unpleasant and no one wants to be in that position. It can make one miserable, that's for sure. He said he's questioning what kind of man he really is and he's ashamed of it. He also said that when I've realised that myself, it'll be time enough to talk then. You need to look at this for what it is. It's all well and good that he sees the error of his ways now, but the issue is: what is HE going to do about correcting this problem of vaporizing for days on end and not returning texts and calls, besides sitting back and waiting for you to realize whatever? The onus here isn't on you. To me, it's a cop out for him to do this fade as if he's doing you a favor by letting you come to him. You aren't the problem here: he is. He's scaled back your involvement all the way to a FWB on his terms and doesn't have the stones to tell you to your face that you've been demoted. He still doesn't--because he's acting like you need to realize something that he needs to be demonstrating to you on a daily basis if what he's saying is true. He'll deal with you when he feels like some sex because he knows you want a relationship with him and are malleable enough to where you will twist yourself up to accommodate him. IMO, you need to put your foot down with him and shut down the candy store. If he's not willing to give you the relationship you want, you need to be willing to walk away and leave this where it lies. You're doing way too much of the heavy pushing here when he's the one who needs to be putting a shoulder to it.
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