TheKingOfHearts Posted August 7, 2016 Posted August 7, 2016 Okay, so here it goes. I was on a dating website with no success. When I was on the site, I came across a girl I knew who was in a few of my college classes. I messaged her on the site as a joke, joked around some more to a point where were seeing each other almost everyday after about a month of talking. We really got along, our schedules were perfect, teasing each other all the time, playful banter ect. We had quite a few serious conversations about our future together, how shes really happy when shes with me, loves talking to me, she really likes me, could this be it, she dreamed about us all the time; just to name a few. Now, it took us a few months to have sex which I didn't mind. She has a young kid who happens to be a few years old. In the beginning, we both agreed that it wouldn't be a good idea for me to meet the kid. We kept up with that rule for a few months and then she asked me if it would be okay if the kid was around us to which I said it wouldn't be a bother. He's really a good kid and in my point of view she trusts me. Baby daddy is nothing but a deadbeat. Barely gives money for support, doesn't really have a job and treats her like ****. I for one was not getting into that whole situation to try and play savior. I know better than that. Things kept getting out of hand with her and baby daddy, the kid was getting sick, problems with her house and work. A month or so ago she had a "glitch" about us and tried pushing me away to where she came back and said she was hard on herself and she was sorry. I went away just this past weekend and she was checking on me to see how I was doing...just the usual bf/gf talk. When I got back into town I went over her house and all was well. I come back to my place and within an hour later I got the following text: "This is definitely coming from left field and the timing wont ever be right. I don't want to pursue what we have going on anymore and there is no one else. I just feel like I want and need to do my own thing and I have been distancing myself lately without trying too. I know you will be mad and won't understand but I just gotta call it quits. I am so wishy washy and back and forth and it should be that way.. Your a really nice person and don't question yourself because I have issues." Shocked. Shocked because of all the things she said to me in the past about us now this. Ever since then I have been giving her space and haven't been initiating conversation. She texts me everyday to see how my day is going, what shes up too ect. She hearts my facebook pictures I put up. Its just odd. I don't usually get hung up, but I really like this chick. Aside from a few minor issues I can deal with, I really would like to be with her again. Sorry for the rant everyone, I had to get it all out and it feels so much better. I look forward to the replies. Any bit of help counts.
phineas Posted August 7, 2016 Posted August 7, 2016 There IS most likely someone else. She just said there wasn't in case the new guy she met while you were out of town or when she started acting different doesn't work out for her. Or she was just lonely and isn't all that into you. But, it doesn't really matter. When a woman ends it with me she will never again be anything more than FWB's or an occasional hookup and she has to be the one who hits me up. 1
Omei Posted August 7, 2016 Posted August 7, 2016 There may not be someone else you have no proof of that so you'll just have to take her word for it. She stated her peice and now it's done. It's possible she's wigging out about the future and isn't ready for commitment yet and things are getting too comfy. No matter the reasons she's calling it quits so you should too.
Author TheKingOfHearts Posted August 7, 2016 Author Posted August 7, 2016 I don't think there is someone else. She does have a lot going on in her life with her kid, house, and baby daddy. She does not like the baby daddy at all and they won't get back together. Here is another text "I just gotta be on my own emotionally to heal and grow, but like I said before its not that you did anything wrong its just how I've been feeling lately and I just want to be fair and honest with you. I know how I feel and its not going to change." This was two weeks ago. Now mind you, she still texts me everyday and she just texted me now saying "she has to tell me some stuff, come over"
biker23 Posted August 7, 2016 Posted August 7, 2016 A few thoughts. She should at least have talked to you about this and not text. I feel you need to be tough here and say if we aren't going out then I don't want to be friends. Ask her to reach out when she's interested in more than friends. Then go no contact. Right now she gets you as a supportive friend and you are hanging in hoping for more. She needs to miss you. It's too easy for her right now Go to YouTube and listen to some Corey Wayne videos 3
phineas Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 (edited) I don't think there is someone else. She does have a lot going on in her life with her kid, house, and baby daddy. She does not like the baby daddy at all and they won't get back together. Here is another text "I just gotta be on my own emotionally to heal and grow, but like I said before its not that you did anything wrong its just how I've been feeling lately and I just want to be fair and honest with you. I know how I feel and its not going to change." This was two weeks ago. Now mind you, she still texts me everyday and she just texted me now saying "she has to tell me some stuff, come over" Come over? Screw that noise. She dumped you. Now she expects you to drop everything & run right over there because she has to tell you something? She broke up with you over text man. When a woman who knows i want to be with her romantically doesn't want to be with me romantically and tells me to come over I simply respond with "you come here". Then I ignore them until they comply. If she has something important to say, she can come to you to say it. Trust me on this, going over there will just be waste of time and possibly torture. Edited August 8, 2016 by phineas 2
Author TheKingOfHearts Posted August 9, 2016 Author Posted August 9, 2016 So I told her I wasn't coming over and that if she wanted to talk you could either call me or come over. She wound up coming over and went into detail on whats going on in her life for the next month or so. She has to move out of her house and has to go back with the baby daddy. She does truly hate him and has said multiple times that they are not going to get back together, but this is her only option and she can save money this way. We talked about us and again she kept saying that she cares about me ect. She feels like she has weight lifted off her shoulders that everything will be okay for the kid and for herself financially. I then told her that if your going to be okay, why can't we just be adults and work this out? She then proceeded to tell me that once she makes a decision she doesn't go back on it and it is not me at all....shes the problem she says. With that, I guess it's over. But it would be cool if it could workout maybe down the road, who knows. And like I said in my previous post I never get hung up on a chick but there is some kind of chemistry we have that I can't put into words. What do yall think?
longjohn Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 "This is definitely coming from left field and the timing wont ever be right. I don't want to pursue what we have going on anymore and there is no one else. Translation your out the other guy is in. When your told there's no one else there's someone else. For all you know it was a two (or more) horse race and you didn't meet her cut. It's ok she might resurface in a few months and want to "try again" translation to that is he bailed and your her best option for now. Best to steer clear of those types.
TXGuy Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 She has to move out of her house and has to go back with the baby daddy. She does truly hate him and has said multiple times that they are not going to get back together, but this is her only option and she can save money this way. ... I then told her that if your going to be okay, why can't we just be adults and work this out? ... But it would be cool if it could workout maybe down the road, who knows. ... What do yall think? I think you have blinders on. She is going back to her ex. The fact that you don't believe that, when she has told you explicitly that is what she is doing, is staggering. She lied to your face (eyes) when she broke up with you over text and said there was nobody else. There is. Her ex. I'm amazed that you are letting her 'poop' all over you and your response is to suggest you two can work it out! Take a break from her (you have no choice). Maybe in a few days/weeks you will see what is crystal clear to the rest of the (readers of this thread and anyone else that has heard this story).
Author TheKingOfHearts Posted August 9, 2016 Author Posted August 9, 2016 I think you have blinders on. She is going back to her ex. The fact that you don't believe that, when she has told you explicitly that is what she is doing, is staggering. She lied to your face (eyes) when she broke up with you over text and said there was nobody else. There is. Her ex. I'm amazed that you are letting her 'poop' all over you and your response is to suggest you two can work it out! Take a break from her (you have no choice). Maybe in a few days/weeks you will see what is crystal clear to the rest of the (readers of this thread and anyone else that has heard this story). I was just trying to be hopeful but I guess it's kinda over. Does she truly hate the baby daddy? Yes. They fight all the time and I was a witness to it. Her money situation sucks and she has two options. Either move out of her place currently to another house and pay a $100 more in rent, or live with the baby daddy on another floor for dirt cheap rent. Is she a psycho or is it just me? Pretty sure I got played for what I dk
Gloria25 Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 She's playing you. It's either baby daddy to pay her bills or some chump. Lovely, she makes you wait for sex (to give you blue balls and make you think she wants to really connect with you)... and, after she gives you a taste, just miraculously figures out she needs to get her life straight (yeah, get her bills paid). Boy, gotta hand it to these chicks...well played. I don't have those manipulative skills - hence, why I'm perpetually single 1
TXGuy Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 She's playing you. It's either baby daddy to pay her bills or some chump. Lovely, she makes you wait for sex (to give you blue balls and make you think she wants to really connect with you)... and, after she gives you a taste, just miraculously figures out she needs to get her life straight (yeah, get her bills paid). Boy, gotta hand it to these chicks...well played. I don't have those manipulative skills - hence, why I'm perpetually single I agree. But at least he got out reasonably cheaply. I bet she was hinting that op should help her out financially. 1
SoThatHappened Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 And like I said in my previous post I never get hung up on a chick but there is some kind of chemistry we have that I can't put into words. What do yall think? That "chemistry" is you wanting to be her white knight. I've done that. I'll never make that mistake again. Find a woman without that baggage. You cannot, I repeat, cannot fix her. She knows what she's doing by getting multiple needs met by multiple guys. She probably sees you and the babby daddy as nothing more than means to an end in the form of support (financial, emotional, physical, etc.) Don't be her crutch, her savior, her white knight. You will get destroyed... trust me man. Just walk away. I wish I would've listened to this same advice years ago. 1
TXGuy Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 Also, "I hate him", "he's a deadbeat", "he's abusive" is often baby-mama code for "I'm still sleeping with him." 1
Gloria25 Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 I agree. But at least he got out reasonably cheaply. I bet she was hinting that op should help her out financially. That's how they do. I found out through the scuttlebutt that's how the town H did to that fool that left me for her...and, it works like a charm. I don't have time for games and I don't need to get on my back to have my bills paid. 1
Gloria25 Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 Also, "I hate him", "he's a deadbeat", "he's abusive" is often baby-mama code for "I'm still sleeping with him." No, she means it...but the D is too much for her to turn down, and why not have her cake and eat it too? She gets D from abusive ex, and a chump to make-up for abusive ex's shortcomings.
phineas Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 So I told her I wasn't coming over and that if she wanted to talk you could either call me or come over. She wound up coming over and went into detail on whats going on in her life for the next month or so. She has to move out of her house and has to go back with the baby daddy. She does truly hate him and has said multiple times that they are not going to get back together, but this is her only option and she can save money this way. We talked about us and again she kept saying that she cares about me ect. She feels like she has weight lifted off her shoulders that everything will be okay for the kid and for herself financially. I then told her that if your going to be okay, why can't we just be adults and work this out? She then proceeded to tell me that once she makes a decision she doesn't go back on it and it is not me at all....shes the problem she says. With that, I guess it's over. But it would be cool if it could workout maybe down the road, who knows. And like I said in my previous post I never get hung up on a chick but there is some kind of chemistry we have that I can't put into words. What do yall think? For the love of god please please please delete this woman from your life. Block her number, block her on all social media. I would be cruising the local appliance store for a refrigerator box or craigs list for a van to park down by the river before I moved back in with my ex wife. She is lying to you. Have you ever heard of a anyone moving back in with their ex they hate? I haven't. Unless they were lying.
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