Author abramov Posted August 23, 2016 Author Posted August 23, 2016 (edited) i think you should ask her again....i feel she is interested...she is probably asking the co worker to say things to you or talking about you ...obviously the co worker is more than a co worker and a friend to her......deb Do you think this girl gave me what sounded like a 'No' when I asked her out because she was too shy to say yes? Since she is very shy, shouldn't I just talk to her and get to know each other better? And then finally, before you know it, we will be going out as a couple? Edited August 23, 2016 by abramov
aileD Posted August 23, 2016 Posted August 23, 2016 Why don't you just ask for her number first and talk for a little bit and then figure out a date?
Author abramov Posted August 23, 2016 Author Posted August 23, 2016 Why don't you just ask for her number first and talk for a little bit and then figure out a date? If she's very shy, do you think she will be hesistant to respond even if she is interested?
Author abramov Posted August 24, 2016 Author Posted August 24, 2016 Don't ask her Just talk to her.. Make her laugh.. Ask her how her day is.. Make her want that date So how interested would you say she is?
aileD Posted August 24, 2016 Posted August 24, 2016 If she's very shy, do you think she will be hesistant to respond even if she is interested? Well you won't know until you ask right? Shy people don't want to seclude themselves from things, they just want someone else to make the first move and break the ice Stop being shy and ask.
Author abramov Posted September 2, 2016 Author Posted September 2, 2016 (edited) I asked a very shy girl (Jessica) out. We work at different stores inside a shopping mall. We recognize each other, but we don't know each other well and haven't spoken too much. One day, I asked her out. I said:"Do you want to go for coffee together on one of your days off?" She said "Not sure when because when I am not working here, I work at a daycare." Right after, she had a big smile on her face with eye contact. So I took it as a rejection and said 'That's fine.'. About a week later, her co-worker came up to me by herself and told me that this girl will be working on Sunday and asked if I am also working on Sunday. I said I only work from Tues. to Sat. The co-worker then said "Then you guys will see each other on Thursdays." and finally said, "I want you for Jessica! Keep trying!" The co-worker also told one of my friends that I should talk to Jessica because Jessica and I are both single. Also, about a week after the co-worker approached me, Jessica worked on Saturday. Was that creating an opportunity for me to talk to her? The co-worker wouldn't have done this if Jessica weren't interested at all? I told my friends about it and they all say that this very shy girl is likely too shy to say yes to your invitation. However, About a week later, as she was leaving work, I ran into her and said "Good Night, Jessica!". She looked at me in the eye, but said nothing and gave a tight lipped smile and continued to look at me. I was really surprised by her reaction. I thought that she would at least say "Good night" back to me. Maybe she became speechless because she is very shy? Because of this, I now keep thinking that she wants me to go away? What are your thoughts? Given her reaction tonight, should I just give up on this very shy girl? Edited September 2, 2016 by abramov
basil67 Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 If you know her well enough to know there's an awesome personality under the shyness, then perhaps follow it up. But if your chasing of her is based on not much more than her look, I'd give it up.
smudge21 Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 If you both work the same days at some point, then ask her to join you for lunch. It's all about getting through that shyness she may have and if you think she's worth the work, then take your time and run at her pace.. but of course don't put too much into it just in case this doesn't work out. Lunch may be an opportunity for her to open up and also get to know you better, all the while knowing it's short term, so no commitment. If all goes well, suggest a drink after work.
marxman2015 Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 Dont trust what a third party says at this point And dont talk or blabber to any third parties and your words will get right back to jessica I think what you could try is: - Make small conversation with jessica - Make her laugh - Ask for her phone number Then if she gives it to you, start from there
Author abramov Posted September 2, 2016 Author Posted September 2, 2016 If you know her well enough to know there's an awesome personality under the shyness, then perhaps follow it up. But if your chasing of her is based on not much more than her look, I'd give it up. Why do you recommend giving it up if I am mainly attracted to her looks? You mean she doesn't seem enthusiastic?
Ami1uwant Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 The third party bring this up says yo me she probably was talking about you but she is too shy to show it.
Larryville Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 I agree with Marx. Just go for it and take initiative and lets the chips fall as they say. The longer you go thru this hand wringing and second guessing the more likely you are to miss out.
preraph Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 Why do you recommend giving it up if I am mainly attracted to her looks? You mean she doesn't seem enthusiastic? Because at this point she has zero personality, so why are you focused on her if not strictly for looks? She might not even be a nice person. She might not be shy. She might just clam up when she doesn't want to talk to a guy. You asked her out once and now she can't even say hi to you when you cross paths. To me, that's not going anywhere. A shy girl can smile and say hi if she's interested.
mortensorchid Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 If you are not sure, communicate directly to her. Granted, you did ask her to get the coffee one time and she said that she does not work at the mall, she worked elsewhere. Well, for clarification ask her out again and say something direct like "I'd like to take you out sometime, are you interested?". If she says yes, that's your answer. If she says something vague like she did before then that's your answer - which is no. 1
Author abramov Posted September 3, 2016 Author Posted September 3, 2016 (edited) The third party bring this up says yo me she probably was talking about you but she is too shy to show it. Can you elaborate please? You mean that she is interested? In any case, however, I will give up on her. My decision is set. I feel like an idiot. Edited September 3, 2016 by abramov
tomtheman1234 Posted September 4, 2016 Posted September 4, 2016 I was in the same boat as you in at the beginning of 2015 and had to end the relationship after 4 dates. She got very angry when I did end it. At the of the day only you can make the decision as to if its worth dating a shy girl.
Author abramov Posted September 5, 2016 Author Posted September 5, 2016 I was in the same boat as you in at the beginning of 2015 and had to end the relationship after 4 dates. She got very angry when I did end it. At the of the day only you can make the decision as to if its worth dating a shy girl. So her fake smile doesn't necessarily mean that she wants me to get lost?
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 (edited) I think if it's only shyness and inexperience ( on the girls part) that's getting in your way then that's not a reason to quit on her. Gives you an excuse to take the bull by the horns. If you don't take the initiative, then I would probably assume that you're more likely to be a lot shyer than she is. Maybe she's just waiting for you to be more assertive. As in, asking her out properly on a date rather than waiting for her to give subtle cues or facial expressions before you take the plunge. Just do it. Edited September 5, 2016 by Daisy-oliviaWentcher
Erik30 Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 "She said "Not sure when because when I am not working here, I work at a daycare."*" I think you were initially right as just taking that as a rejection. If she was interested, she could have given you some alternatives. She could have said "not this week, but next," something like that. Here she's basically saying she's always too busy. Also notice she didn't say she would like to go. And that co-worker might just be thinking you two would look good together, (all her own idea) or thought it would be nice if that shy girl was dating some guy. Her smiling might just be because she's nervous, you probably shouldn't read too much into that. You could try again to make a definite date. If she gives you an excuse, she's not interested.
Bialy Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 It sounds like she is rude and socially awkward --- NOT shy. I wouldn't bother asking someone like that out again after those two experiences. You can - but just prepared for another awkward rejection.
Author abramov Posted September 6, 2016 Author Posted September 6, 2016 Not worth the time. leave her alone Why not? but I really like her though?
Author abramov Posted September 9, 2016 Author Posted September 9, 2016 We both work at a mall. I asked her out and she said "not sure when because I work at a daycare when I am not working here at this mall." So I left her alone for a week. She then sends her co-worker to come talk to me. Her co-worker/friend then says "Jasmine will be working on Sunday. Are you also working on that day?" I said "No, only from Tuesdays through Saturdays. She then "You guys will see each other on Thursdays. I want you for Jasmine! Keep trying!" I told the co-worker/friend that it seems like the girl wants me to leave her alone. Her reply: "NO!!! NOT TRUE!!!" The co-worker/friend has since continued to bring up the girl from time to time and mentioned her schedule. A few weeks later, she quit her daycare job to take up a second job at the same mall. I asked her what happened and she responds enthusiastically and says "I MOVED!" with a huge smile on her face. I started talking to her again since then. Could it also mean if my love interest is also interested but the interest is not "solid"? What do you guys think?
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